Difficult toddler

Aw Bunnyhugger, poor thing! It seems that it is a medical issue which is causing her to be so upset

I hope you get to the bottom of it soon!

Hugs to you and your LG

Thank you mommies for all your advice. Since my LG has been on antibiotics and probiotics for what we suspected were parasites, she has been a different child. My sister-in-law even remarked on how happy and cheerful she seemed. Then this week she started regressing again. Her stools have changed again ( loose, sour smelling and pale) and she is fussy, clingy, whiny and in general more temperamental. We are waiting for malabsorbtion results and will decide what to do from there. So confusing. Ive gotten so used to her being whiny and irritable that I no longer know whether its a sign that she has some sort of discomfort or whether that's just how she is. She will go for long periods of just crying and only putting her to the breast helps which isn't great for my weaning attempt. But when she was on the antibiotis she was a different child. It now makes me wonder whether she is unhappy with something. We have now taken her off cows milk but that hasn't made a difference. Im hoping the test result will come back with something cause this is driving us nuts.

Hi Bunnyhugger,

First big hugs to you and your little one. This sure is a challenging time.
I would firstly make sure your LO is healthy and there are no medical problems. I remember when my LO was sick or teething she was extremely difficult with a lot of tantrums. They simply don't have the words to express "I am feeling rotten and in pain" and the only way to communicate that is through tantrums and violent behavior. I would seriously not underestimate the effect if your LO is not well and the effect on her behavior.

Secondly her behavior sounds to a certain extent like very normal 2 year old behavior. But once again if you are uncertain that it is way out of control I would speak to your Pead or an OT to double check.

I would also highly recommend reading up on what can be expected in terms of behavior of your child at a certain age, this helps you to make sure you don't have unrealistic expectations of what your child can do at a certain age. I really love this website that has wonderful articles for guiding parents:

www.ahaparenting.com/

Hi Bunnyhugger,

I agree with Karmie, if you feel you need to take her to a therapist do so. We can all give you options here and our experiences you could try them out or have already but I wouldnt want you to kick yourself for leaving it too late.

I just would like to know from you if she is able to talk at all yet, even just one words?

As Clueless mentioned give her choices to choose from but you say you have tried this, this is probably the worst suggestion to say but have you ever just sat down at her level and asked her how she wants to do things today? Maybe wake up earlier and be ready and ask her how she wants to get ready, or wake her up and ask her if she wants to get ready with you and you both get ready together. She seems to be very attached to you considering she soothes after being breastfed and sleeping and from what I can understand She might be feeling that she doesnt get to do much with you and when you are together you laying down the rules and she just has to listen.

Other than that sometimes a little bit of firmness and tough love is required, I know that naughty corner came into play many times with me, My daughter got away with murder with my husband and thought she could act the same way with me but I no matter how much it broke my heart had to show her that she is not the boss and that sometimes rules have to be followed. We havent had an episode for a pretty long time now as I listen and she listens and we all work well together doing our daily routines.

Good luck and seriously if you really have no luck go with your gut

Hi Bunnyhugger

I get the sense from your posts that your gut is telling you to have her checked out by an occupational therapist or some other type of behavioral therapist (I am not an expert on their titles!). Always trust your gut! No one knows your child like you do.

It would never be a wasted appointment, even if just so you can have some peace of mind that your LG is just a strong-willed little lady.

All the best

Nothing at all has changed in her routine or our household or so. All exactly the same. She seems to have her phases where she has manageable tantrums which I would associate with toddler tantrums and then random days where she is impossible and I feel like I am just doing everything wrong. Yesterday lunch time she had a bit of a meltdown visiting the in-laws because I took her out of the baby chair as it was coming loose from the table and I wanted to reattach it safely. For the next hour, absolutely anything would set her of into fits of screaming and crying. Her grandmother would ask her if she wants to eat something and she would start howling all over again, then a few minutes of silence and then she will start screaming again. This carried on for an hour until I took her home and put her down for nap because she was clearly exhausted and slept much longer than usual. Her tantrums sometimes completely exhaust her and I cant figure out what triggers these long overly emotional outbursts. I know she is very strong willed and certain people keep telling me she is just naughty and trying to assert her independence but I am always consistent in my approach. Putting on shoes, cleaning teeth, going in the car seat are all non-negotiable so she knows she cant get away with it but sometimes gets so very hysterical that it lasts forever and carries on over into another tantrum and another and then she is totally exhausted. I cant help but shake the feeling that there is something causing her to be so excessive at times. I fear she might just have an aggression issue and cant pull herself together sometimes and looses complete control. She also repeatedly hits me with such intention and throws things with such anger. I have started trying doing time out now when she hits. Will see if this helps.

As for the parasites, we are not sure if that is causing the pale stools. It can cause abdominal discomfort, bloating etc. but she might also have malabsorbtion or a food intolerance which she is currently being tested for. The paediatrician asked me a scary question during examination whether there is Cystic Fibrosis in the family but there isn't and we feel she is too healthy to have anything seriously wrong with her. Hopefully the tests will shed some light on what's going on.

so there hasnt been anything significant since the start of the tantrums? Its a recent thing? Hmm, maybe you need to see a professional if it doesnt seem like anything obvious.

And the parasites you mentioned, could those be causing alot of pain? but why only at certain times?
I wish it was easier to figure and resolve tantrums!!