Hubby does not approve breastfeeding

Hi Prettyclouds

It does sound like quite a complicated situation, but it's not fair that he should impose those restrictions on you. I know my husband was also not too keen on breastfeeding when we used to speak about having children, but since I fell pregnant we've discussed it properly and he said that he'll support me with whatever decision I make. He'd also previously wanted me to have a C-section, despite him being born naturally while I was the C-section baby in the relationship, but I think that pertained more to fears he had about something going wrong during natural birth. We've decided to keep our minds open and see what happens because at this point my LG is breech and I'll do whatever needs to be done to bring her into the world safely. And as far as breastfeeding goes I really want to make it work.

The aspect of breastfeeding in public was one of his concerns too. I don't see myself being comfortable to breastfeed in front of other people so I've also said that I'll express for those occasions. While I agree with Ankie that you shouldn't be told what to do with your own body, I do also think it's important to discuss factors that can impact your relationship with your partner and social contacts and make decisions that you both agree to. Did you go to antenatal classes with your first? Maybe when you have your next one you should go and then he can interact with other dads and hear all about the benefits of breastfeeding from your class giver?

He feels if I breastfeed that everytime we have visitors or are out of the house i need to leave and go be on my own to feed baby. I dont have anything against breastfeeding in public but I would just be to shy to be able to breastfeed in front of people . I have told him if we go to town or whatever we can express and bottle feed baby but then he has the excuse that he read so much about moms that have such pain while breastfeeding and he does not want me to have to go through that. i actually think he just doesnt want me to have an excuse to go running to my room to feed baby when we have visitors I am not in the mood for ..

But ag like you have said it really isnt his choice and he cannot tell me what i should or shouldnt do with my body and my baby..

Hi PrettyClouds

Sjoe.. You have quite a situation...

I don't see why he should even have a say in the matter of how you birth and feed your baby seeing as it all happens to YOUR body and not his. You are afterall the one who sits with the scarred uterus and whatever side effects you may experience from pregnancy and whichever way you choose to birth.

Have you showed your husband the advantages breastfeeding? And also the advantages it has for you as the mom? Do you have a gynea that is very supportive of breastfeeding? Maybe having a doctor to back all the advantages will persuade him?

Who will be feeding the new baby? If it's only you, will it really make a difference to him if you breastfeed or formula feed?

Maybe you can make some compromise? I mean if you breastfeed basically only you can feed the baby (unless you express) so he can continue sleeping?

Does he know how you feel about the breastfeeding? Is there any other reason as to why he is so against it?

It is a bit off the main topic.. But do you know it is possible to have a vaginal delivery after a c section?

Good luck!

Hi ladies!

My hubby and I would like to try for an addition to the family from next year, we already have a 3 year old daughter.

when i was pregnant with her my husband was against vaginal birth aswell as breastfeeding and being young(i was 20) and terrified of becoming a mommy (I was never any good with other peoples children), I decided to agree with hubby and opted for a c-sec aswell as to feed our baby formula.

A little background into why he is against it..
Hubby and his mom are EXTREMELY close. we live like two streets away from his parents. They always know everything that goes on in each others lives. Now Im not against the fact that he loves his mom so much, he is always there for her and vice versa. She had both her children via c-sec and did not breastfeed either, so naturally my hubby wants to do it the way his mom has done it (I have confronted him about this issue where he wants me to be the way she is but he always denies that he is doing this).

Now if we have another baby i truly deep in heart feel the need to want to breastfeed or atleast bottle feed breast milk. I feel as though I am missing out on sharing this with baby and having that experience.

To some extent to be honest I feel I did not get the chance to bond properly with my daughter first because i didnt deliver her, I didnt breastfeed her, the first few months after she was born my inlaws were visiting EVERYDAY and most days was twice a day, they were always interferring in every aspect of my babys life.Now I will Not stand for this 2nd time around.

How do I get Hubby to accept the fact that i want to breastfeed 2nd baby without him getting all upset and defensive about it. He is very stubborn but also gets offended very easily.

Please help