Scenario.

Moomie Mom and little girl shopping merrily in the local Woolworths. All goes well, until Little Girl decides that she shall have her very own picnic party right here in the centre of the store, nearest to the lovely packed fruit and exotic coconuts and dragonfruit. Right THERE. There we shall enjoy a most marvelous feast.  

Only, Moomie Mom is on a budget. And she is a bit cranky, because she didn’t get enough sleep last night. Because SOMEONE kept on waking her up to read a story. Again and again. And again.

And now this. Moomie Mom knows they are already late for the appointment with girlfriends, but first to diffuse the bomb that is imminent to explode. On the floor, right in the centre of Woolworths’ fruit aisle.

A moment of silence for this Moomie Mom, as she goes to where angels fear to tread. 

Chaos. Total eruption of Mount Vesuvius. No stopping the avalance of tears, crippling all those in close-ish proximity of this small little human that cannot even spell her name yet. Consider Moomie Mom’s buttons royally pushed. 

Moomie did some research on this topic, and asked a few Moomie Moms questions about their toddlers’ special skill-set and supernatural powers. 

If they were to hold up a mirror to their toddlers’ faces, what familiar shining eyes are reflected back at them?

Your own issues

Moomie Judy: "My stubbornness!! I have a very determined little girl and she does not take kindly to being told "no" or stopped from doing what she'd set out to do. Much like her mom, then…" 

Pushing of a button is seeing something in oneself that you haven’t accepted yet. Or something that one used to do and the haunting of it still lingers.

Moomie Sarah says a new behaviour by her two year old is driving her up the wall, and leaves her with great anxiety. Whenever her toddler girl gets reprimanded for something, or an adult speaks in a too loud tone of voice, she starts crying hysterically. This irritates Moomie Sarah immensely and her first knee-jerk reaction is to want to shuuush her, to tell her to toughen up, stop it, no need for that, shush. And she would get hot and cold at the same time, and be really bothered. And then it struck her. This behaviour mirrors her own. She had the same struggles since toddlerhood and unfortunately for her, she carried it into adulthood with her. So, to this day, Sarah starts crying when an “adult” (being an adult herself, this translates to “a person in power”, be it her boss, a bank teller, the driver of the bus, etc.) speaks to her in a disparaging or critical tone. By shushing her little girl, she wants to shush herself, really. By wanting to toughen up her girl, she wants to toughen up herself too.

Another mom, Moomie Emma, gets irate when her son starts hitting the couch when he can’t have something (usually for his own good). His outburst of anger over something seemingly so small, frightens her a bit. Where is this anger coming from? And why does he hit, he has never been hit nor has he seen anyone hit in his home. That’s when she starts screaming and it is the onset of a power struggle, creating a snowball effect. 

Tips to live by

• Remember – you are the adult. You have the experience and the wisdom. Stop for a moment and do some deep breathing, to lessen the tension you are feeling.
• Ask yourself “why am I reacting like this? What exactly is it that my child does that is acting as a trigger?
• Diffuse the tension by trying to see the amusing side of whatever it is that happened. And focus on love. Love calms a LOT.
• Lastly – model the behaviour you want your child to exhibit.

We'd would love to hear what your buttons seem to be, and how often your toddler resort to pushing it! 

 – Jana Cloete

Picture by: Dani G Photography. Contact her at info@danigphotography.co.za.