It doesn’t take long for your cute, cooing baby to turn into a busy toddler. And while we’re amazed by their increasing independence, growing vocabulary and spontaneous hugs, having a toddler isn’t always fun and games. 

From approximately 12 months parents may start experiencing temper tantrums from their otherwise friendly toddlers, in what is commonly called “the terrible twos”. These could take many forms: screaming, whining, kicking, throwing objects, and rolling around on the floor crying.

You’ll be relieved to know that tantrums are a completely normal part of growing up and most parents don’t need to worry too much about them. 

As your toddler becomes more adept at doing physical tasks, their language and ability to understand and express their emotions still needs to catch up. Tantrums are normally a toddler’s way to express frustration. 

Maybe there was something they couldn’t do, or you aren’t doing something they’d like you to do. Perhaps they’re tired, uncomfortable or feeling sick. Your child will also start realising that they can’t always have everything they want and this often leads to tantrums. Each child is different and some toddlers will have tantrums more regularly than others. For some, a tantrum will build up over time. 

Young children experience the same emotions that adults do, like sadness, anger and fear. But they don’t understand what these emotions are. They don’t have the words to label what they’re feeling and they don’t have the coping mechanisms to work through the emotions. 

Tantrums in older children might be a learned behaviour, encouraged by rewarding tantrums with what the child wants. 

Thankfully, these emotional meltdowns should happen less frequently as your child starts speaking more, fizzling out by the time they turn 3. If your child is still having regular tantrums by the time they’re 5, it’s best to get advice from your doctor or psychologist. 

Research shows that long, frequent, violent or self-destructive tantrums might indicate the presence of a psychiatric illness in a child. If you are worried about your child’s behaviour, please consult your doctor. 

Look out for our next article on how to deal with toddler tantrums.