By Jan de Lange

Bullying can be a minefield to navigate. For parents, preventing your child from being bullied or from becoming a bully themselves can be an extremely challenging task. Yesterday we published an article about how to recognise if you child is being bullied. Here are some ways to prevent bullying from becoming an issue in your child’s life. 

Be vigilant

Learn the signs. The best advice for dealing with a problem is little help if you don’t know what to look for and identify that there is a problem. Children who are being bullied and children who are becoming bullies show several signs that this is happening. When kids start acting out, withdrawing, or showing aggression it’s time to step in and find out what’s going on. From time to time, these may be developmentally appropriate but even then, it should not be left unchecked.

Start at home

You can’t control your child’s school environment, what they do and what they experience at school. You can however control what is learned at home. So, begin by teaching your children about healthy friendships, social habits, and behaviour at home. Discuss their school and social lives with them and keep the lines of communication open at home. By asking open-ended questions about their interactions at school you can often gain insights into the behaviours they are exhibiting and experiencing.

Empowerment

One of the biggest perpetuating factors when it comes to bullying is helplessness. Kids who feel unempowered are less likely to resist bullying in constructive ways and are more likely to participate in bullying themselves. Empowering your child can be as simple as cultivating an awareness of your support. Children who know they are supported are more likely to have the confidence to walk away from a confrontation, take the matter to an adult they trust or even firmly tell a bully to stop. And children who feel empowered are also less likely to victimise others simply because they don’t feel the need.

Speak out

If your child is being bullied, speak out. Arrange a meeting with the appropriate staff at your school. This could be your child’s class teacher, a grade or phase head, or other staff involved in the school’s disciplinary processes. Engaging with these people is the key to finding ways to counter the conditions that lead to bullying. It can be as simple as keeping two kids from interacting or require a more complex approach involving considered management of interactions.

Children act out when they feel like they are powerless, invalidated and not cared for. One of the most powerful tools at your disposal against bullying is your ability to make them feel loved, while also teaching them responsibility. A child who masters responsibility happy in the knowledge that their parents love them deeply is unlikely to ever feel the need to victimise others.