By Jan de Lange

Racism can be an exceptionally challenging topic of discussion. As a white male I am acutely aware of this reality and have often found these discussions quite uncomfortable. With views on the subject as diverse as the population itself, navigating this discussion can be a minefield. While each family will deal with the subject in their own way, studies suggest that addressing this early on is best.

When do children notice race?

Children start to notice racial differences as early as six months. At this age, a baby’s brain starts identifying physical traits – including skin colour – and associating these with what it will later learn to be race. Between ages two and four, children can already internalise racial bias, treating people of different races differently. By age twelve most kids have established many of their beliefs as truth. This is not necessarily the result of consciously biased parenting. Children absorb these biases the same way they absorb language. As a result, even the children of parents who have shown themselves completely neutral on issues of race might find themselves exhibiting racial biases observed in broader society.

How do I address racial bias?

The first and most important strategy to address racial bias is by example. While many parents do make an effort to avoid showing overt bias to other racial groups, actively dealing with bias sends a much more powerful message. It can be very valuable to consider what kind of biases you yourself might have. Addressing these in a visible way in yourself first already goes a long way toward imparting the importance of dealing with and trying to avoid racial bias to your children.

Discussing the topic can also make a huge difference. Being honest in these conversations is key. You don’t have to try and feign perfection. Taking responsibility for your biases does not mean you are to blame for them, and it’s important that your kids know this. This knowledge is very helpful in that it enables us and our children to address bias in an honest way without teaching them to be ashamed of themselves.

Celebrate diversity

Introducing your child to the reality that the world is a wonderfully diverse place can be a beautiful and enriching experience for you and them. The sheer variety of cultures, music, art, literature, stories, food and life of other ethnicities and their cultures gives your kids the opportunity to address bias and learn about the world while gaining a wealth of experiences from outside. In a world that is becoming more interconnected by the day, this knowledge doesn’t only deal with bias but will also open a world of more nuanced interactions for your child.

Values

Addressing bias and the racism it can become is a lifelong journey. The fact is that most kids have the internal compass to steer them away from prejudice. But instilling values of equality, kindness, dignity and respect for all will give them a North Star to follow when eventually and inevitably the lines get blurred.

The United Nations Organization for Children (UNICEF) has shared some great ideas on how to talk to your children about race, according to their age.