Love babies, but not ready for a baby right away

As promised, I am back. I met with Dr. Trouw a few days back. It took around 3 months to get an appointment, and I must say it was well worth the wait. Felt very comfortable as he was very gentle and soft-spoken, and I left the hospital feeling like I was in very good hands. After performing a pelvic scan he confirmed that I definitely have PCOS. DH and I have decided to wait for a couple of months more before TTC, so I am back on the pill till then (not Diane 35 as I went through terrible depression while on it. Going to try a new pill named Zoely and check out how I do on it). Hopefully I will be back again on Moomie in a few months to document my TTC journey! Good luck to everyone suffering from PCOS, I am sure it is hard to come into terms with it. I often find myself living in denial, but meeting with a gynaec really made me feel like help is available and in some way helped me think that it is not too bad .

Hi SwartKat and Meisiekind,

Thank you so, so much for your replies. Reading both your messages made me feel like I am not alone in this situation. I am sorry that I couldn't reply sooner.

The doctor I met is a family friend who has been practicing for the past 45 years. So she is quite conservative/old fashioned, and not too keen on suggesting a drug intensive route which I may have to resort to once I get to 28+ years of age in order to conceive successfully in her opinion. My right ovary, from what I have understood, is only borderline polycystic with 10 follicles and the largest one measuring 15 mm. She said that it is a good sign but it may deteriorate as the months pass by. I am thinking of booking an appointment with Dr. Trouw at Pretoria East Hospital as I have read very good things about him here; although I have heard his waiting list is quite long.

The OCP that I am on- Diane 35, has definitely started working its magic on my skin. My spots have reduced considerably! Almost 30% clearer in just two weeks. However, it also makes me very nauseous some time during midday. I don't care about the nausea for now, as I am hoping it will settle down in another week or two.

Reading both your messages gives me hope and makes me feel like I can be in control of the situation. I will definitely come back and post updates in case there are other readers out there who can relate to this. Thank you once again

Hi MsT123

Welcome to Moomie!

Just like SwartKat, I'm in no way a medical expert, however I would like to think that I've learnt a thing or two over the past 2 years of TTC.

I too have PCOS. Always expected it (since I rarely get my period) but was officially diagnosed late 2013. Unlike SwartKat, I haven't been so fortunate to walk the short road to getting pregnant. After 18 months of Fertomid, we started doing IUI end of March this year. Long story short, after 2 IUIs and also 1 that was cancelled due to over stimulation, we're still not any closer to becoming preggies.

Some people with PCOS are almost not impacted by it at all, while others walk a long road. You'll only know once you try. Perhaps this is the reason why your doctor wants you start sooner rather than later.

That said, I also believe that giving a 27 year old such a deadline doesn't sound right. If you were in your early 30's already it would have been a different story. But you're not. In my mind you still have plenty of time.

Also, what bothers me is that she wants to prescribe Metformin despite your normal blood glucose levels. Doesn't make sense. I could ramble on, but the short version is that I believe you should get a 2nd opinion of someone knowledgable in this field. From my personal experience I can honestly say that my Fertility Specialist is so much more knowledgable compared to my normal gynae. So I'd really recommend finding a good fertility specialist for a 2nd opinion.

A fertility specialist may want to more tests to see whats going on. I had a laparoscopy done earlier this year to check that my tubes were open etc. and it was only then that my FS diagnosed me with endometriosis (fortunately not very bad and he removed it at the time). So perhaps an FS can shed more light on your initial problem (the clots and so on). Also, as SwartKat said, there are options such as IUI and IVF for people with fertility issues and an FS would be the best person to advise you on that and tell you when it would be time to start looking at those options and which ones are more suited for your case.

With regards to diet, I've learned not to trust most medical professionals on this topic, since they have been indoctrined into thinking a certain way. What's important to me is eating proper home cooked food. Avoid processed and oily/greasy food. However a bit of proper animal fat can only do you good in my opinion. There are many similar diets out there that aim to get you healthy by controlling the ups and downs of your blood sugar and I still believe that is the key to success. How they attempt to do it differs, so you're going to have to make up your on mind on that one. These are my 3 favourites although I do not strictly adhere to any of these in particular:
1) Low carb high fat (Banting / "Tim Noakes" diet)
2) Paleo diet (similar to Banting but there are differences)
3) Low GL diet (some books by Patrick Holford comes to mind)

Excercise can only be good for you, although I have to admit that I haven't done that in years.

With regards to your skin (and hormones), I'm not familiar with Diane, but I can say that my own skin was beautiful once my normal gynae prescribed Yaz to me. I would consider using it again.

Lastly, on motherhood. Despite the PCOS I miraculously fell pregenant with my son when I was 30 (married for little over 2 years at the time) without us even trying for a baby (I wasn't even getting my periods at the time, so what are the odds of conceiving). In some ways I never felt ready for it and would always think that there were more things should have been planned and in place before we could have a child (I'm also a planner). But when I saw that positive pregnancy test, I knew that we were just going to have to wing it. And we did. It wasn't always easy and my son wasn't the easiest baby, but at least once you are pregnant, you have another 8 months to prepare yourself for your new life. So what I'm trying to say is that if you do decide to go ahead now, let go of the fear that often comes with this type of decision you have to make and just go for it. Decide that you are going to make it work.

And if you decide to wait some more, put it out of your mind for a while and don't keep on worrying about it.

I hope that in my ramblings you at least could find something of use to you.

Hope to see you around soon.

Hi MsT123,

Let me start by saying that I'm not in the medical profession, so my opinion is my own and not based on any sort of expert knowledge.

I have PCOS, it was first discovered when we actively started trying to have a baby and was fortunately picked up within the first 3 months. I had treatment (nothing serious, a bunch of pills basically) to help regulate my cycle and to make me ovulate. The initial diagnoses was scary for me, but as things worked out I was pregnant another 2 months later and had a healthy pregnancy. That was 2011/2012.

Last year we decided to start trying for #2. The PCOS is still there, so again I was treated for it, somewhat more aggressively this time as I was already 32 and fertility starts to decrease drastically after age 30. I was pregnant after the 3rd cycle of treatment.

PCOS is completely treatable in most cases, of all the infertility issues out there, PCOS is probably the best one to have (my apologies to anyone who's reading this and who disagrees, I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings). I find it rather strange that your doctor is putting pressure on you to fall pregnant, in June 2016 you'll only be 28/29? There are so many other alternatives to getting pregnant, IVF, for instance, why is the doctor pressuring you to fall pregnant when you clearly aren't ready? I just don't get the deadline, I'm afraid.

I'll agree that getting your body healthy is always a great idea, work at it because the benefits of being healthy will be with you in all avenues of your life. If it helps clear your skin up, good for you, that'll only help to improve your body image. But forcing yourself to get pregnant? Don't agree with that.

Again, I'm not a doc and we may not have all the facts here, but I just find it odd that a doctor will almost insist on a pregnancy that isn't necessarily wanted at this stage. And take it from me, I desperately wanted my 1st baby and was prepared for her in every single way, I still had terrible baby blues and difficulty adjusting to being a mom. How much worse for someone who isn't quite ready!

Hello Ladies:)

This is my first post here but I have been a long time reader of Moomie. I am a huge fan of mommy forums and blogs, and see it as a way to prep myself for the future when I will have a baby of my own. You see, I absolutely love children and being a type A character planning is what I love to do when I have some free time! However, this never meant that I want to have kids right away. I am turning 27 this year and only been married for 18 months. My husband and I are still settling in and prepping ourselves and our environment so that we can comfortably welcome a baby sometime after a year or two, or even in my early 30's when I feel I will be more secure financially and emotionally.

I felt like all my dreams came crashing down when I went for a gynaec checkup last month as I was consistently passing clots during my period, and I had some stubborn acne on my face. She said she is worried about my acne and clots, but since my period always arrives on time it may be nothing. Nevertheless, she sent me in for a scan. Scan results showed that I have polycystic ovaries. She asked me to control my diet and exercise daily. She put me on Diane 35 for 3 months for my acne. She said if it doesn't reduce by then, she can put me on it for another 3 months; but I will have to start trying for a baby after that whether my acne reduces or not. She said that if I don't conceive by July 2016, she will have me on Metformin or other hormone treatments, even though my blood glucose levels are normal right now.

I don't know from where to start this process. My husband and I always eat simple home-cooked meals, although we eat out once a week. The doc asked me to avoid animal fat and eat more fish and veggies. She also asked me to start exercising, which is something I can definitely work on as it has been months since I last worked out. I am planning to start with some beginner's yoga at home and slowly build my way up. I have a BMI of 23, but most of my body-fat is around my mid-section which is not ideal.

All of the above can be managed if I put in some real work. But what scares me the most is the deadline which my gynaec gave me: July 2016. I am not sure if I am ready to be pregnant this year. I have 1000s of things to do in my list, and they seem more important to me now after being informed about my PCOS. I don't want to have a baby out of fear that I may not be able to conceive easily. I guess I just feel alone in my struggle. Everyone is giving me a list of things to do, to eat, to read . This is really overwhelming.

Are there any moms or mom-to-be's or mommy hopefuls like myself who have been diagnosed with PCOS but held off having a baby for a few years, and were able to successfully conceive? In other words, do you ladies think I should try to take control of the situation or should I accept the reality and start trying for a baby without wasting any more time just in case I may not conceive at all ?