What RULES do you have for your preschool child

thats why i love moomie. we were all raised differently and we believe that the way we were raised is the correct way, but there are so many other ways and on moomie i get to learn those.

I don't believe in asking a child the following: Will you pluease go and pick up your toys? this is giving them the option of saying no and then you have to accept it.

Amandalynn please go and clean your play room, i will come and pick up everything your sister played with and help you when I'm done. this is the sentence I use everyday!!!!

I think you are doing a good job then but we can never be 100% right and as parents we will make mistakes sometimes but I think you are on the right track.

Charlotte Neil and I were talking the other day about how we dicipline. He made a good point. We say no far too often instead of explaining why we don't like his behaviour. Don't get me wrong Dylan has had a smack here and there. We are not angels either.

We decided to do try to be positive. I know from chatting here and in business that you can say almost anything to someone even something which would be hard for the other to hear. It isn't what we say it is the way we say it. Eg instead of saying clean your room or however you say it you could say it would make mommy's heart happy if you could help me clean your room.

Neil told Dylan to pick up the dvd's the other day. Dylan ignored him and Neil got cross. I waited a mintue or two and went to Dylan and asked him to please pick up the barney dvd and put it in the drawer and he did it with a smile.

I guess we need to ask not demand them to do things. I know they are children and we are adults and I do not believe in treating a kid as an adult at all, but I do think that we need to think about how we would feel if someone asked us to do something in an authoritive tone or shouted at us compared to how we feel when someone asks us nicely to do things.

We are going to have positive days when dylan is older. We all get x number of armbands and when one of us catches the other being negative or rude we take an armband and see how things go. Just to try to bring awareness.

Amandalynn does get praised a lot, every time she does something that she was suppose to or that i asked her.

oh and i dont believe she needs to get rewarded to pick up the toys she plays with, atleast not everyday. she needs to be responsible fo rher things. dont do star charts, have tried them, but Amandalynn tends to use them as a colouring board.

Oh and her lunch box contains the following a sandwich, a yoghurt, water, juice and 4 sweets (mostly those little ones). they have a 10:00 & 15:00 lunch box time at school.

If you really need to reward find some other things rather than food. Use stickers or stars like Julz suggested.

I always allow my kids to leave their food unfinished because I also do that. I use words of affirmation to encourage my kids.

its amazing what "you are such a good girl, so clever and I love you my angel" can do to a child and their outlook on life.

julzdylan wrote:

I agree that even young children need responsiblity and actually like it but i don't agree with the food issue. We as adults don't always feel like eating all our food and I think kids feel the same way. Some days they eat well other days not. I don't think it is due to them eating badly during the day and the daycare shouldn't be giving sweets anyway.

Eating issues in children do create eating issues in adulthood. Children who were forced to eat all their food either overeat or later use it as a means of control by not eating or controlling what enters the body because they can.

There are two ways of teaching your child right from wrong. You can encourage in a positive way (like cleaning the room for eg. If she cleans her room she gets a star. 10 stars and you will take her for a picnic) or you can dicipline her in a negative way.

I have found with my strong willed 2 year old that positive methods have better rewards. Don't talk at your child. Talk to your child but be firm and make them aware of what you will tolerate and what you wont tolerate.

You asked if I think you are being harsh and I think you are. Not by what you expect, but by how you handle it.

Just need to mention that she does not have to eat everything, some things she does not like and i expect her to at least try, also meat, potato and rice she does not have to eat if she doesn't want to but she must finish her veggies. i have taught her to eat her veggies first and then anything else.

i appreciate your reaction, and i also appreciate you being honest. what would you change and how.

i don't feel that i'm harsh, but sometimes you need an outsider opinion.