baby replaced sex

bonga thank you for your opinion from the other side.......

i think my hubby understands my emotions but he also gets to a point now lately where he want to be first and his needs must also be on the priotity list.

ladies my friend is using thanda drops from feelgood/naturebaby products to assist with the lack of libido.
has anyone use this product yet.
really concidering to get some drops as back-up

thanks Bonga a male perspective does make a difference

Thanks, i read the last blog it was really helpful

I had the same challenge with my wife after our daughter was born. She partly claimed that she is scared she will fall pregnant too soon, sometime she was just not into it and whole lot more. She was breastfeeding a a time. However, the amount of time I spent with her and trying to show her I understand I think made her to be at ease. It changed as the LO grew and eventually went to an even higher level,lol.

Hey Kyle

I think what you are feeling is totally normal and well within range. we have had several of these conversations on Moomie and the most recent thread is here incase you want to go and look and see that several moms feel the same as you.

www.moomie.co.za/forum/13-ladies-corner/...ddh-after-birth.html

Once baby comes along we definitely find that we shift - suddenly who we were and who we are becomes an issue. Our partners tend to stand there and look confused because they are going "but I am the same guy!"

The problem is we are not the same girl, and that can be problematic for our partners.

As said earlier it could be hormonal, and it has only been 3 months. There is a lot of pressure on us to just bounce back to being skinny and sexual after a baby is born.

Somehow this theory of 6 weeks seems to be the mark - because then it appears your OBGYN has checked you out and you are all healthy. But the OBGYN has not looked inside your head and seen what is going on in there.

Take your time, do not put yourself under more pressure than you are already under.

Accept that you have changed - your attention is focussed on someone else and who you are in the world has shifted which also has an affect on you.

Try and have a candid conversation with your partner - without using the phrase "It is not you it is me" - explain how you are struggling, how tired you are, how this baby has changed who you are, and how you are struggling with it all.

Explain that it has also changed the way that you see him as well - he needs to be patient as you will get there - and you cannot promise if it is in a week or a month or a year. But if he loves you and cares for you, he will be patient, wait and support you.

If he continues to press you - then you need to give that some thoughts as well, as to how important his needs are above what you need right now.

We feel for you Kyle - we have been there, are there, live in that world too!

Stella is hiding herself from me too lol, it's reassuring to know i aint alone. I feel bad at times coz my man tends to think that maybe its his fault or something like that i am struggling to make him understand "its not you its me" this line tends to make him feel uneasy, i dont know what to sat anymore

kyle17 girlfriend my lb turn one this week and i am still looking for stella.
i am just to tired , he wakes 2-3 times at night and i only settle and get to bed 10-30 or 11pm. then i beyond tired so the moment am out like a baby.

so your feeling is totally normal ......