What makes a happy, healthy child?

That is so so true gloeiwurmpie.

I can happily say that we fall into the happily married & loving category.

It is definitely important that your child sees that both parents love each other & the way they talk to each other....

I can't wait to go & buy those books you mentioned.

Just another thought about the original question:

In the one book I read about children who come from dysfunctional homes, the question was asked about what "makes" and "breaks" a child. The writer explained that the most common situation that damages a child is parents who are unhappily married or in a constant state of fighting portraying an unhealthy relationship.
There are lots of other factors that could be listed as well, but the writer said that through his years of therapy with children from dysfunctional homes, the parents were not happily married or in a stable loving relationship.

I don't think the writer implies that all children from divorced families are doomed and can't be happy balanced children, it just points out the value of parents being happy in their relationship together as partners and the benefits it has on their children.

Happy home = happy child. I guess this is why the cliche of "older" people saying that you shouldn't neglect your own relationship with your partner is so important. It is so easy to make your whole life revolve around your children, that one might neglect the one relationship that is actually more important than others, because if this relationship is not healthy, all other relationships with your children might suffer as well.

No!! absolutely not. I think you can even start using these techniques with a teenager, although you would approach it differently.

Your child might suspect a "change of plan" or that you are behaving differently towards him/her, and might be a bit "freaked out" for a while or sceptic, but if they realise that the change is good, then I believe it will be well received.

I think it is vital that both parents are on the same page, so I had to give my husband the "summary" of my readings and explain to him why I think this approach works. He finds it very interesting and also feels we should work together as a team and not against each other with our parenting styles.

So much reading to catch up on

So you don't think it's too late to start inforcing these guidelines from the books??

The five love languages is facinating and you can do it with your partner too.

The first 2 books are very similiar. The writers of the second book said that they "trained" under the writer of the first book, therefore they follow the same priniciples. If you don't want to read both, I would recomend the second one rather, as it is an eloboration with good examples of the first book, although both are very good.

I am halfway with the third book and It is a bit of a slow read since the writer almost mentions every different type of play therapy that he ever practised with children. It's great to read, but it doesn't read as fast as the other 2 books. It is defnitely an eye opener to use fun and play as a form of dicipline. It has some really nice tools to help you build a close bond with your child. This is really revolutionising stuff!!!

I still want to read the 5 languages of love (or something like that).

I do not regret reading any of these books as I feel much better equiped to what "makes" and "breakes" a child. The real trick now is to enforce it correctly!!!

Thank you gloeiwurmpie. I will definitely start with the one & work my way down