Milou, I also find the method of schooling a bit past what I recall it being.
My son is not taught to "sound" out words to figure out a word, like we were taught to do - however I have noticed that they learn to recognise the words.
So the entire system is very different to what I was exposed to.
I can't really comment on the writing issue as I have not really experienced it that way.
I do get that kids are "allowed" to write the way they want at a young age, and as time goes by they are "encouraged" to write in a main stream way.
Incorrect gripping of writing instruments and incorrect letter shaping is not wrong, but it makes a child's hand tired, and then they fall behind in the work.
So my experience has been a focus on kids writing and shaping letters the correct way.
However that being said my daughter writes one of her letters in her name back to front, and we have left it, because she is still learning.