Agressive behaviour in children

Thanks for the info. I will definitely look into some of these things because my little one bites and it's getting too much!!!!

Aggressive behaviour at an early age can lead to problems later on. All children need a certain level of aggression. Without it they are likely to become targets for other children. If your child gets angry from time to time it is nothing to worry about either. After all we all get worked up now and then. Anger and aggression start to become problems when a child attacks another child or adult. This is likely to be shown
by biting and hitting. There are three main causes of aggression in children. These are frustration, attention seeking and being territorial.
Frustration can have a number of triggers. For example it can be caused when a child has been told it is time to stop playing, to carry out an activity they do not wish to do or when they cannot have something they want.
Likewise there can be different triggers for attention seeking. An example of this is if there is a younger
sibling and the older child perceives the younger one is getting more attention then they are. The older attention may become aggressive in order to grab your attention if it reaches the stage where they would rather be told off by you than ignored. This is sometimes referred to as negative attention seeking.
Children with aggressive behaviour constitute one of the most common and difficult challenges for parents, particularly for young parents. To work on this issue it is crucial that parents have developed a relationship (with the child) based on solid communication and trust.
Parents must be willing to take a step back from the situation and view their child’s behaviour in context. What is unacceptable behaviour to a parent may seem logical and appropriate to a child. The key to helping a child manage their own behaviour is to teach them realistic, constructive alternatives to the behaviour habits they have already developed.
A child with consistently aggressive behaviour may be taught how to identify when they are feeling angry and then learn strategies to apply in such situations. Children, for example, may be taught to count-to-ten, take deep breaths, run around the oval or visualise a peaceful scene. Children should not be discouraged from feeling angry but rather taught how to deal appropriately with anger when it arises.
Many acts of aggression are simply acts to get attention. It is best to ignore most misbehaviour; however, this is not wise with aggression.
Children are often simply exploring cause and effect- particularly their own power to cause reactions in the world around them. This is a wonderful path of exploration, but needs to be simply redirected down the proper path, not discouraged. Encourage
them to hit a play nail with a play hammer, instead of hitting their sister. Encourage them to give a kiss instead of a bite. Show them that they do have the power to get your attention, but by doing good things, not by misbehaving. With this approach, kids will be able to resolve a lot of their problems and aggression will diminish.
For very serious problems, counselling may be necessary to deal with the difficult emotions they are facing.
The earlier the problems are identified and handled, the sooner they will be resolved.
To help you overcome the problems of aggression in a child here are some top tips:
1. Watch for triggers
Try and work out if there are triggers that regularly cause aggressive behaviour. It can be as simple as children
regularly arguing and becoming aggressive over what television program to watch.
2. Be careful how you react
If you react to any problems in the home by shouting or hitting out, your children will learn from you that this is acceptable behaviour at stressful times. Therefore if they are in a situation that they find frustrating they are likely to react in a similar, aggressive manner. Set an example for them. Acknowledge his anger, as it is often attention seeking behaviour.
3. Discuss appropriate and in appropriate behaviour
If you have had a hard day, wait until there is a period of calm and discuss your child's actions with them in a peaceful way. Explain to them the likely results of their actions.
4. Give attention and show affection
All children need attention and affection. This is especially true for older children with younger siblings.
5. Monitor TV programs and play
Although the effect of television on children can be overstated there could be a link between your child's aggression and what they watch on television. In a similar way take note of the type of games your child tends to play. If they play lots of games with toy guns and swords it may be a good idea to try to change the balance of their play and introduce a number of calmer pursuits as well.
6. Give warning time
Most children get frustrated and can show aggression if they are busy playing and you suddenly tell them it is time to go. Although it is not always possible try to give them warning that it is nearly time to stop playing.
7. Provide alternative toys and stimulus
If you sense a child is getting board or frustrated with what they are doing be ready to suggest trying something different.
8. Encourage a child to discuss problems
The more you talk to a child the easier they will find it to establish their own vocabulary and be able to express their frustrations verbally. In quiet periods explain to your child how they can resolve their differences through discussion and negotiation rather than through hitting out.
9. Praise good behaviour
If you have taken your child somewhere and they have behaved well or if they have had a good day at home then praise them. This will make your child feel good and want to behave in a positive manner more often.

This information sheet has been adapted and issued by:
TraumaCare, Box 1807, Magaliesview, Gauteng, 2067
www.traumacare.co.za * mail@traumacare.co.za * Tel: 071 592 9690
Play Therapy * Counselling * Trauma Counselling
Please note that this information must not be used for diagnostic purposes.