Frustrated with In-laws

Pixels,

He doesn't like it either, but when you confront his brother about it he just says he isn't used to flimsy girls. As if I am flimsy. Plus he does have a sister and doesn't treat her like that.

Although after the last visit he had everybody in his family upset and rather angry with him, so the hubby made it clear that if there is trouble this time around there would be hell to pay.

But I mean, it still worries me, because I don't like being the source of fighting. I understand if he does not approve of my religion, or culture, but its called respect and tolerance!

My word ladypandora,you know wat they say"there is a thin line btwn love and hate"i think he has a thing for you,he is acting like a teenage boy,who has a crush on a girl and he is afraid to tell her,the rest of the ai-laws adores you,what is his real reason for being such a pain,dus he feel ur not gud enough for his brother??then y cum to the birth of ur angel,he's got issues,big time,if u dont want him there,tell him,you dont want negative energy around wen ur baba is born,it's aida he behaves,or stays away,gud luck mommy.

Just tell us which hospital and we'll send the troops

Seriously, maybe just ask them to not come to the hospital then?

Or tell the nurses in the maternity ward not to let him in They could say that you need to rest & can't have any visitors other than DH & your parents....

Does your DH even notice the abuse? Sorry to ask but I know that for some men this would seem natural (sorry to be generalising but I've seen this happen )

Le-Andre, I am not the type to be pushed around in general. I worked with horses and I am quite used to giving a stallion a smack that causes him to see stars if he steps out of line, but I mean, beating the living daylights out of his brother is not exactly something I want to do.

With us the problem is that we stay in the garden flat on my parents property. I actually love it, because my mum is extremely understanding and knows that every now and then I do need a hand. Like last night, I was sick as a dog, and she sneaked two plates of dinner to the hubby through the window so my stepdad wouldn't notice.

I also don't mind the mum and dad in law or his younger brother and sister, they are supportive, understanding and really amazing. But I do not have the patience for a rude, selfish childish person taking his issues out on me. I can just think of the disaster it would cause if he visits me in the hospital after I pushed out a child the size of a watermelon, and even looks at me funny....on a positive note, he would at least be a two minute walk away from the ICU with nurses on standby.

Wow so sorry to hear about your trouble. I hav eno advcie though.... I am shocked to hear about the ohysical abuse you had to endure... What does your husband say about it?

Ladypandora

Tell them to bugger off. It's your time to be happy and bonding as a family.

My family and Dh's is the "meddling type".

Hence, we live in Gauteng and both families in Cape Town.

On a seroius note: I did not have anyone that was physically abusive but DH & I made a pact that we need to find our feet when Joshua arrives. We very politely informed the families not to visit for the first six weeks as we wanted family bonding time with Joshua.
Yes, we said as is. We were honest. Some were pissed, some rude, some emotional etc, etc.... But they got over it.

Needless to say that was the best decision we made for our family 'cos when the visits started we had our own strict"Rules/Opinions/Ideas" of how we wanted to raise Joshua.

They got the picture that we will listen to advice but that doesn't mean that we'll follow suit

As for the physical abuse: What does DH say? He should punch that brother of his so that he knows never to touch his wife again.
Or maybe some of us moomies could step in, whne we're having an off day to sort out you Brother in law.

That is so not on
I wouldn't let that man in my house again. But that's just me

I am sure I am not the only one experiencing this problem.

I have the most amazing in-laws you can imagine...except for my husband's older brother. He has been against me since the day he met me and has not been too shy about making my life and all our experiences together hell. From dating, to getting engaged, to the wedding and oh my gosh the tantrum when he found out I was 4 months pregnant after the wedding.

Apparently the husband is bringing demons into the family and our house for marrying me. Nice to know I am that bad.

I was absolutely delighted when they moved faaar away to Cape Town. First thing I did was to totally cut them out of my life, as I could not stand the negative energy connected with him. Sadly I am mad about his wife.

Now he phoned very impressed with himself, to inform us they are coming down for the birth of our child. This after he has made my life hell, treated me poorly, and showed no respect to me, even after I was pregnant. Just before December they were visiting, and he was just as physically abusive to me as before. At one stage he ran full speed and jumped onto me with his full body weight, right on my tummy. He is not the smallest person in the least. Another time in that same week he plainly pushed me out of the way very roughly to greet my husband. His wife may think treatment like this is all right, but I do not think it is polite or respectful.

So now I have gone from being very excited but terrified of having my son, to totally dreading the day. I just know he will go out of his way to spoil the day for me, and I absolutely hate it.

So how do I tell them to bugger off and leave me alone without offending the whole family? I have been polite, I have been rude, nothing works and I am at wits end and about to consider sabotaging a plane or poisoning somebody.