Meeting of new sibling

Hi,
My daughter was 4 years old when our second lg was born. So she handled it like a champ. She got to leave with her papa, her grandparents were visiting and everyone was giving her all the attention.
Not so long ago I was admitted to hospital and stayed there for 5 days. Mathilde who was 2 and a half at the time took it really bad. The first day they came to visit, she was fine asking all the questions, watching dvd's but when the time came to leave, she was not happy at all. She cried and shouted, something she has never done. I heard her all the time until they disappeared into the lift - it broke my heart.
After their lunch, they came back. And again time to leave was not easy.
My hubby brought them in every day and they went home just to eat and bath. She wanted to be with me. So those 5 days we all practically lived in the hospital room.
After that she didn't want to go out with anyone, only me and always wanted me to be with her. I'd be outside hanging out the washing and she'd be shouting mama, mama so I'd pop my head in and say 'I'm here' she'd look relieved and answer 'oh i thought you were in hospital!' My poor baba. Now she's back to her normal self but if she starts talking about hospitals, she gets all teary and reminds me how she brought me a pear. I remind her about all the 'good' things we done there. Watching dvds on the bed that moves, going to the vending machine and getting whatever she fancied. Eating my delicious - no really they were- fresh fruit salads with strawberries, blueberries, kiwi and pineapple. Stickers from the nurses.
Some kids take it well but some, like mine, not so well. Younger ones especially.

I also opted not to let Brandon come to the hospital when I had Liam. It is more traumatic for them than we realise - mommy is in bed, she can't get up to give a cuddle or pick you up, you are not allowed to climb all over her and then there is this little thing in her arms where you belong - these are just some things your elder child might be thinking.
And often with a c-section you have drips in your arms which is pretty scary for a 2 year old, nurses don't respect your privacy and can stroll in to take your vitals in front of the child and that is also kinda scary

Brandon was 22 months old when Liam was born and stayed home with my mom while I was in hospital. And when I came home he was awe struck by his little brother - I still get a lump in my throat when I think about how sweet he was - and the bond is still there, almost 4 years later

Someone gave me awesome advice when I was about to have my little girl...don't bring the older one to the hospital. She said it's too confusing for them. They don't understand why you can't come home with them. So that's what we did and it worked wonderfully. He went and stayed with granny the whole time, so he didn't even know I was gone. My son only met his sister when I came home. That's when he got his little gift from her. We made a big deal about him coming home then. It was fantastic.

Of course, I missed him but it was also nice to have those few days to bond with the new baby.

So, if you can, I would say let her only meet the new arrival when you come home, or alternatively, come to the hospital the day you're going home and bring the baby home with you.

Thanks - that was my original plan. Maybe I should just stick to it.

Hi Lientjie,

I am only 35 weeks now, but last week I was in hospital for 4 days with a UTI. DH vrought our baby girl (20 months) to see me. She was so busy and all over the place and me. When the time came to leave she screamed "come mommy come" and cried.
I spoke to a midwife friend of mine and she agreed- let her only come see baby and me once while I am in hospital and only the day after when everything has been removed like you say. She says it must be a short 5 minutes with me before baby is brought in to meet her. They can "swap" presents and then she should go. To make it less traumatic for her.

Remember that at this age they dont totally have a concept of time- so we will be away for 3 nights but they wont know that.

So I plan to do the above.

Hi Ladies

I've always thought I wanted my LG (who is 2) to only come meet her new sibling the day after my c-sec, when the catheter has been removed, I've had a shower, etc. BUT know I'm wondering if she shouldn't come asap just to see that I am ok, where I am etc.

What were your experiences? Any thoughts or advice?

Thx