Ex-Pampers: Muslim Mummys

Hi all,
Just popped in to say hi. After we got the wonderful news of our green cards we got a call that my MIL passed away. Hubby is still in shock but trying to get on with life. I don't know the feeling of losing a mum so its very difficult to relate to his emotions. It must be tough for him and I am trying to support him as much as possible. My daughter and I couldn't get our India visas in time for the mayyit and when we finally got it after such a mission at the consulate, they stamped it stating that we cannot enter again within 60 days. We were meant to fly to Mumbai on the 25th for my sis in laws daughters wedding. So now we will go as originally planned but add on a few days after the wedding to spend time with the family.

Anni, congrats on getting your green cards approved! I'm not sure how expensive it would be to do a birth here without health insurance, but thankfully we are on quite a comprehensive plan (which cost a fortune but which my university required us to take out before enrollment), so everything related to prenatal care and the birth is covered, 18 weeks and I haven't had to pay a cent yet.

I went last night for a tour of one of the birthing centers I found here, tomorrow night we're going to another one to take a look. I really like the one we went to last night (in terms of their policies), but I have a few issues with it (they only let you stay 12hours after giving birth, they automatically transfer you to the hospital if there's meuconium in your water and...this is a bit picky... but I really don't like their kitsch decor - I can't imagine being comfortable there!). We'll see how the next one goes. I was showing hubby pics of genesis last night, lol, to show him what kind of rooms I really would like to birth in!


I'm going to download the BOBB set from their website, will let you know once I've seen it.

I've also started the raspberry leaf tea. One of the other ladies on the forum started a thread on the benefits of it a few months ago.

Firefly I did so much of research on birthing options in USA and just decided its best to go home and have this little munchkin. Its very different and expensive from what I have seen especially with no insurance plus we won't be settled in as yet. I do have had a cousin who has given birth there. She spoke to me about medicaid or medicare or something like that? She said it didn't cost her a cent. I'm just not sure if I will get an intervention free birth there though and I again won't have family when I have the baby.

It would be much easier with documentation etc if I had him in US since he would automatically qualify for citizenship but we all will have our green cards dated at the same time and it will take 5 years for all of us in any case. Btw... our green cards were approved on Thursday evening! Our heads were just spinning with excitement when we got the news.

You must see BBOB. Its really an eye opener. I do hope you get to have a great birthing experience. I'm sure you will find a place in your state that has an active birthing unit with midwives. The trick is to have an intervention free birth. Wish I had known that before my daughter. And gravity IS your friend! Laying on a bed having a baby just doesn't make any sense at all. Easier for the OB/GYN for medical procedures I guess? Who invented that I wonder? The Farm is mentioned in BBOB. I have the book on my list of buy's off Amazon as well. Have you been watching One Born Every Minute? DH says I should stop watching all these birth programs and videos! Haha... he can't manage seeing them. I don't know whether he will be any help in labour now? He was in shock when they pulled DD out. Just sat there mouth gaping and camera in hand. Don't know what he would do if I had the next one naturally!

I have already started research into hypnobirthing/hypnobabies. I am already more inclined to the hypnobabies concept and will probably order the course from Amazon soon.

Another thing, the ladies here should look up the benefits of Raspberry Leaf Tea. I understand it helps with 2nd stage labour. I've already started drinking just one cup a day now in the 2nd trimester.

And lastly... don't forget to do your kegels.

Funny Anni, my family and in-laws are from the same area!

I must say that I've been finding it a little difficult figuring out the medical system here - it's really different from home. I'm not surprised you had difficulty finding something like Genesis in the US. I'm currently with a group of doctors who are attached to my university (my university is pretty massive and has its own health plan and medical center and specialists) but I've always wanted to do a natural birth with as little intervention as possible and I know that I'm not going to get that with the doctors I'm with - what makes me more uneasy is that they're a group practice and they take turns being on call so you don't know which of the 7 doctors will be on call to deliver your baby!

I've found two birthing centers near me though that seem similar to Genesis. Hubby and I have booked to tour them both early next week and then I plan to move to midwife care as soon I've done the 18 week ultrasound (I get the impression that the midwives don't really do ultrasounds here). I was a bit shocked at how exclusive they seem to be - when I asked the nurse at the doctors practice about midwives she basically told me that I had to choose a midwife or doctor and that I couldn't have both! So if I move over to the midwives, they will hand over my files and I won't be able to access the doctors office anymore.

I have actually been meaning to get hold of the Business of Being Born - I've heard a lot about it. Anni, if you haven't already, you should read Ina May's Guide to Childbirth. Her main focus is on natural birth but she does talk about vbacs too (Wafeeqah, this may be of interest to you too). This book has the most amazing natural birth stories . After reading her book I had half a mind to pack up and go have my baby at The Farm - which is her midwife clinic in the middle of the bundus here in the USA.

Also, while I'm on this natural birthing spiel (sorry to everyone else not interested in this!), have you considered hypnobirthing? I discovered it from this forum and would have done it if I was in SA. Now that I'm in the US I've decided to do hypnobabies instead (www.hypnobabies.com/). I'm doing the self-study (you just order and they post to you) because there isn't a class in my area, but I am LOVING it. It is just so positive about the birthing process, actually makes me look forward to it! :)

Slms ladies,

Congrats Lagarbah. Well done! I wish I could have the energy to do what you just did! I couldn't even manage 30 minutes of exercise with only one. Not looking forward to juggling 2 and keeping my sanity.

Thanks again Firefly . I just received confirmation from Dr. Mia as my backup doc and one of the midwifes who is keen to take on my VBAC. My sister and mom live in Emmarentia and I have cousins who live in Forest Town and loads of family and friends all over in Mayfair, Houghton etc. Am thinking of renting a furnished 1 br apartment in the surrounding area though. Will be tough to stay at my sis for 4 whole months especially with a busy toddler.

Wafeeqah... all my research and info is in my head lol but I came across the baby and bump site where there is a sticky thread under the labour and birth section. Loads of info in one place which is great! The lady who started the thread had a successful VBAC and she has given so many links on that thread. In SA so many people really don't know about VBAC its so sad.

Firefly, I looked at options on having baby 2 in US but to find an active birth unit similar to genesis where you can have a successful midwife led birth is almost impossible. They all scared to get sued unfortunately. There is one called Brooklyn Birthing Center but they don't do VBAC's there. Apparently St. Lukes in Manhattan has a high VBAC success rate. I would suggest that you watch a documentary produced by Ricky Lake called the Business of Being Born. Loads of insight into birth in US. There is a new one called More BBOB which I want to see.

Congrats lagarbah!

lagarbah - Algamd we well...She is slowly adjusting to sharing the attention in the house but she is fine algamd...

Anni - send me info on what you have found out about VBAC to wafeeqahadams@yahoo.com