exclamation-circle Culture Shock

16 years 2 months ago #73644 by woo-woo
Replied by woo-woo on topic Re:Culture Shock
dh's dad didn';t even want to hold Ethan, he only starred and smiled at him.. ppl have their own ways of showing love i guess

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16 years 2 months ago #73567 by Desiree
Replied by Desiree on topic Re:Culture Shock
My hubby's family is also not very affectionate - his mom always seems rather "uncomfortable" around my little one, I know she loves him, but her body language is "odd". I make a special point to be very affectionate with my little Connor...I want him to grow up in a home where he knows he is loved & cared for, so I tell him " mommy loves you " all the time, so he can always remember those words! My hubby though, is even more affectionate than I am...so our little nugget will be growing up showered with love!!

My beautiful baby boy, Connor Troy, was born on 20 March 2010 and my 2nd gorgeous boy, Cullen Reece, was born on 2 September 2011 - I am very blessed indeed

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16 years 2 months ago #73552 by MissesMom
Replied by MissesMom on topic Re:Culture Shock
My DH's family is also not affectionate or loving at all. They didn't hug or kiss or anything untill I forced it into their lives. DH's mom didn't not oohh and aaww over him as a child, but does it overly so to my LO.

Our family is very affectionate, we hug, kiss, phone everyday etc.

Now MIL wants to know why her son doesn't just phone her because - and I told her because she never raised him that way, so she can't expect him to suddenly start now. Esp when he does phone the first thing they ask is "what do you want"

I'm raising my LO to be affectionate and loving :)

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16 years 2 months ago #73028 by PinkMommy
Replied by PinkMommy on topic Re:Culture Shock
Interesting Topic M.

DH and I were talking about it just the other day.

We visited with my childhood friend when we went to JHB. And noticed that neither her or her husband EVER touches their girls, no affection whatsoever. I made a joke with the one, telling her she must come give me a big hug and sit by me, cause I don't have my girls with me (they've been at their dad's this holiday) and I miss having a little body to cuddle. The poor child almost had heartfailure, stood like a statue, shocked...avoided the crazy aunty the rest of the time!

I fetched my girls for a few hours, and while we were there, my girls kissed and hugged me all the time, not leaving my side. Which was strange to my friend.

So families differ, maybe because of upbringing, but I do think you have a choice of what kind of parent you want to be.

Babies and kids who are cuddled and touched by their parents, have better selfesteem (read that somewhere)

My poor hubby had a shock when we got married...he is not a very affectionate person, but my kids kiss him bye and hallo and go sit with him, holds his hand and hug him often. He's now gotten used to our customs.

My girls are 10 and 12 and we kiss good night and good morning, and they forever hugging and kissing me and we always saying how much we love and appreciate each other.

It's the best feeling in the world!

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16 years 2 months ago #73011 by *Joli*
Replied by *Joli* on topic Re:Culture Shock
You girls must read that book - THE FIVE LOVE LANGUAGES OF KIDS - each person feels loved in a different way.

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16 years 2 months ago #73002 by lollipop
Replied by lollipop on topic Re:Culture Shock
Although my family kisses hallo and goodbey they are not very affectionate, and today I am uncomfortable with displays of affection.

So I kiss my son all the time, and tell him that I love him (TTTTTTTTTTTHHHHHHHHHHHHHIIIIIIIIIIIIISSSSSSSS)
much :)

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16 years 2 months ago #72832 by Naikza
Replied by Naikza on topic Re:Culture Shock
Hi

This is interesting cos i never really thought about it but with me being an only child my parents were never affectionate, no hugs or kisses or cuddles n not even told that i was loved. So one does not know whether they do in fact care n love you or not. With my son i make sure he knows he is loved, i tell him this every single day n he gets hugged n kissed n cuddled so he knows he is special n loved.

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