Difficult toddler

OMW I really thought that the terrible 2 will pass but now i think I am headed to the terrible 3.My Vuki will cry just for the fun of it and will make me lullaby her not by choice but by force she tells me that since she is crying I must rock her it pisses me off at times as now I am pregnant and always tired and I have her driving me up the wall.When she wants something she won't ask nicely,she will just cry when she wants to pee and I am busy and I ask DH she will say no I do not want daddy to take me to the loo so I have to quit whatever I am doing to entertain her silliness.She even lies she will cry when I am in the kitchen and she is in the living room with DH and when I ask what's wrong she will say that slapped her.When I wake her up for a bath during the week is a hassle but weekends she wakes up at 6:00 and demands cornflakes whilst I still need to rest when I say why don't you ask daddy she refuses To dress her is also a mission as she runs around and mind you I have to be on time for work as the bus will leave me behind.I tried scarring her off but it doesn't help.DH usually slaps her which I hate and we end up fighting and he thinks he is desciplining her and I tell him you are making the situation worse

Sometimes I hear him moaning on the monitor but then I wait, he just goes back to sleep almost immediately.

Last night he moaned a bit longer than usual, so I get up and go check. Low and behold, my child sits up in his cot and looks around in the room. I swear he can smell/sense me in the room.
Oh my i was so shocked that I stood behind his cupboard door for a couple of minutes, yes I actually opened the door to hide He must of thought WTF???? I know you're ther. He gave a smile said Mama, and he went straight back to sleep.

Needless to say I tip toed my way out of his room. He woke at 6am with this smirky grin as if to say" I know what you did last night"!

I also found that Joshua used to wake frequently during the night still not sure why though as we always thought he was hungry But then he'd refuse to drink the bottle and just wanted the comfort. Since Dec, I decided that we disturd him if we run at every little whim....
Up til now, he sleeps undisturbed from 8pm - 6am, sometimes later

Marijke thanks for the advice..I will print out your post and stick it unto her bedroom door for constant reference

Ok seriously now...why does all of your kids sleep fine? Am I the only one with a 19month-old that still sleeps like a 2week old baby???

At least now I know I'm not the only one struggling with a toddler that hates doing most of the normal routine stuff like changing nappy etc..

Shame Lata - I feel your pain.

I sometimes wonder why they cry to take a bath or cry when we change their nappies!!!
I have now resorted to taking a shower with her instead as she seems to like the drizzling water - but its rather difficult as I have to hold her slippery body, wash her and then try and wash myself. So last night I put the shower off and get out leaving her inside for me to quickly get the towel around myself. She gets hold of the soap and start rubbing her eyes!!!! Boy, did she scream and the more I try to wipe her eyes with water the more she rubbs the soap in. Shame, I felt sorry for her but she also did not give me chance to help her out.

At least she sleeps well at night. I put her down in her cot with her bottle and she falls asleep all by her self.

Motherhood must be the hardest thing I've ever done!! My sister in law is 28 weeks pregnant and so excited about her baby. And then I think to myself that she has no idea whats coming!! I just thank God it her and not me

@ Marilu an Chantal - i swear out kids could be triplets. OMG my daughter riles me up ... i can pull my hair out and just scream with her.

She screams and cries like im killing her ... my poor neighbours!!! To wash in the morning to change her nappy - she kicks me so hard on my boobs that i keep on saying stop it your hurting me. I finally have to pin her down to get the nappy on. then she screams to put on her clothes then she screams to comb her hair then she screams to put lotion on her face then she screams cos i put her down as i need to finish tidying her room before we elave. then she screams to take her scotts emulsion... then she screams as i make her walk to the car then she creams cos i am putting her in the car seat then she screams if i leave her as i forgot somethinga s my braisna re now so duermekaar from all her screaming. The moment i star the car she is quiet like a different child. At school she is an angel who listens and they have never heard her cry.

I pick her up and all is well in the world. The momnent we get home from the moment i unstrap her from the car seat ... terror of hell comes alive. The crying starts and doesnt stop. She cries by teh front door to be outside. I dont cook anymore when i get home as she doesnt give me a chance. And dare you give her dinner that she doesnt like for some reason - she makes herself throw up so she ends up eating the same thing the whole week. Then she cries to change again to bath. The crying doesnt stop till she has a bottle and goes to sleep. By then we are so tired and frustrated. I am going through wine like water

ok so im not the only one - i am so glad for that! Patience sometimes goes out the window sad i know ....

ok enough of my rant - as least the sleep training worked on my terror tot and i get some zzzzzzz's at night till teh next morning when it all starts again ....

Here's what I do (now because it might not work in 6 months time but I'll cross that bridge when I get to it)

When dealing with her I always try to stay super calm because when I tell her no in a calm yet stern way she usually listens better than when I'm yelling and screaming like an out of control bloodhound.

I'm not totally against a smack on the bum (sorry I know there is a nicer way to say that but you all know what I mean) but it DOES NOT work for my child. I did resort to that once but it just got out of hand so quickly and I feel guilty and next time she's frustrated she hits me. The reason why I know I can't go the hitting route is because for the life of me I am hitting out of frustration or anger and that makes her behaviour 10 times worse and the only thing she learns is that it's okay to hit when she's frustrated or angry. So I had to come up with something different for her. (this is for my child, if it works for you then super)

Here's what happens in my mind when we are heading towards a meltdown - I'm sure you all know that it can be spotted a mile away.

First I distract her, (not in a come here now! type of way but in a lets go find your doll emma! yay, drool smile slobber, kind of way) 7 out of 10 times that works fine. If it doesn't and she carries on I always quickly in my mind work out whether I don't want her to do what she is doing because she really can't or just because I don't want her to (she's going to make a mess, or I find it's too hot outside for me, whatever the situation is) If I find that the only reason she can't do something is because I'm being stubborn/lazy etc then I'll let her continue because I'm picking my battles here and I sit down and play with her and just spend time with her even if it's going to mess or the sweat is dripping down my back outside.

If it's something important like playing with the plugs or that we need to go somewhere then I calmly explain to her why she can't do what she wants and again try redirecting. If that doesn't work, I calmly remove her from the situation in an assertive way. If she cries, I explain and again try distracting. If she doesn't calm down I'll tell her that I'm going to leave her here to work it out and walk away. This does one of two things, she either calms down and follows me and I'll pick her up and again explain why I said she couldn't or she screams more and stomps and throw things again I'll explain, walk away or distract. By now I know what gets her attention, but sometimes when she just want what she wants when she wants it she also needs to learn to deal with her emotions.

She is by no means an angel but she's doing well, if I stay calm nothing lasts more than 5 - 10 minutes. The other day I was hot, tired and stressed and lost my cool completely and it lasted 30 - 45 min in the end only to realize that I was being unreasonable.

Juggling a job, house, husband, child and studying isn't easy and I pms with the best of them but when B turned 14/15 months I was bouncing off the walls with every tantrum and after a while I just couldn't do it anymore. I became a horrible screaming out of control person and it didn't do either of us any good. Now things are quick and easy but it took some hard work on my part to get there, OCD and a need to control things really don't go hand in hand with toddlers!

So that's what I do, hubby knows the drill and backs me up and vice versa, if I feel like I really won't be able to control my emotions I tag him. He does the bath in the evening and believe me sometimes she cries through that and changing and nappy, teeth brushing and bottle into bed - big old tears but I know she's just tired. Whoever of us two is the most calm gets to deal with her then, usually to get it over quickly we both pitch in and work quickly around the crying, kicking, screaming. If either of us get too worked up we walk out to calm ourselves first.

You know what they say about fighting fire with fire!

So that's us. Sorry for the long story, just thought it might help someone else too.