Naughty!!!

Rm- lol, I have also resorted to that! If he's really upset, he tends to just scream out in despair, much easier to handle. Cos thats when he knows I have overpowered him and he's lost. Shame.. The nappy thing! It's bad enough to change him.. The nappy in itself is hostile enough, without him trying to put his hands in it and I HAVE to get a firm grip else sh%t goes everywhere! Plus he just makes it take SOOOOO much longer than it needs to.
(ps. sometimes 5 times a day, I have considered feeding him less)

Newbiemom wrote:

memo - i agree, its very different - its easy for me to let things slide and be flexible with him because we have a flexible lifestyle and i am his primary care taker, he doesnt go to a daycare, so im the only one who has to deal with him. And i also remember what it feels like being little and not being allowed to explore and after a while even being shy and scared of even touching anything. i never wanted to have that approach with him, i want him to be confident and happy and feel free (within my boundries ofcourse )

Tinti - i can absolutely understand your frustration. have you and ur dh spoken about what you wanted to reach regarding discipline? its so important for you and dh to sit down and speak about what you both want and why and then atleast come up with a compromise if you cant agree. good luck lady

Thanx Newbiemom. Ive talked to DH until i am blue in the face he is just spoiling and enabling my LB's naughtiness. but when he is not home my boy is well behaved and calm though.

I was changing Isabelle (2 next month) this afternoon, trying to get everyone ready and out the house.

She was cranky, and was kicking and making it impossible for me to change her nappy - to add to it I am cranky and feeling really short tempered (various reasons, none important here).

In my usual way I wrestled with her, to try and get her legs still, and she was kicking out at me, and basically just having a thrombie.

She hit me a few times in the chest and I was getting more frustrated trying to get her to lie still and to change her.

And then I reasoned it is easier for me to work with a child who is upset than a child who is throwing a tantrum.

So I gave her a little smack on her upper leg - her face went into a grimace of horror (I have never hit her before) and then she started to scream.

I felt like sh*t because I had lost control, and that horrible look in her eye when she realised she was sore and it was me who had made her sore.

Mommy : 0 - - Hell : 1

memo - i agree, its very different - its easy for me to let things slide and be flexible with him because we have a flexible lifestyle and i am his primary care taker, he doesnt go to a daycare, so im the only one who has to deal with him. And i also remember what it feels like being little and not being allowed to explore and after a while even being shy and scared of even touching anything. i never wanted to have that approach with him, i want him to be confident and happy and feel free (within my boundries ofcourse )

Tinti - i can absolutely understand your frustration. have you and ur dh spoken about what you wanted to reach regarding discipline? its so important for you and dh to sit down and speak about what you both want and why and then atleast come up with a compromise if you cant agree. good luck lady

what a wonderful thread its almost like it was made for me because DH frastrates me very much regarding thedesciple of our 2.7yrs old son. he spoils him so much and let him get away with murder that i am afraid that he will turn out to be one of those unrully children. one e.g i can give out of thousands is my son will ask for a cooldrink and i give him and when he finish drinking he will leave his cup on the floor and continue playing so i asked him to return it to the kitchen he said NO! so i kneel down of his level and repeat with a stern voice to return the cup to the Kitchen and he repeat NO! so i say naughty corner and he starts crying and DH picks him up and say sorry Baba mommy is being cruel!! and take the cup to the kitchen mind you this is the mildest situation. i think my son is going to turn pretty bad and i am watching it happen!!!. when daddy is driving or just in the car he refuses to seat on his car seat and daddy let him as well but he knows dat if he refuses to seat on his car seat with me i leave him home with the nanny period. sorry for the long thread i am just frastrated!!

Newbiemom- I really loved your post, that is exactly the approach I'm taking.

As for the heavy weight vs lightweight, I also have the nappy issue(the same as the hair brushing issue) and before that it was the sleepmaking.. It turns me into a monster. I found another sleepmaking method which is working wonders and I'm having (slightly) better luck with the nappy changing if I speak to him calmly and describe whats happening.. or find the perfect toy. But it's still a struggle.

Bottom line for me is also safety, if it's not gonna hurt him or someone else, for the most part I let it slide. I dont like the idea of enforcing rules for sake of (eish for lack of a better term) 'showing him who's boss'.. I've had a problem with this all my life, my mom use to do this and I got bigger, smarter and stronger.

I must add that I think there is a big difference between being at home raising ONE child and having even one more child/ being a working mom.

Great thread!

My boy is only 11months old, but I have already seen that it is necessary to start enforcing certain boundaries and limits. Especially with a little boy! I think its a male thing, they love a challenge, and "NO" sounds like a challenge of how far they can take it.

I found the same principle helpful when he was tiny and had to sleep. I knew that it's best for him to sleep, and so I needed to be the boss and enforce it. We don't discipline our kids just cause we want to be mean, but we know whats best and we are the adult. (A 70kg adult at that! haha loved that! Maybe that diet is not such a good idea, I might need the extra weight with two little boys in the house!)