Fear to wash hair

Hi everyone,

Blompotjie - I have exactly the same issue with my daughter (she's now 2 yrs, 9 mnths)... To make things worse - she has extremely curly hair, that I havent cut since the day she was born. Of course it looks gorgeous.. but I think the washing & getting the shampoo out - is not as bad as her fearing the actual "brushing" afterwards to get the knots& tangles out. ... What I did is out of desperation I got in the bath with her.. then started washing my hair. I asked her to help me which she immediately did (getting soap in my eyes and nostrils etc - but at least she was "helping mommy wash wash hair").. Then when it was time to rinse - I let her do it.. and when we finished.. she started "Washing" her hair on her own... and then to my surprise asked me to help her! Ha ha

But it only works sometimes... I agree with everyone - maybe its just a phase... they have to grow out of it at some point!

Good luck!

Blompotjie, what a brilliant solution. I think in the end I started doing exactly what you described. I detached myself emotionally from the situation, tried to make it as fun as possible and offer distraction if possible but still got the job done as quickly as possible. Afterwards we would spend some time together to confirm and restore the bond.

Great strategy. I hope it will pass soon.

Hi, just want to give some feedback.

As you know, my boy not only got a fear to wash his hair but also to bath, due to fair of washing hair.

Instead of being impatiened with him and sort cross, I decided to sort of ignore his crying when it comes to bath time, but in a friendly manner, letting him understand that I am going to make it as fun and easy as possible and smiling at him, that seemed to calm him down and the bathing started to go smoother. I also tell him if I am going to wash his hair and if not.

He offcourse still refuses and screams the roof off when I wash his hair, but I don't get angry anymore, I just calmly tell him that it is almost over. So hopefully it will get better soon.

Oh, boy the same old dirty clothes for 3 days....yes, I KNOW what you are talking about!!

I find the most difficult times are when they are sick. They just don't feel well enough to co-operate. And they are going to throw all that anger from being sick right at you!!

I personally find a difficult 3 year old WAY MORE impossible than any 2 year old!

I love my girl to bits and enjoy her so much, but when she decides she is not going to co-operate, Oh, boy, it gets nasty....

O my word. Thank you ladies. I thought as much that it could be a phase.

He has the flu now, and he knows I never wash his hair if he is sick. But he still needs to bath. Now it worsened with him refusing even to bath. I BEG YOUR PARDEN!!! He also has a shirt on for the last 3 days he does not want to take off to bath.

But anycase, I sympathised with him and told him, 'mommy understands' lets just at least clean your body with a wet cloth for the time being. But tonight he needs to bath, i know he probably compares bath time with hair wash now, but I told him I won't wash his hair until his ready Don't know how long that's going to take, but we'll see.

With that, he still wants to cry and not bath. Really!!

Gloeiwurmpie, I understand the pain thing as well, I am very carefull there as well, because I my self am quite sensitve to washing hair. So when I washed his hair, I try to be as gentle as possible. It's just the water bit I think throws him haywire, when is thrown over his head. I just hope and pray this will pass soon, my nerves can't handle it so well at this stage.

Thank you once again ladies.

Just another note. I think it is important to acknowledge that you understand that this something unpleasant for them and that he doesn't like the sensation of the water. And that is okay. It really is important to acknowledge his feelings. I do think it is legitimate. I have actually read in one of my books about sensory integration disorders that washing hair for somebody with an extremely sensitive nervous system it is actually "painful" to wash hair. I am not saying this is the case with your son, but rather that the physical sensation does cause him real physical discomfort (like pain) and it should be recognised that he feels this way.

Hope it will pass soon!!

Blompotjie.

Deepest sympathy!!!!

This has been one of our BIG struggles. I know exactly what you are talking about.

I am not even going to waste time mentioning all the things you can do to make it better, I have tried every single suggestion I could find on the internet and NOTHING worked. I have been washing her hair only once a week and only on a weekend day (my husband can help then). We always offered a small towel that she can put over her face but in the end we just got it over as soon as possible and had to pour water over her entire head. And the screaming. Yes, defnitely thought that they were going to call childline!

I think it is a phase (a pretty long one for us) because for the past month she is willing to do it herself, that is lie back in the bath and wet her hair and I would then gently wet the hair that she can't. Then we would wash and she would help and she would lie back again or she sits up straight looking up and puts a towel over her face and we pour. She is now 3,5 years old. I think it is something that they outgrow..... good luck!