What is the ''Terrible Two's''

Hi Maj,

Taking Deep Breaths....*literally*

My husband works alot, and hence I am with the little one 90% of the time. So I guess this is why I feel so stressed out by his behavior.

I have tried to speak with him, and rationalize his tantrums, my husbands says I am allowing Carter to take advantage of me.
Although, I still let Carter know that screaming and nagging is not going to help me understand what he wants.
He still does it. I will however keep at it and have faith I will eventually get through to him.

The moment Carter sees his teacher, he changes his attitude, it goes 'kicking and screaming tantrum to happy' in no time.
I stand there thinking, am I going crazy.

I need to get a game plan, and soon. Taking Carter to the local shops have been proving impossible. He wants everything.I take snacks, I take toys. I end up spending so much time getting ready for what is about to happen that I actually don't even have time to put a simple shopping list together.

ok, I think I am ranting here....

Thank for your advise, I so so appreciate it

Hi Shantal,

Take a deep breathe!
Toddlers can be tricky! especially with mums!
A very important lesson I learnt, dont speak about "terrible two's" or "tantrums" in front of them. They pick up the negativity somehow. Instead call it an adjustment or boundry phase.

How old is Carter?
I found my daughter was ok when she started school for a couple of days, and then the "tantrums" started, but the teacher would say she settles soon after leaving me.
My MIL has a preschool, and says kids do it often, and once they are in class, and the parents have left, they are fine.

I think its a matter of adjustment and preparation. You need to get him excited about school, and the process of getting to school. You also need to make him aware that you will be there later on. "Mummy will fetch you", etc, and be there on time. Believe me, the school bit improves, just as you are about to break!!

Being firm with him, is not necessarily screaming and giving him a little shot-though in the moment of frustration its our only reaction. But they learn that screaming is acceptable. I am not much of a "time-out" or "naughty corner" person either.

My best advice, keep repeating that you cannot understand what he wants if he screams and cries, and that he needs to speak or show u what he wants. Toddlers are waaay more capable than we give them credit for.
Hold him, hug him, just even sit with him until he calms down, and again explain that you cannot understand and you cannot do anything to make it better unless he tells what the problem is. He needs to learn that crying and screaming is not benefiting.
This is extremely difficult, especially when you are out, or trying to get dinner ready, etc.
Bedtime is frustrating as you need him to sleep so you can have a little time before you get to bed.
But it pays off to take the moment and breathe. The more upset you get, the more upset he will get.

Hang in there, it does improve!

Gloeiwurmpie,

Thank you for the link.

Just an update on my current 'Terrible 2' period...

My toddler started school in February and the nanny left in December to a much better opportunity.

Carter (LB) was so keen and excited about school, everyday for 3 weeks.

Recently...

Now he is uncontrollable, he cry's for everything he wants, does not ask anymore. Just cry's as communication. His speech is much better, he has been speaking now, so I don't understand why he cry's so much.

This morning he had a proper tantrum from the time he woke till the time he went to school. Then gets into class and is all silent.

I have very much noticed that the behavior he displays at home and at school are very different.

Bedtime is a nightmare, I have found myself screaming at him and even giving him a whack on the hand. I know he is exhausted but he pushes on...

Some one suggested to me, a calming drop...anyone tried this?

I just dont feel comfortable giving him meds to calm him.

Hi Shantal,

Sounds like you have a very healthy "normal" 2 year old!

I love this website and its parenting style. It helps to know what you can expect from them developmentally at what age:

www.ahaparenting.com/

Zaza 2011

Thank you, knowing that I am not alone, makes me feel that I may not be the issue

I have been keeping my cool, and being calm, not letting him know he gets to me but inside im dying.

Hubby says im too soft on him and need to be more stern, I just dont think that shouting and screaming is gonna do my sanity any good and most importantly help my LB.

I will however take your advise and find a pattern that is going to make my son understand what he is doing wrong.

My LB is also very sociable and we have recently moved to another city, so I am trying to get him into a playgroup or nursery, where he can socialize with other kids his age.
I'm also starting to think that maybe being with adults all the time, isn't his cup of tea.

Shantal there is nothing wrong with you, that's terrible two's and believe me people don't warn parents, they go from terrible two's to torturous three's lol.

I find and have heard many people say that at the "terrible two" phase they do this to mummy cause they miss us and often when we back with them, they are so overwhelmed they don't quiet know how to express themselves so they do everything they not supposed to assuming it will keep our attention. Sometimes they are just angry cause we are not around with them all the time so they show us just how angry they can be.

I found when my daughter was 2 we had to have time out's from each other when she was in this state, either dad or someone else would take her away or I would go in the lounge or kitchen, she would then realise mum is not happy and within seconds would come to me a lot more loving or calm a lot more down. they learn this way, you will have to find your pattern that works for you, but let me tell you a 3 year old has a lot more power behind their tantrums when they get there, so the sooner you can figure out how to stay calm and calm them at 2, makes it easier at 3.

My LG is 4 now and she is a different person after she turned 4 so there is good stuff coming, hard work but you will are good mum and you will get there, our little kids are still trying to figure out their own personalities so we have to give it time also.

Yup!

My daughter is 21 months and thinls the world must celebrate her naughtiness.