My toddler just frustrates me

when it comes to discipline i have read up on the subject and the man i most agree with and makes most sense to me is: Arnold Mol - Ouerskap is nie kinder speletjies nie.

It opened my eyes in the way that i would want to raise my kids.

PS: Michael Mol on top billing is his son... MMMMM

I bought it at Exclusive Books, it is quite pricey (R219) and I must admit that I have not read that much, but what I have read makes perfect sense.


I kinda skipped straight to the sleeping issue, sorted that out and am now reading the hows and whys of tantrums and toddler (mis)behaviour

It is like we all have the same kids!!!

My daughter has just turned 4 and even if most people won’t agree with me and most mothers won’t publicly agree that they also do it, I believe in a good hiding. Some do some don’t personal choice.

Amandalynn hardly gets hidings, because she knows I speak once and that’s it. if she does not listen, I count to 3 and on 3 she will get a hiding.(as in 1, 2,3 - not 1, 2 , 2 and bit, etc and never act on 3) so now on the age of 4 she never gets a hiding because as soon as I start counting she sparks!!! I'm not saying hit your child, but be consistent in which ever way you plan on punishing your child. Even when you’re in public.

since my second Child was born in Jan we were under the impression that Amandalynn will start acting out because of the new sibling, but she didn't but about 2 months ago it started and I have realised giving her a hiding does not help with that so then I just ignore her!!! And they hate it.

Hayley – remember it takes 14 days for something to become a habit, so teaching your child to do something takes 2 weeks… I know by that time we are over tired but hold on it helps. Shorten his afternoon nap to a hour and see if that help him to get to bed at night.

Claire – where can I buy the book?

AHHH SO I'M NOT ALONE

MY LG IS 4 GOING ON 5 AND WE STILL HAVE PROBLEMS.

I HAVE TRIED TIME-OUT, TRIED THE NICE APPROACH, THE SCREAMING AND GOING MAD APROACH, AND EVEN A LITTLE PAT ON THE HAND. NOTHING HAS WORKED.

WAHT I AM TRYING NOW IS THE STAR-CHART METHOD, ALL GOOD IS REWARDED BY A GOLD STAR AND BAD BY A CROSS AND NO TREAT AND TIME-OUT... HAS WORKING FOR 5 DAYS SO FAR

TANYA - SOMETIME MY LG LAUGHS AS WELL AND WHEN I PAT HER ON THE HAND SHE SAYS "NAH NAH NAH THAT WASN'T SORE" THEN I GO MAD......

Thanks everyone.

Julz- Thanks. I hate thinking he is going to bed hungry. But you are right he won't starve himself. I must admitt I don't always follow through with punishing. I know that is wrong but I sometimes just feel I don't have the energy to fight with him to stay on the naughty chair which he find very funny. He runs around holding the chair under his bum laughing. He is so diviant.

Claire- Think I must buy that book and take a look but tonight I am going to try the ingnoring thing and see what he does.

Jems- LOL I also use bribery at the shops and that does work. I will give the naughty chair another go from today. I love the way your LO says "she feels better now" after being put on the chair. That is sweet.

Tanya- I would say you need to keep trying the naughty chair. 2yrs is not too young. I know it is hard when they start crying and looking at you like you are so awful but like Julz says we need to follow through with a punishment. Mine laughs when I put him on the naughty chair- How frustrating is that.

MOrning ladies,
I am having the exact same problem with Joel. The terrible 2's is no freakin joke. He is so defiant with me and because his dad works away and only comes home on a Friday he sees daddy as the fun one and Mom the drill seageant. He will only be two next month is it to soon to start the naughty corner/chair/mat with him. The last time I tried it he just stood their balling his eyes out while looking at me so helplessly and obviously I went to him and gave him a big hug. What am I doing wrong or rather how should I be doing it?
Thank yoU!!

Hayley - Jade has recently just started her terrible 2's. Oh joy. And as I am the only person who actually disciplines her and won't put up with her shananigans as it is unfair on Troy as he just get's left at those points.

This is what I do:
Naughty/time-out chair - works like a charm! Give her a warning for whatever she is doing. Usually putting up a fight to get dressed. I look her in the eye and say Jade let's get dressed or you are going to spend time in the chair until you are ready to get dressed. If she whinges to kicks up a stink again - in the chair. I usually tell - when you are ready to get dressed and behave then come to me. Or 1 minute for every year. Once she had decided she i ready to get dressed. I usually put in the passage away from our bedroom as then she is feels excluded from the family which she hates! She usually gets off the chair and says mommy I am feeling better now and then we carry on with whatever.

I explain to her that she was put in there because she was not listening. Kiss and hug.

Threatening and not doing anything does not work - my MIL and DH do that and Jade just laughs in their face practically. You have to follow through so they can see you mean business!

The food thing - what I do is put the food in front of her if she does not want to eat, then that's her problem and sometimes I might offer her an alternative. Julz is right they won't starve themself.

At the shops - I know this is bad but I do use a bit of bribery. Behave yourself and you can get x or sweeties or whatever. Or I just keep of feeding her while doing my food shopping - fruit, then some juice, nuts, rice cakes etc. Keeps her quiet. Sometimes she helps to shops and puts stuff in the trolley and while she is not looking I take whatever out. I am the one that just puts stuff anywhere on the shelves I spend enough at woolies for them to tidy up after me!

Bed time - we don't have issues yet. Just got to lie there with her till she falls asleep. Which is fine cos I am usually feeding Troy at the same time. And gives me an excuse to lie and relax with the kids.