Advice needed please

WHY IS LIFE SO UNFAIR!!!!! MY 28YO FRIEND JUST HAD A MISCARRIAGE.....

Wot pisses me off is the fact she started bleeding on Saturday! she phones my gynae and instead of telling her to come in (because of her history) he tells her to go lay down and put her feet up and rest! Yesterday she starts bleeding more and he tells her she must come in today? WTF? he doesn't tell her he is out of town and will be back next week!!!!!! She went to a gynae at UCT Hospital and he has now taken blood for tests etc......my gynae (only took tests for glucose, did not recommend her to anyone etc) i'm so upset!!!!!!!!!!

Julz i've advised her about the fertility clinic u told me about!

Julz thanks so much for the info! One gets to a point where you dont know what to say anymore, and i've taken it upon myself to say it like it is, but being sympathetic towards it as well. The 38yo is going for tests next week and the 28yo is still going strong, so i'm just praying that it stays this way....gynae has given her lots of meds for first trimester.

I'm based in CT Julz, thanks for that info

Hi there

This is very sad indeed.

There are a few causes of Mc. What many women don't know is that early mc is very very common. Almost 25% of pregancies end in early mc. Most of us are not even aware that we are having a mc. It would appear as a regular period. These days we have home pregancy tests that pick up pregnacy hormoes as early as 4 weeks so moms get postitve tests only to find out a few days later that the pregnancy was not viable which is why I am so against early testing.

The most common cause of mc is chromosomal issues. This leads to early mc. I believe this is natures way of being kind. Still very sad for the parents.

There can be hormonal issues. Low progesterone may cause mc as there is not enough support until the placenta is fully functional. Simple blood tests will pick this up and the doctor will place the mom on progesterone support.

There could be a physical problem with the uterus or cervic. An incompetent cervix often causes spontaneous delivery at 16-20 weeks and a stitch can be inserted in the next pregnancy. Sadly there is no way of knowing you have this condition until it happens. There may be adhesions in the uterus or other issues. A simple scope can be done to make sure the uterus is healthy.

There may be genetic issues or physical problems with the baby like a heart defect etc.

Because mc are so common most doctors will only address the issue once a woman has had 3 or more mc. This is very frustrating for the couples, but often the tests are expensive and invasive.

I hope your friends are okay. Well done to you for supporting them and finding out more to help them.

I am not sure where you are but I used Aevitas in Cape Town. They are the most incredible fertiltiy specialists.

x

I'm so sorry to hear about your friends. I've been through multiple pg losses and it's very hard. I don't have any advise really. I've found that you really have to fight for testing etc. I've been told that we just have "bad luck". But really!! How much bad luck can one person have?! The best would be to try and find a decent sympathetic gyne who will go the extra mile.

Thanks RM. What troubles me most was my 28yo friend had no tests done wotsoever and i pleaded with her to please change gynaes and she did, she went to mine though and after the 4th miscarriage her womb dropped as was kept overnight and gynae told her that there is nothing wrong? Why not send her to a fertility specialist? I'm really hoping this 5th pregnancy is it! I hope and pray.

Yikes, those are terrible stories. I am sure Julz will be able to offer some sage words of advise.

All I would suggest is that they align themselves with a OBGYN who deals with fertlity issues and high risk pregnancies.

I think the odd early miscarriage (though traumatic) is normal, but when you have had two or more, then there is a problem that needs some medical intervention.

But let's see if Julz can add something here. Shame man, I cannot imagine the trauma your friends are going through - I will go home and hug my kids a little tighter when I get home.

Hi fellow moomies

I have a colleague (38yrs) and a friend (28yrs) and they seem to have the same problem.

28 year old friend - she has had 4 miscarriages already and lost a child at 81/2 months, she had the 4 miscarriages after the first pregnancy of 81/2 months. She is pregnant again now and is 10weeks. This is the first time (other than previous pregnancy of 81/2 months) that she is so far, she normally is pregnant up until 8 weeks max and then miscarries..........

38yr old colleague - she has had 2 miscarriages is at Pathcare now taking blood to find out if she is pregnant (she doubts it as a blob, sorry tmi) came out on friday and she started bleeding. If the blood tests show that she is in fact still pregnant then she will have surgery tomorrow as gynae says it is ectopic pregnancy.

My heart bleeds for the 2 of them! My question is why does this happen? is it genetic or age (38 year old case) or do they need a stitch or what? I think they have been thru enough already and if 28 year old miscarries now again, it will be her 5th . She phoned me last night saying it was slimy the morning when she wiped (tmi sorry) and last night was a bit brown but now there is nothing! Any advice? Thanks