Look, infertility is painful and heart wrenching and many people who have not experienced it themselves or shared in the pain with someone dear to them, just have NO IDEA and simply do not understand. There are also sooo many emotions involved and all it takes is for someone (who possibly could mean well) to ask the wrong question at the wrong time, to push someone completely over the edge. Imagine, just getting your 100th BFN and someone comes to you and says: “You and dh have been married for 7 years now, when are the babies coming?” Seems innocent to the person asking the question, but to the person on the other end – not so much obviously……
In this particular scenario, the callous (in my opinon) way that the person refers to “by who the problem lies” says to me that she has NO IDEA about the pain that infertility causes and should not ask the question. And why does people assume that marriage = children???? Seriously, perhaps there is no problem and they just don’t want children. Why assume a “problem”??
On another note, even more disturbing to me is that someone “liked” the comment??? Not sue exactly what he/she was “liking” but that’s another story altogether
If you had fertility issues, and had chosen not to tell anyone - how would you re-act if someone asked you if there was a problem?
Do you think people should just NOT ask unless you have openly talked about it? I know it is such a sore point, and then of course people come out with all the little tips on how to fall pregnant (such as "just relax")
I dont think I would ask if there was a problem - maybe I would ask if they were planning on having children? - Thats another thing, what if the couple just dont want kids?
Do you ask, would you tell?
