TRYING FOR 2015 BABY

Thanks Lillyr

I must confess, I do feel a better this morning. hubby and I had a long discussion about it all yesterday and we've decided to just put everything on hold for a month or two. Just so that my hormones and everything else can return to normal.

After that, we're going to have a serious discussion with the gynae and hear what she thinks is the next best route. It's a tough decision because we'd like to do everything as natural as possible (clearly not happening like that yet) but there's the option of stuff designed specifically for blocked fallopian tubes from America as well as going to see a homeopath.

The only 'problem' I foresee with this is that going to see a homeopath will lengthen the ttc process considerably while my body gets its ass in gear and honestly, I don't know how many more disappointments I can take. I know there are ladies on here who have been trying for so many more years than what hubby and I have and I really take my hat of you ladies.

Other than those two options, its IUI or IVF. Both of which will cost a fortune that the medical aid doesn't cover for whatever purpose.

Ag ok. So I'm still bummed this morning and even though I can talk to hubby and I know that he'll support me regardless, it's not the same as talking to ladies who are going through similar things.

@ Jay-bee and Fairy child, I really hope AF doesn't arrive for you guys. Let some of us at least get good news this month.

@ Lillyr, the symptom spotting and feelings that you think are related to pregnancy / AF are just horrible to feel (or even think you feel). It's as though every minute you can think of nothing else. Sorry ttc this time round is difficult for you. I really am. As for the PT, I have come to think that by buying a PT jinxes me, that's why I no longer buy them. I agree, don't waste it till you are at least a week overdue.

Lots of love and baby dust ladies.

xx

@Morgan - my heart broke when i read your post. i dont even know what to say to you. I am so sorry. I hope you are feeling a little better today. **HUGS**

@Jay-bee: lets stay positive until that AF wont arrive. All the best dear

i never thought TTC is so rough. well i guess because my first was a bit of an oops, i took it its that easy to TTC, but i am realisng now that TTC is hell man. every day you wonder, with every little symptom(some probably just from one's head) you think this is it. only to get dissapointed. My AF is supposed to arrive this week as well, and it seems she is SO coming cos i havent felt any different. I have even told myself i am not going to waste my PT for nothing.. so i am just going to wait it out and see if next cycle is any different.

@fairyChild- all the best dear. lets hope the witch(AF) wont rock up.

have a lovely day further ladies, dont be strangers.

Hi Jay-Bee

Thanks so much.

I appreciate it greatly. I really do.

I told hubby last night that AF is probably coming today because I also had all my tell tale signs.

I think what angers / hurts the most is that you try and do EVERYTHING right and still nothing positive comes from it.

Lots of love to you guys too.

Getting the ice-cream out tonight and might even watch Titanic or Pearl Harbour just to get the emotions an outlet.

xx

Hi Morgan

I am truly sorry that AF has showed up and I can feel your hurt, frustration and anger. I understand that one can easily feel like a failure especially when in our own heads ttc seems to be so natural so easy as our bodies are "designed" to have babies and if it doesn't happen we come down hard on ourselves. Find strength that we are with you and understand how you are feeling and next cycle is a new start and try to keep positive (I know it is easier said than done).

We bd every other day and used OPK's but never got a positive and I really hoped that I just missed my surge as I felt that I ovulated, later than normal on CD20. Af is due next week and I am feeling the normal pms cramps and cravings. I still have hope but I am emotional as well as I know that I am probably out this cycle too. We really gave it our all and to have af show up again is so heart breaking.

Sending hugs

Good Morning Ladies!!

So, the tww is officially over for me and......AF arrived right on schedule. In a way I have to admire her punctuality but I also absolutely hate it.

Truth be told, I don't know what emotion is more abundant this morning - anger, heartache, hopelessness, jealousy, hatred, depression. They are ALL making their way through my heart and mind.

My hormones are raging, emotions are all on a collision course, the stress of deadlines at work adding to the ease with which I will burst into tears on multiple occasions today. The inability to even LOOK at my husband this morning.

I've never been good at failing. Not that I was pushed to be the best at everything as a child, my parents always told me to do MY best, not 'be the best' but 'do your best' and I did.

I've always said that when I have kids, I would uphold that same philosophy but this whole process of ttc and FAILING every month is killing me.

KILLING ME.

I say 'failing every month' because why is it that the one thing I should be able to do is the one thing that simply will not happen? Ladies, please, take no offence, it's just how I feel about myself. No finger pointing at anyone else. Just me.

I loath feeling like this. I absolutely hate it. I hate that every month it feels like the entire bloody universe is against me, laughing at me, pointing fingers and saying 'Look! Look! She's going to burst out crying!' and then cheering when I do.

I hate that I have to confess my failure to my husband every month and see the mixed emotions swimming in his eyes. Disappointment, sadness, pity. Pity being the worse because I know he feels terrible for me not because of me but FOR me.

Because my body sabotages itself. Because my fallopian tubes are sitting there, smirking at me and mouthing 'FUCK YOU'.

Hi ladies,

Like Morgan55 I don't know what to say about the 2ww. Trying very hard to distract myself and not to symptom spot. 1 1/2 weeks left. Sigh

Maretha5 - good luck with your IVF. Holding thumbs!

hi ladies

@jay-bee - tww is a drag, i feel like i feel every second that goes by
enjoy your time away, relax and have fun.

@Morgan- i know how you feel. I am so aware of my body now, hopefully i am not making up all these things i am feeling..LOL. Last night i had cramps, very light but for some reason i kept waking up because it was a little uncomfortable. I still felt them this morning but have died down now.. i dont know what it means, but havent seen any spotting or anything like that. so yaa..these little symptoms are not helping the situation(tww) at all

@Maretha- 2015 it is. we got to stay hopeful and beleive. if you dont mind me asking, how long have you been ttcing?

*baby dust* *baby dust* *baby dust*