Tweenie sleepouts.....with an alcoholic ?

I arrived to fetch Connor at school about a month ago.

They could not find him.

I was at that point where saliva was being ejected from my mouth, my eyes were wild, I was starting to run hysterically and look in the corners, I was going off my face - but trying to appear calm and collected, like this was no problem.

Every watched a mom have an anxiety attack in the middle of a school playground and attempt to make it look quite natural that you are hyper-ventilating??

He eventually sauntered out of the bathroom. He was taking a poo.

The kid who looked there before and came out said "I did not see him" which he technically did not as Connor was inside the closed stall.

I have several similiar stories!!

Every afternoon is like an hour of "Let's see if RM can have a heart attack!"

PS

I used to phone the school to check the bus got back from a school trip OK

But I grew out of it.

Reluctant Mom wrote: Play date?

I can so see you rocking that. (not so much)

I know.
I'd have to grit my teeth.
Doesn't help that the mom is fabulously ex-model gorgeous !

Social anxiety with abit of inferiority thrown in.

Play date?

I can so see you rocking that. (not so much)

I also am not a big fan of sleep outs, though I realise it is my issues and my projecting.
Connor is 9 and sleeps out at about 4 - 5 friends at the moment.

Georgia only sleeps at her cousin - which has just started in the last month.

I do worry when they are not home.
I do totally catastrophise everything.

Initially I called and sms'd a lot, now I am more chilled about it.

To be honest my son's friends parents could be alcoholics --- and I would not know.

I always check with him if he wants to sleep over - I think he is a good barometer for the feelings of the house.

I do phone and ask to speak to him and ask him what I call "tell tale" questions to see how he is really faring.

Bottom line - I can't keep my child at my side forever. Sending them to school stresses me.

<I expect to arrive and be told they died each day. So my afternoons picks up are filled with anxiety and panic and no sanity what so ever>

Thanks RM.

I would be oblivious to all this info if I did not know about addiction from my own family unit. I know who they know so put two and two together and then got a validation ot two along the way. So......don't throw stones in glass houses and all that.

The other family could equally be thinking the same of us !!!

But the catastrophe planning is part of letting your child sleep out. I always feel much better if I know any of the sleep out plans involve staying at home for instance. Or my daughters muslim friend where there is no alcohol.

When I hear it is galavanting around I get worried.

<and would prefer she stayed home, but then that would be my stuff holding my child back>

I'm not sure if I am comfortable with the braai idea to be honest. It will feel very forced. Perhaps I would suggest a play date at Spur or Clay Cafe with the two moms.

I spent a month in hospital when I was younger for depression. I think I am good to look after kids, but I would be relectant to have my kids sleepover at someone's home where there was a possibility of my kid being exposed to drunken behaviour.

If they are both sober maybe allow a visit and see how comfortable you kids are. Kids are usually not keen to be around drunk adults.

Well I didn't enjoy my father when he was drunk.

Tricky one, but sort of one of those if we judge then no kids will ever sleep at our house dilemma really.

I would allow it - but be very sure of what is happening.

I will drop you off at 6pm, so Joan what will you guys be doing this evening. I got a great DVD so the girls can stay in and watch it.

I will come by and collect the girls at 10am and take them ice skating for two hours.

How does that sound?

I think initially I would want to try to "control" the situation as far as I could.
Ensure Tweenie has a cell phone with her and can call you in the situation appears to make her nervous in anyway.

I would be equally worried, and running through every catastrophe imaginable (and not.)

I might suggest a braai or two where kid and parents are over at my house first for one or two visits, to get a "feeling" from them.