Grannies as nannies

Vamo,re the comment about him not being himself,my mum says the same!As if I'm abusing my lb.When I wanted to say bye to him this morning she turned the seat towards her and I just told her to let me say bye first.Afterwards she stood in the doorway with him while I pulled out of the drively saying bye-bye.I grew up with my granny so dont have a close relationship with my mum.But it's so much better to just get it out of my system and let her know whats for what.Because when our lo's are at home with us we mommies are the ones who struggle with them.It just confuses them coz they can do something at grans house but not at mum's

I'm currently staying with my mom, it's been bliss, but I head back to Cape Town on Tuesday. Ek will defnitely been missing my Azzy.lol
I must say, I made it very clear to my mom that I will be raising my baby MY way!
I would suggest you call your mom on it EVERY time she starts taking over. Trust me she will quickly get that if she is not prepared to fully respect your roll as mother as will lose out...
(sounds harsh, but you have to put your foot down alot at first, and then only one in while maintain your position)
I was also nervous coming up to Jozi that she it would be a constant uphill battle getting her use to my style of parenting, but so far so good.

I so get what you guys are saying regarding the spoiling and no rules.

I just point blank told my mother from the beginning: if she is looking after my LG on a day-to-day basis, the spoiling and the granny part sort of fades away compared to the raising and teaching part. And so far so good.

We kind of worked out a routine together, which we stick with together. We change it every now and then, and we don't always stick to it religiously, but there is a plan.

Seems to me it depends on the kind of relationship you and your mom have.

I also have this rule: when ever my mom oversteps the boundaries, I just jokingly tell her that my LG will be going to the crech very soon

I can in a way relate to your experiences Cherrie! In a month, my son spends 2 weeks with us in Kimberley and the other two with my mom in KZN religiously! Back in KZN my son has NO routine! He does as he pleases! I call home around 22:30 and I hear him giggling at the back and when I ask why isn't he in bed I always get told that he will sleep when he is ready to! He eats at any given time of the day! I'm not looking forward to the days when he is ready to eat ice creams and the likes coz gogo will never say 'no'.

When my son has been here in Kimberley, she complains that we have been 'terrorising' the poor baby coz he is not his happy self! I say no, he had a routine with us, he knew when to play or sleep, when to eat yoghurt or veggies!

I pride my mom for taking extra care of my son but the spoiling part I am not sure of! Gogos just think they know it all! She always says if she was caplable of killing a baby, she would have killed me! So for peace sake now, I just keep quite.

I have deceided against the day mum, creche route as my mum has very kindly offered to move to cpt from dbn to take care of peyton when I go back to work in a few month. This is a huge relief as not only will be saving money but more importantly my LG will getting the best possible care from the best possible person, her grandma.

Her grandma dotes on hand will take care of her almost as if she herself gave birth to her such is the relationship between my mum and Peyton. I can go back to work comfortable and with no worries knowing she is in good hands.

My mum and I do have opposing ideas when it comes to some things so I will have to lay down the boundaries. Having said that I know she w only want what's best for Peyton so don't see a problem with that.

Sit down over coffee with your mum and talk about your concerns.

My mom (who has been a SAHM all her life) looks after my LG since she was 3 and a half months old. My LG absolutely adores my mother and I would not have it any other way.

BUT, from the very beginning (as in when we started planning my LG) I was really straight and upfront with my mother regarding the upbringing of my child. During my pregnancy and since my LG's birth, I have always tried to communicate with my mother in an open and honest way regarding the rules and routine I prefer my LG to follow. And my mother respects this and tries to keep by them.

But abviously, I also try to keep an open mind and let my mother do as she sees fit in some instances. For example: I did not really want my LG to have a walking ring, but my mother and father wanted to get her one (since both my sus and me had one). So, I let them buy her one, but made it very cleat that my LG is not "allowed" to spend too much time in it. And I never used it when she was with us. And my mother would actually take alot of pictures of my LG sitting on the ground or other stuff, as proof that she did not leave her in the walking ring the whole day long.

Point I'm trying to bring across is, it might be difficult at times, and you and your mother might not agree all the time, but try and compromise some (as should your mother), but also stick to your rules. And keep the communication channels open. I do sometimes discuss something with my mother that upsets her, but then after a while, she calms down and we carry on (as per my instructions).

Oh, and off course I have felt many a days that my mother is trying (or even actually) outshining me! I think that is very normal to feel and I try and deal with it as it comes up.

One thing I am certain of, I would not leave my child with any other person in the world! And I thank God every single day for the great mom I have.

Thanx ladies!Feel soo much better.