Legal advice

Thanks again ladies. Kirst thanks for the e-mail... will forward to her...

i have spoken to her and she is already 1cm dilated, so her bundle of joy will be arriving very soon.
Hopefully all these problems can be ironed out soon, so she at least can enjoy being a mom...

Yip he can't just sign off his rights! She can go to court and don't have to pay. But it's a long process. The court will then request for paternity test - whether he wants to or not. She will need his physical address to get this going as the court will not go 'hunt' for him.

When I fell pregnant with Kayla I first tried to go this route and had all the information etc. (6 years ago) but eventually decided against it. He left when I told him I was pregnant at 4 weeks, never spoke to him during my pregnancy. The day K was born he came to hospital and begged for forgiveness. He was involved for 6 weeks and then disappeared again, so I told him to get lost. I'm happy with my decision and I'm now married to a wonderful guy who has accepted K as his own (we still need to go get the adoption sorted), but for the first 4 years it was really hard financially. It's not easy bringing a child up with one income, so I would suggest she does not just leave it. It's so easy for the guys to just walk away! And people like me just allow it

Thanks so much ladies for your help.
Kirst - i just sent you a PM! will let her know about the Family Life centres!

Some men can be so selfish afterall there is an innocent baby involved!
It's a very ugly situation at the moment and his parents are getting involved as well!

Any info for her will be much appreciated!

Hi Teez, There is a new Child Protection law, which is based on the rights of the child. Your friend need's to get help on it, but if I read it correctly, if he is the father, he will have to pay maintenance. If he cannot afford it, she can sue his parents as well. But like I said she'll need to contact someone to help her. There is family courts in all major cities that will assist her for free, if she cannot afford legal advice.

Teez if you post your email address I can send you a copy of the Children's act if this would help your friend. As far as I know if the father chooses not to have anything to do with the child this doesn't absolve him of his responsibility to pay maintenance.

I suggest that your friend get some legal advice from a professional regarding these matters to put her mind at ease. I am a single mom and went to the Family Life centre for advice - I had a one hour session with a lawyer for R240.

Hello there!

I am really enjoying the advice from the moms and hoping that you could help a friend of mine with her problems at the moment...

she is currently 39 weeks and pretty much has been alone for the whole pregnancy
Her sperm donor has contacted her recently(he has requested a paternity test once baby is born) and has informed her that he wants nothing to do with the baby and is signing off his 'parental rights' (if he is the father).
She is stressing at the moment(which she doesn't actually need right now) If this does happen what happens in terms of maintenance and so forth? BTW - he is working temporarily so he will be using this as an excuse as well!