very shy baby...?

Dylan is a bit of both. Quite confident but doesn't want to his space crowded with too many people. Quite selective with people. Kids he loves though.

Claire you've just reminded me of when I was in Grde 9 and I was asked to explain a sum on teh board. I had gotten it right on my test that's why the teacher asked me to explain how to solve the equation. The chalk took in my hand, sweat ran down my leg, my voice was shaking and was so close to tears. I had always somehow avoided being picked to stand in front and explain till that day and I became the joke of the class. The kids laughed at me so much and I wanted to die and the teacher shut them up by telling them that I was the only one that got full marks for the test and that no one was laughing at them for being so dumb. He felt so sorry for me cos he didn't know I was so shy.

But shy is an understatement, I was a recluse. I spent most of my time in my bedroom, reading or sleeping. Whenever I heard a knock on the door I would sneak out of the lounge and back to my room. I never went to any function whether it was a party, wedding or funeral. If things were my way I would have been home schooled rather than have to go to a school full of people. When I was sent to the shops I'd be back in record time and my mother would tease me cos they know I'd literally run at a shopping mall, actual pick your legs up and run, just so I could go back home, and even there my chores would be finished in record time so I could go back to my room. My younger sisters always tell me that they knew of my existence but didn't actually know me until now. My fav places were the library and my bedroom. I looked no one in the eye or face hence I meet a lot of people that I don't recognise yet they know me, I also don't remember names cos I was never party to any gossip with/about them, hardly talked to them in the streets and never had any reason to know them cos I wasn't interested. I was like that all through high school then 1 day, 3 weeks after starting varsity I was dared to run for Campus residence president by an older guy. For the second time in my life I stood in front of people but that time I nailed it. For the first time a first year student took the chairperson position and I've never looked back. I'm not sure whether I was a bloody good public speaker or had written a darn good speach to begin with or just a good spin doctor. Now my younger sisters wonder how the heck the recluse became popular So you see, we all outgrow shyness at some point.

I also would not call my daughter shy - as she really is not, but she is just reserved with new people.

I was very proud of her last week, she went to MCD's and did not get the toy she wanted, so shewent with her brother to the counter assistant and asked for an alternate toy.

All bold and stuff. I know it is a minor thing, but she had to stand in the queue with her brother and ask a person over the counter, and I thought that was progress.

They do all find thier place in social settings, they just have different places - they can't all be the pole dancer!!!

wow, thanks everyone for the input. It helps to hear from moms with older children who has seen the social development of babies.
She is a totally different person when with my husband and I, always laughing and exploring.
I am glad everyone reminded me not to push her too hard to be more outgoing, and not to call her a "shy baby". My 2 sisters with their children are very outgoing, so I thought all babies are like that. I guess she is more like me and my husband, quiet intelluctuals, not social butterflies. thanks again for the advice.

At least LO is not the only one. He is such a chatterbox when he's around people he knows, but put him in front of a stranger or someone he hasn't seen in a while and he clams up and shows no emotion. He takes a while to warm up to people and there are people at our flat that have met him everyday for the last year that still don't know what language LO speaks or understands cos he just won't talk in front of them. We would stand and wait for the lift and he would be yapping away and as soon as we step into a lift full of people he looks down and disappears behind my leg and won't say anything no matter what anyone says. And when we get off the lift he would want to whisper in my ear gossiping and pointing at the backs of those people

When we visit home everyone is happy to see him and they all want to hug him and chat to him but on that first day he would be so cold and sit stiffly on people's laps and be totally different from the boy that was chatting excitedly about the very same people that he was now facing. Its so strange. But now they understand that they must wait till the following day to get a smile from him and after that its all systems go

I don't think that it's something to worry about. Out of the 5 children in our family every single one of them went through a fase where they would be shy around strangers, sometimes even grandparents who they don't see very often.

I'm a stay at home mom to my LG and she had terrible stranger anxiety from very early on (10 weeks till 5.5 months) and she still burries her head in my shoulder when a stranger talks to her.

B gets to see her cousins often and loves the older ones (ages 5, 4, 3) but doesn't get along with her cousin who is 11 days older than her. She cries when he comes near her but when the CT July mommies get together she loves the other children her age.

I'd say get a group of mommies together for a play date and she if she likes interacting with children her own age.

My daughter who was 3, comes across in a one to one situation as very confident and will speak easily, and stand her ground. She is not a wall flower.

She joined a new school last year.

When I fetched her the one day, I was walking down the stairs with her, and we were chatting about her day and stuff as we usually do. There was a teacher's assistant waiting at the bottom of the stairs, until we came down so she could go up the stairs.

When I got to the base of the stairs, the TA said to me "wow, I did not know that child could speak, I have never heard her say a word..."

My daughter is mentally very sharp, understands concepts way past her years. But will not speak when there is an adult in the room that she does not know. Like totally shuts down.

Of course this makes her very difficult to assess, unless the person is a well trained teacher/specialist.

She will not perform in group activities and cannot be coaxed no matter what you do. She knows all the words to songs and can do the dances etc - put her in a group or ask her to show her teacher, and she just stands there like she does not understand the instruction.

(school concerts are a joy to behold as my child looks like a deer caught in headlights)

That is just the way she is - I can see how she changes when we are alone (or she is with her family/friends) to when a new person moves into her space.

Your daughter is still small, allow her time to develop as she wants to - I would put a note in my diary and have her assessed at about 3/4 years by an OT or the like just to make myself feel better.

But do not try to fix something that is not broke. She might just not be the social butterfly.