Hi Chris
From my experience in government and children's assessment centres, not making eye contact whilst feeding, or staring at the ceiling and lights etc are not signs of autism in and of themselves. they are part and parcel of normal and abnormal behaviour. They can be soft signs or markers for autism, which is usually diagnosed when a child is older. one of the first-level instruments used to screen for autism is the CHAT between 18 to 36 months, and looks at eye contact, social reciprocation, when the child enjoys being swung, bounced on the knee, do they take interest in other children, do they point at things that interest them, like the company of others, are withdraw, are fixated with objects, engage in repetitive stereotype behaviours etc. this this test along with measures of the childs cognitive functioning and social and adaptive behaviours, and a team of health professional opinions are then used to make a diagnosis, as Autism is a tricky disorder. in fact it is not so much a disorder as a constellation of signs and symptoms and is better understood as autism spectrum disorder. So your lg having one or two symptoms doesnt mean she is predisposed. was that the only concern the pead had? i wouldnt like for you to stress if it were just that for now.
hope that makes sense:)