Moms and Babes- What do you think?

haha, RM, I seriously laugh out loud at almost all your posts!
Ps. I reckon everyone is a little into Julz..

Anyway... Lord Dimi. It could have been me writing your story, I was also newly single when I fell pregnant..
I had just (finally after begging for 4 years!) gotten out of a 9 year relationshit when DH came along and impregnated me..
Ok maybe I was there, and in love and a little broody. Anyway,

i kinda see all this mommy business as the BIGGEST PROJECT OF MY LIFE. So I've been going through an insane transformation form 76 hours work and about the same amount of play to always looking for fun things for jude to do person.... It's been intensive.
I think thats what pregnancy is for.. To get you sober and settled for whats about to come!

Moomie has helped ALOT.. a hell of alot!
I'm also still searching for friends with kids, I have one/two but their kids beat up my child so I cant exactly just chill when we're hanging out... Sigh
I keep forgetting about the toddler class on thursdays that I keep saying I'll attend!

Hi Dimi

I am the poster child for Reluctant Mom - and Mommies who actually do not like kids.

I love my kids, and even like them - but I really would much rather lie on the couch watching Crime and Investigation channel and drinking wine, than doing arts and crafts and being astounded by whose face is hiding behind their hands.

But we are all different.

I really used to "beat myself up about it" for years why I could not be more in to it, and what was wrong with me and blah blah blah pancake!

Then I realised, we are just made differently.

I chose to be a mom - planned sex and everything. I planned it three times - meticulously.

So this was total choice. But I do choose to mother "my way" which might not quite be the soft lighting and skipping through daisies that other moms enjoy.

I have stopped trying to "fit in to the mom mould" a long time ago.

I wish I could say that it helped my sanity, but that is an entirely different conversation for a different day.

Moomie meets do happen, not often. So best not to hold your breath.

I really like Julz - not in a sexual way, but you know we never know where it might go. So I send her an email explaining that she was the bees knees and please would she be my friend.

She blushed, I woo'd her a bit, and then we went out for dinner.

We do not see each other often, but Julz gets to be Facebooked poked by me every so often.

My point - which I am not making is - the direct approach works best. If you connect with someone, send them a PM and try and set something up.

I do however suggest you start with adding a photo of yourself and some basic information about you.

It is doubtful that Moomies are going to be running out to meet you when you are only 4 posts in, and really could be a 65 year old man with a TIK habit, and simply 'playing the role' of a mom on this site for shits and giggles.

So share a little, hang around a bit.

You will see some people who you will click with - and some people who will repel you.

Moomie is full of moms in CT - so really they are there.

But they might be as shy as you are.

@Dimi. You've come to the right place! Moomie is the only place I get to be honest about not being in line (by a long shot) for the "Mommy-of-the-year" award!

The Cape Town moomies have awesome meets (SOOOO JEALOUS by the way!) and I'm sure you'll fit right in.

There are a lot os us "reluctant moms" here. We all love our offspring to bits, just not all-consumed with them & the fact that they haven't made a poo in two days!

My moms-&-tots group is in Sandton & all the moms live in the Sandowns and Hyde Parks of this world (VERY posh Jhb suburbs) so ya, there is a subtle "us" & "them" kinda vibe but heck, I couldn't be bothered! Haven't taken Elam back this term though. I simply don't have the time & her dad doesn't either so recreation for her is now Saturdays spent at the park or these indoor play-places like Yeesh. I also encourage our nanny to take her outdoors to run around and play in the afternoons. I think she'll be ok...

Love your username... Reluctant Mom!

What you say is true... it is always difficult to adapt to life as a mum... now imagine this happens in the most unexpected, unplanned of ways... just a few months earlier you were single and really enjoying being single for once and, boom, all of a sudden there is no way on earth you can enjoy any of that anymore, and what has replaced it is, really, not fun at all.

Don't get me wrong, I love my son (although I often wonder if I shouldn't love him more) and things have worked out pretty well: his dad and I are still together and in love, and I'm pretty sure he helps me out with the baby a lot more than most men would.

The problem is I can't help that all this mummy stuff sounds kind of depressing to me. Like you say I really don't need to talk about my kid all the time, it's bad enough that he has taken over my whole life, and when I sit in a baby activity class (only been to one so far) or whatever you call them I sit there wishing I was somewhere else. But at the same time I do feel the need to be with other moms because in many ways I can no longer relate to my kidfree friends, and sitting at home with a little creature than can only say baa boo bee (but still manages to exaust me everyday) is really getting to me.

Anyway this is all very recent, after all Micah is only 7 months, and I'm sure with time I'll fit in somewhere, somehow, so that's something to look forward to... or so I tell myself all the time!

Actually I just wanted to say thanks for the reply, this forum really does seem like it might be able to help me a little. Do you girls ever get together? Are any of you in Cape Town?

Hey Dimi - I feel your pain.

The bulk of the friends in our circle do not have children, so it is us and our 3 kids and our "rocking it single" friends when we go out.

Part of it is that if you have friends without kids and still want to maintain that friendship - you need to organise a great babysitter and commit to going out with them at least once a month, ideally every 2nd week, so you can still keep those friendships going.

I must confess to meeting some really nice moms on Moomie with kids.

But I tended to be attracted to the ones who do not talk about their kids. In other words I like them and getting together with them, but I would prefer us not to be talking about our kids when we do it.

Having a child can be very isolating.

It sort of shifts who we are, and where we fit in - and many of us have a hard time dealing with the change and trying to maintain a social life.

Sea Point

Sea Point.