Now that the high of the new school year has passed and the kids have settled into school and started taking part in sporting activities, it is the best time to post about how to act/support your kids during sporting events.

There is a right and wrong way 

We all know the dads and their sons - especially on the rugby field – who can get a bit rough when it comes to "encouragement". But what we as parents sometimes forget is that there is a right and wrong way of supporting your child on the sports field. Supporting your child should be done in such a way that your child finds it supportive and encouraging. Some kids like to hear it when their names are shouted (in a positive way) from the side-line, but others find it embarrassing. I think the best way to be sure of this is to ask your child how is the best way for you to support them and then to do what they asked.

It is their sport, not yours

The most important thing to remember when it comes to your child’s sporting activities is that that is exactly what it is: your child’s sport not yours. I personally dream of my girls being drum majorettes because it's my sport but I know that they have their own interest. Amandalynn loves hockey and soccer while Lorelai loves horses and gymnastics so I need to be mindful of what they want and how to correctly support them.

Stay positive

We all want our children to excel in everything they do and be the best of the best, as parents we treat them like superstars from the day that they are born. “If you can dream, it you can do it” comes to mind. But as parents we also need to be realistic in having those dreams for our children. My daughter plays A team hockey because she has ball skills that the other kids have not learnt yet due to private coaching but she is slow and does not run on the field. From Grade 4 the other kids will start to learn those ball skills which mean she will get bumped down to the B, maybe even C, team. My point is I as parent need to be ok with this and prepare my child for this in a positive way.

Their lives, their choices

I have often told her that she needs to start running on that field if she wants to keep her position on the team, she cannot just think because she is A team now it will stay that way forever. I will not push her to work harder and put endless amounts of pressure on her. I give her the facts and then I give her options, what she decides to do with that are up to her. It kills me to see the “I am okay with C team” attitude but it is her life and her choice.

Reward what they do best

Then there are the parents around us who do not believe in being positive on the field no matter what. I have told some of those parents to shut up and stop screaming like a banshee at their children especially if my kid is on that field. We all believe our are children will be the next Springbok in whatever they are taking part in, but do you honestly think your child wants to be a Springbok if it means you are standing next to the field belittling them? I believe in reward for doing your best, when Amandalynn played a good game and her team lost, but I know she did her best she gets an ice cream or coke or just some treat as a reward. We do not believe in winning at all costs in my house, we believe in taking part, having fun and doing YOUR PERSONAL best at all times. I say this to my children daily and have even written about it before. 

Have fun with your children; make sure they see that you are proud of them even if they were playing at their worst, because taking part and being a part of a team is more important than the outcome of any game. This will teach your child that they are good enough for you as a parent no matter if they win or lose. - Charlotte Coetzee

Charlotte is the author of The Stilettomum and is a 29 year old mother of 2 wonderful girls Amandalynn (9) & Lorelai (5). By day (half day that is) she is a personal assistant to Advocates at the Cape Town High Court which allows her a semi flexible schedule to attend events and also be the soccer mom she always wanted to be. Her afternoons are mostly spent driving between extramural activities, doing homework, cooking and sometimes cleaning. She has been a part of the Moomie family since 2010 and has been blogging about children, maintenance, custody, love and so much more since round about the same time. You can follow her via Facebook / Twitter / Instagram / Pinterest / YouTube.