By Jan de Lange

One of a parent’s worst nightmares is finding out their child has been the victim of a sexual predator. These men and women walk among us, often hiding in plain sight with parents and children blissfully unaware of their presence until it’s too late. It can also be very difficult to tell benevolent interaction apart from predatory manipulation. Here are some of the things you can look out for:

The kindness of strangers

This is a particularly tricky one. Sometimes strangers are just friendly by nature, in a good mood or thought a quick conversation seemed contextually appropriate. While this often is the case, and spontaneous conversations where a stranger takes an interest in things like your child’s name and age are usually innocent, beware of anyone who strikes up conversation with your child when you’re not present. Those who ask for directions, even if well dressed, should immediately raise a red flag. Someone who seemingly deliberately seeks a pretext to interact with your child is usually cause for alarm.

Age appropriate

Do you notice an adult who openly seems to prefer the company of children over their own peer group? Well, many predators identify more with their intended victims’ peer group than their own. Keep in mind the red flag here isn’t necessary enjoying the company of children – this is a trait of many well-adjusted adults with no ill intent – but a preference for the company of children over that of adults. This is by no means a completely accurate indicator of predatory nature, but adults who show a clear preference for the company of kids over that of adults should be taken note of.

Types of predator

Sexual predators are broadly considered to fall into three categories: coercive, opportunistic, and manipulative. Child molesters are usually manipulative. They develop a relationship with an intended victim and then exploit that relationship to prey on their target. Unfortunately, many predators find their way into professions that involve working with children. Others intentionally befriend parents with children in their target age group. Schools, hospitals, and volunteer organisations that work with children require anyone employed on-site to be in possession of a valid police clearance certificate. While this goes a long way to reducing the risk of predators infiltrating these organisations it by no means guarantees it. Also remember that sexual predators aren’t always strangers – sometimes they’re your own relatives and friends!

The best way to protect your children from these predators is to avoid any room for a relationship with them. Keeping them out of your and your kids’ lives renders them ineffective. However, it is also important that you instil habits of communication with your kids. Probing techniques that subtly lay the groundwork for a predatory relationship can still be employed when you are not present, but ensuring that your child knows to discuss any adult interaction out of the ordinary with you keeps you in the know.