Is a C-section really that bad?

Hi, i've tried to ignore this thread for some time now- but often find myself reading the replies. I have no recollection of what should have been an amazing, magical experience. I am mother to gorgeous twin daughters, now 14weeks old. On the evening of 28 dec last y my dh finally convinced me that we should go to hosp- i was then 34w5d pregnant and was hoping to get to 36w. That wasn't to be as one baby was really starting to lag behind in weight and my stand-in gynae decided to deliver them. They were born on the 29th via cs and yes i was fully conscious and even have photos of me holding gemma. But i developed post- partum haemorhage c dic(clotting and bleeding problem), received 19l of blood, went into theatre another 3times and eventually had a hysterectomy , was on full ventilation and sedation for about 5d. Only moved to the normal ward on 10jan and left hospital on the 15 th. I dont remember anything about the surgeries and only have vague memories of icu. But i'm glad to be alive and able to take case of my darling girls. So for me the birth isn't the be all and end all. Just holding my babies make me realise how precious life is no matter how they came into this world.

I think a c-section like a vaginal birth affects all of us differently.

<forgive me as I have a bit of a moment here, I am having a raw few weeks, so my ability to be less direct is lacking - skip on if you do not want to be offended>

We all have had different experiences, and even after my three c-sections, I do not attempt to act as the formal spokes person for all c-sections, as I fully get what I experienced and what the next person experienced is totally different.

Birth at the end of the day is a personal thing - not only because we go into it with huge emotional expectations, but because it is about our bodies, our minds and our babies - and the choices we make (or are forced to make) at that moment, are for the protection of ourselves and our babies.

I love that we have choices.

I hate that woman judge woman for these choices.

I hate that woman judge woman for these choices, even subtly.

I hate that woman make woman feel "less than" because of how they chose to birth thier child.

I know women who have had great c-sections, and who have had great v-births.

I know women who have had horrible and traumatic c-sections, and who have had horrible and traumatic v-births.

What ever we do has consequences - and we live with those because of the decisions we made (or had to make, or in some cases were made for us) on that day.

Unless you were there on the day, with that baby in your pelvis, then you do not have the right to judge another woman's birth choice.

I know many of the comments here are "just" comments and I might be a tad over emotional today, but many comments in a thread of this nature often have a taint of judgement connected to them.

I think this lamenting about the "perfect" birth - whether it is a c-section of a v-birth puts so much pressure on moms who are about to birth, and puts so much guilt and defending on the part of moms who have birthed.

Listen, I used to get on my soap box and defend my territory like the next hormonally soaked woman, about birth.

Been there, done that, bought the spoon at the gift shop on my way out.

But time has taught me - that birth is one day, one event, in the journey that is your child.

It is a bit (in my opinion, MY OPINION, ONLY MY OPINION) like sitting and getting upset about something that went wrong at your wedding.

Your wedding is huge- but it is huge for one day - and then you have the rest of your life to make a relationship with your partner, and that is what is important.

The more time goes by and the more things that happen to me between now and the day I physically expelled my kids out of my body, I have come to realise that FOR ME there is just so much other stuff to focus on, that sit and argue about what is right and what is wrong, and whose pain level should be believed.

The debate on the "right" birth always - even with the best intention - turns into an angry defensive conversation - because many women feel they have to defend what happened on thier birth day, and other women feel they got it all right, and feel a need to laud it over others.

I did not have the perfect birth days - however I have three kids who do not care how they arrived in the world. I am not sure they actually care if they were breast fed or formula fed actually.

I love that we can offer our experiences here for other women to learn from - I do just get irked that "our" experiences often become the "right" experiences and it makes other women feel "less than."

Interesting topic and I really do like the passion in which many of you speak!

Really it is a very personal thing and I was so for natural my whole pregnancy. Having said that, I had high blood pressure at the end and so being alreay 2cm dilated at 38weeks 6 days, we went in to be induced for fear of the baby and i going into crisis.

On arrival for induction, when moitoring me and baby, baby was already in crisis with his heart rate plumetting to 56 bpm several times. Naturally, we chose for them to take out the baby immediately with a c-section. The doc STILL gave me a choice, but didnt recommend natural since the baby was not happy.. I couldnt wait Iwas scared for my babies life!

I was not prepared for a C section at all, but I chose it to save my baby.. and I was pleasantly surprised. I think the specifics also make a difference. The anaethetist I think, made a huge difference to my experience. He kept me focused on the experience, he included my hubby telling where to stand to get the best of it, he ensured I was covered as much as I could be, he protected my and my husbands dignity by prewarning us of what was to come and giving us choices along the way. ( being a dad of 5 kids, he seemed escited for us and he kept on saying, come here Dad, stand here, they are about to take out your baby, Mom, Here he comes,Look at your boy! He wiped my tears In the theatre they had music playing and the staff were a real team.. I honestly was terrified of the epidural and the worst part was the prick of the needle..

If I were to have one again, I would request that anaethetist. I would also discuss my wishes post c-sec about what I wanted to do with baby. Differnt hospitals follw different proceedures and once I was wheeled back to my room I was not allowed to see my baby until I'd had TEA!!! ( they wanted to bring my sugar levels up before me trying to breatfeed. I was actually almost hysterical.. I didnt feel that they had a right to deny me my son and in the moment my husband felt I was overreacting!! The nurse said my baby was in the incubator and that it was good for him! Next time, I will insist that if my baby is healthy he stays with me for the first few hours!

I hated the feeling of my legs feeling paralysed and when they had to wipe me and clean me up like Nelria said, but it was over soon.. I personally tried not to take the meds in the beginning and quickly realised that the pain was not worth it, so i took them religiously!

The scar was itchy but neat and tidy and my tummy is a little flabbier but for me its not the end of the world and I havent tried flattening it properly with excercise since..

I recovered pretty quickly and could walk up stairs and pick up baby. I quickly learned when using stomach muscles in the beginning to apply pressure with one hand to the area to avoid the stinging pulling sensation of when I used them too much.

We can drive after a few weeks, but my gynae warned that it is if you have to slam on brakes you wouldnt be able to, and since different people recover at different rates, its not recommended as a standard rule for 6 weeks.

Having had a c-section, I would do it again. My personal feeling is that my baby needs to be in utero as long as I can, so an elective c-sec which you book in advance is not for me. I would rather wait as long as possible, and when my waters break or there are other LATE signs or problems with me or baby, I will happily book myself in!


Good luck with your decision, it is such a highly personal choice that you need to weigh up!

Hayley so refreshing to hear a mom stand up for what was important to her with pride.

I guess that is key. Make your choise and don't feel guilty about it.

Often it is harder when your choice doesn't pan out and then yes the experience may not be nice because as humans when we go through something we didnt' expect we tend not to enjoy it that much.

My c section was actually fine. I was heartbroken and will always be, but it was fine. I really wanted to actually birth my child and I didn't get to. Yes c section moms can say they did , but I felt cheated. The doctor birthed my child for me.

It saved him though and that is part of what counts. Don't for one mintue think though that the birth isn't about you and your wishes and feelings too because it is. Lets face it, it is such an extraordinary even in our lives, one that we get to do so few times so it is important that it is special and if that is a c section for you then that is perfect and if a natural birth is what you want then that too is perfect.

I believe your recovery depends alot on your state of mind. I recon that is why c section moms that elect to have one may recover quicker and take it in their stride as it was their choice to have one.

From the baby perspective, we know that there are many benefits to the baby with natural birth like the lungs that are cleared during the birth and the hormones that are released through labour. It is generally safer for both mom and baby, but c sections are pretty safe these days with minimal risks and they do save lives.

Memo, I dont think a c-section affects the spine - both my girls have had no problems needing to go to a chiro for spinal adjustments, but I know of quite a few natural moms who have had to take their children.

I have just started working my way through this thread and I need to ask... What about your baby?
Obviously you also care about these effects. I have only ever spoken to friends who have had baby at chiropractor after cesarean. It seems like a very common thing.. The baby needs to have his/her spine realined because it did not happen during the birth..
A friend of mine went with her sisters child and said she cried so hard, and since she is also a masage therapist, she knows just how sore the pressure point was that they were triggering.
I did not have a cesear, and yes I am pro natural, but I'm also pro choice. I just wanted to share something that should not be overlooked.

lol, this topic is bound to get heated. My body my rules, that's the way i decided it was gonna be. I chose to have a C-section, mind u, i am the the biggest baby on this planet. Recovery time 21/2 weeks. Staircase: first day home a bit sore , but i took it easy.
Scar: healed niceley, loads of castor and bio oil.
i have had family and friends advise against it, but if i had to do it again, that's the way i will go. Yep, for the ladies that say :im too posh to PUsh".....lol
i agree, i am. i believe if there are medical options avail, u choose,
go with what your heart says. At the end of the day, it's baby, u and hubby....
oh, make sure u take yr meds, loved that feeling, and i am not afraid to say so .... i called them "happy pills"
and get the Mirena belt on, as soon as u can...
Most importantly whatever option u choose, let it be your own, go in with an open mind.