Bullied into having sex with partner

I am glad that he apologized but I do not approve at the way he handles things.I take it as emotional abuse and cleaning and doing the dishes doesn't heal the emotional wound but only soothes the heart that at least he shows remorse.My dear the only way to solve this is by communicating,tell him how you do not appreciate him pointing a finger at you,raising a voice at you etc.... stating all the things that he does when he is throwing tantrums.He got you pregnant and should support your roller coaster all the way cause there are times that you don't even feel like getting of the bed,he should be the one making you food.He is your FI yes but I think he also have a selfish character.

There are some men who get none through the whole pregnancy cause of their women's state of health and he is lucky that he often gets when you can give him.It is only few weeks to go and he can have his food ready for him(sex).Enjoy the rest of your remaining weeks and remember you and baby comes first

Thankyou for all the wonderful responses!!! It really made me feel better!!!

he did appologise for his behavior, altho this is the second time he's thrown the biggest tantrum over his needs.....but for now everything is calm and he feels guilty for the way he acted, and is trying to make up for it by doing things for me like the dishes and cleaning up, I wish it would stay like this

may you all have a great day!
xx

Hi Shaz,

How absolutely devastating that you are having to deal with crap like this at a time where you need the full support and understanding from your partner.

If this is an isolated incident I am sure you will be able to work through it as a couple. If however it is the norm I would say you have a more fundamental problem on your hands.

My partner and I had some nasty showdowns when I was pregnant but mostly as a result of my fluctuating hormones - and never about not getting sex! He never stepped over our “line” though and if he came close it was never ever in the distinctly threatening tone I’m picking up in your email. Your partner is in the wrong and if he doesn’t see how what a total shit he was to behave in the manner he did to his 35 wk pregnant partner entering the really tough period, it is unlikely he will in the future without some kind of intervention. I do hope you have a good support structure in place other than him.

I don’t know your circumstances but sincerely hope it is not as bad as it is sounding..

Wowweeeee ....... goodness I am not sure quite what to say here!

Clearly part of the issue is that you and DF need to have a serious conversation about couples, and how we respect each other and and and .....

But that being said, you are pregnant and as much as "we" got you pregnant, you are the lucky one who gets a giant baby in your pelvis.

If you DF is struggling now, can I seriously suggest you look at your medical aid plan and see what the limit is on psychology/therapy visits and you two go along for a bit of couple counselling.

Once baby is out, a lot of woman really really struggle to get back on the horse again. It is not just that you might have expelled a baby out of your ying-yang, but often your hormones are all over the show, you are more exhausted, and also having a baby also often changes the way we view ourselves.

So suddenly we are not just a single girl swinging off a chandelier, we are now a mother and that can well, to put it rather crudely f&k with your head, and make sex in the first year a challenge.

However that being said some new moms stop for sex on the way home from the hospital, but the point I am trying to make, is just because babe is out of the "womb" does not mean that you are going to be ready to go.

And at least if DF is a bit dim, he can see baby is in, and that image sometimes helps him "be patient" - but baby out may click him into "so what is the problem?"

Shaz - clearly I was not there, and if I was DF would have a spade firmly embeded into his forehead, so I am not sure if this is an isolated case, or what the circumstances were.

But you would know best - and spend a bit of time reflecting on this and whether this is a totally freak occurance, with many mitigation circumstances which you might not have indicted here, or whether you need to maybe rethink where you are in your life, and whether you really need to be with this absolute Prince you are shacking up with.

I agree with Julz, he has hand, so let him use them!

He seems very inconsiderate. I woudl have bit his finger or something!

My poor DH has had a very dry spell, but he has never as much as complained! I just find all the evidence that he had a jolly good time himself, and I have no problem with it as long as I dont have to give up the goods when im not in the mood.

Arghhhhh... Shaz - your post made me want to cry. You need to let him know how you feel, and what you expect. But you need to realise that the outcome might not be what you want or need. And you need to figure out what you'll do in any eventuality. I consider what he did last night to be emotional abuse. It's horrible, and it not how ANYONE should be treated, nevermind a pregnant lady.
Maybe he was just having a really bad day and he took it out on you - and will apologise. But only you know if that's the case. Wishing you lots of strength.

@Shaz. I wish I could tell you there was some kind of justifaction for what your DF did, but unfortunately, I don't think there is. (& I'm a person who usually gives ppl a lot of rope...)

Late pregnancy is SO exhausting!!! You are literally carrying about 3kg's around all day. It's heavy on your pelvis, your hips, and you've just about had it with this pregnancy by now. It's uncomfortable to stand/sit/walk/drive/sleep and the last thing u need is added pressure for sex. If you want it at this stage, he should take it a HUGE bonus cos modt of us don't at 35 weeks, definitely not pressurizing you despite u explaining to him that u are tired and even explaining why u are so tired. (u shouldn't even have to)

Maybe (& this is in the spirit of peace,love & happiness), maybe he really doesn't understand. so, I guess u have very little choice but to sit down with him when u aren't feeling emotional and angry and try to understand what is going through his mind...

As for sticking his finger in your face...there's no excuse for that.