Those who have planned another baby...

Hi Nayeela

Congrats on your decision and may your ttc journey be most enjoyable

I just want to say that I read all the reponses with a bit jealousy... 3 weeks after the girls were born I was admitted to cardiac icu with pregnancy induced heart failure (called peri partum cardiac myopathy) basically my cardiologist & gynae are advicing against further pregnancy as there is a great likelyhood that I will develep the heart failure again and an even greater chance that it will be worse than the one I had (which was really really bad).Its not a given that I will develop it again but there is a very good chance & Im not willing to take that chance as I want to see the twins grow up.

DH and I never planned to have more than 2 but it pains me to have the choice almost taken away,so im happy for all you lovely ladies who still have that choice, its a precious one - im only appreciating it now !!

Hey Nayeela, that's great news! Good luck with your ttc journey. Hope everything goes smoothly.

I sure can vouch that my kids are already enjoying each other and the love that nr 2 added to our family can not be described with words!

Mummoo and Claire - Thank you for taking the time to reply. I appreciate that you both have shared some of your personal experiences with me. It helps to hear that things will still be ok if you have 2 or more DH and I have both decided to start TTC end of December Hoping we will be bless next eyar with another one. I am glad that DH came on board without any pressure from my side

Hi Nayeela,

I am currently pregnant with number 2. For me, it was not optional and here's why. I grew up in a big family (we were 5 kids) and I loved it. We didn't always have what we wanted but always what we needed. We had to work hard for what we wanted and it really taught us to be hard-working people who really value the things we have earned. Things are more pricy now but I wouldn't give up one of my siblings for anything.

I think an only child has a very lonely childhood. In reality, as close as you are to your LG, you won't be when she's older. There were things that I would never speak to my mom about but would speak to my sister like boys and silly teenage stuff. Sometimes, what I told her she told my mom and then my mom knew what was going on and could step in if needed. Also, when it came to having a play-mate, my brother and I spent every day together, we were never bored. Plus, having siblings helps develop good personality traits. They usually tease you, so you can handle it when you start school. You have to share and you learn how to live with people which gives you better people skills.

The other thing to think of is when your LG is grown up. Nothing can replace family. My mom died a few years ago and I'm so happy that I have someone to remember her with. Plus my sister and I have had our children together (she's pregnant now too) so we are still sharing things and helping each other out.

So for me, it was more about how much I would be giving to my boy by giving him a sibling. Yes, he won't get as many toys, but honestly, toys get boring - another human being doesn't. Yes, he won't get all my attention but he'll have an adoring younger brother or sister who will probably worship him (as younger siblings usually do) Plus I know that if anything should ever happen to my DH and I, he will always be connected to another person. He will always have a family.

That being said, I think that this is a very personal decision. This is just why I decided to turn our lives upside down (again)

Hi Nayeela

I have a little 2 and a half year old daughter (born on 27 Feb 2009 at Constantiaberg too!). I have always known I wanted more than one as I think having siblings are the best. And so did my hubby. It was just a matter of deciding on the age gap. We decided on a 3 year age gap and lo and behold I am currently 23 weeks preggies with twin girls. The pregnancy was planned, it being twins.... well, not really. They will be born short of my LG's 3yr bday. I was excited, yet anxious that we are going from 1 to 3 straight away. Though I do see it as a tremendous blessing as well, especially when I hear of mothers who can't/ struggle to fall pregnant.

We also give H all the attention and love in the world but I really think having 2 more sisters will enrich her lif so much more. I want H to grown up with lots of love and values, rather than lots of things. We live a comfortable life now, though will have to see what life is like after the twins!

Its such a personal decision, so good luck!

Let us know when you fall preggies

Thank you girls for all your answers.

Its a big big decision and for now I am still unsure about it. When K throws a tantrum then I thank god that I do nto have another child but then when all is going well, I think that it would be so great to have another one I think I need to wait it out a bit longer and see if in a couple of months I still want another one.

DH does not want another one at all. He only wants K so not too sure if he will have a change of heart at some stage. He was the same before we even had K though. He actually never wanted children but I always wanted to have a child so convinced him to TTC and now he is totally in love with K. I am hanging on to all of K's stuff (cot, pram etc). Last night we were packing a box for charity and we came across K's changing mat and he said" Give it to Charity as it's cheap to buy that so we can always get another one" Anyways that just told me that he is somehow open to the possibility of having a second one Lol!

We knew we wanted more than one and decided to not wait too long - I was very lucky to fall pregnant each time very quickly

You cope because you have to If your second one is close in age to the first you still have the big things - cot, pram, car chair etc etc - so it is cheaper initially. Also you dont buy all the unneccesary stuff you did with the first because you realise most of it is not vital.

I think your lifestyle does change then you have one child so yes with the second one it does change a little more.

It does become easier simple because its not your first time so you know the baby will come to no harm if it cries, you know you dont have to breast feed, you expect the lack of sleep etc etc - so yeah it does become easier is many ways but it is an adjustment!