This mom chose to share her story here but wanted to remain anonymous. She has since married and has two children of her own. Moomie interviewed her about her journey.  

How old were you and your boyfriend when you found out you were pregnant? 

I was 18 years when I had the abortion done. The father of the child was 24.

Did the baby's father know you were pregnant?

I did tell him I suspected I was pregnant, but I never confirmed to him I was pregnant.

You’ve ended the relationship two weeks before you find out you were pregnant, did you have any contact again after that?

I contacted him to let him I know I think I'm pregnant and once I knew for sure I never spoke to him again - he also never asked again.

At how many weeks did you have your abortion?

I was 10 weeks and 5 days pregnant. I found out at 9 weeks.

Where did you go for your abortion? And how does it work? How do the people (doctors/nurses) treat you? Do they prepare your for what is about to happen? Do they offer you any emotional support afterwards?

Marie Stopes Clinic in Pretoria. You pitch up and take a seat and wait - it’s a first come first serve basis, it was basically walking into a normal GP's rooms. The receptionist was very friendly and helpful but very used to all these women coming to have an abortion. It’s a very blasé atmosphere. The waiting room was filled with women aged from about 15 and the oldest woman was in her forties and from all walks of life. There was a woman who had very expensive clothing and jewellery and a young girl who could barely survive from day to day. Once its your turn you go in for a scan to see how far along you are, then I went to the counsellors' office. She was very friendly and explained everything that was going to happen and asked if this is my decision or was I being pushed into it? She asked a lot of questions to make sure I was mentally prepared for the abortion and of sound mind. She was truly amazing! Because I was over eight weeks already, they perform a surgical procedure where they remove the baby vaginally. It was the worst pain I had ever experienced. The doctor who performed the surgery was extremely supportive and I didn’t feel judged, not once. The nurses were also very sympathetic. After the procedure they help you to the recovery room and that’s it - you wait until you feel better and you can go.

How did your body feel after the abortion? 

I was in a lot of pain - I felt very ‘empty’. It took about three days before the pain stopped. The bleeding lasted about a week.

Did someone, friend or family member went with you, or did you go alone to have the abortion?

My older brother went with me

Did you feel like you’re all alone with the emotional feelings? Do you know someone else that had an abortion as well that you can talk to?

I felt very alone as I knew no one that had gone through this. I felt ashamed and that no one truly understood what I was feeling

Right after you had the abortion, what were your first thoughts?

I was relieved - and then I felt guilt for being relieved.

Have you changed as a person after you had the abortion?

Definitely, I grew up that day. I realized my actions have consequences and I had to face them. I also learnt to not be judgemental about other peoples' choices. You don’t know any ones reasons for doing what they do.

How were you relationship with men after you had the abortion?

I didn’t date anyone and stayed single for about three years after that. I wasn’t interested in relationships or sex at all.

Except for you parents and your husband, who else knows about your pregnancy and especially your abortion? What were their reactions/opinions on your decision to go for an abortion?

My grandmother knew, she was very supportive of my decision. My best friend also knew and she was a bit judgemental and didn’t understand my decision. We spoke about the abortion and my reasons and we are still best friends today.

If your children are in the same situation that you were, will you also support them to have an abortion?

I will respect their decision but I will also make sure they have other options. I would be honest and tell them about my experience and hopefully that would also help them understand why I can give the best advice, I've been though it.

How did you make peace with the fact that you've aborted a child?

I felt guilt and ashamed for a very long time and also felt like I didn’t deserve happiness or a family one day. I then turned to Christianity and prayed and asked God for forgiveness and that’s what got me through the guilt. I no longer have guilt about the abortion.

Why choose abortion above giving your child up for adoption?

If I had chosen adoption, I knew once the baby was born I wouldn’t be able to give it up. My decision on abortion over adoption was purely selfish.

Do you regret having an abortion?

No, I don’t. Although I had feelings of guilt for a long time I have never regretted it.

People are very judgemental about abortion, how does it make you feel?

Before my abortion I was very judgemental too, so I do understand why people feel that way. Until people are in a situation, they tend to judge. There are sometimes comments that hurt, but for the most part I don’t let people bother me about it. I made the right decision for myself at the time

What is your advice to women out there that consider abortion?

If you are 100% sure on abortion, speak to people. Speak to your family or friends afterwards and don’t go through those feelings alone. But also understand that there are other options and you don’t need to go through any of the options alone.