Moaning 16 month old

Dear ladies ... i have to laugh sorry ... you know why I am in THE SAME SITUATION AS ALL OF YOU!!!!

My daughter kills me eacha nd every single day. At schoool she is like this angelic princess and the moment we enter the garage at home my angel turns into a lil gremlin. I swear her horns come out of her head.

She moans for anything and everything. If i sit if i stand if i walk away. Or she hugs my legs and drags herself. The only time she stops is if i carry her.

So i dont cook anymore when i get home i go outside with her ona sunny day with a glass of wine in my hand some snacks (usually fruit pieces) and juice for her and i let her play outside in her sandpit or she loves to go in her swing. In the end i have a content child who loves the outdoors.

I then cook when hubby gets home

I sing this song for her when it all goes manic ... I am a little moanie a moanie and a groanine... i like to moan alot ... moan moan moan ... she usually stops

hello everybody

i have 3 kids and they are all 3 so different.
my eldest potty trained day and night nappy by 13 months, very very strange but she hated a nappy and the only thing she wanted was potty wee and her dolly potty wee.
my 2nd LG only potty trained when she turned 3 yrs old.
my lil boy is now 18 months and tells me when he made a poo poo but i wont say he is any where near training so im not even going to bother trying now, will leave it till summer again year end.

as for tantrums, my eldest thrived on throwing a tantrum about every single thing, luckily never in a shop, and even if i left her to do her tantrum she would scream till she is blue, really, distracting her made it even worse, so she would just have to cry it out.
angelique now nealry 4 yrs, hates being in trouble, she will rather avoid a situation and not get into trouble. when she has done something wrong she will cry and then take herself to her room.
bardon my 18 mnther, is a darling, i can count the times he has tantrumed on 1 hand, and i dont know if its still coming hoping not, but he is such a sweet child, dont have a prob with him ever.

im sorry if i dont have advice for anyone. but as julz says, no kid has gone to school weaing nappies before and sucking dummies and bottles, they do overcome all this even though it feels like its never gonna end!

xxx

Vamo I think all kids hate being strapped in when they have learned to walk. Imagine you can walk. You have just realised you have freedom and then your mom straps you in a car seat. I would get annoyed too. It does pass though and walking is then taken for granted and they then want you to carry them again etc.

Kids don't like toys until age 2 or more. Honestly only now in our group of moms are the kids playing with toys.

As for potty training. Some parents put their kids on the potty and there are moms that now do it from birth but the part of the brain that enables the child to understand the concept of them peeing only develops much later.

Potty training is the one thing that should be left to the toddler to do by himself. He/she will let you know when they are ready. It can be from 18 months (unusual) to 4 years of age with boys training a bit later. You see very few adults around with nappies so don't stress. Forcing the issue is going to cause psychological issues with regards to potty training and it may hinder the process.

As for kids being lonely. Not the case at all. Infact some studies show that only children are happy children. We as parents must be careful not to assume your child feels a particular way. Remember toddlers have limited emotions compared to Adults.

Children don't interact with other kids until around age 2 anyway so don't stress about your kids making friends.

As for naughty. I don't believe in the word at this age. They are learning and part of the learning is them testing the boundaries which you need to set. They keep touching the same object to see if you will allow them to touch it now and again in 10 minutes. If you keep on saying no over they will eventually get the message. If you allow a behaviour they will behave that way and if you say yes this time and no next time you will create a confused and frustrated toddler.


I have seen now that after many tantrums with Dylan the best thing to do is to :

Acknowledge his emotion. EG Yes Dylan I know you want the book. I see that you are unhappy because you can't have it.

Then I distract him or reason with him. EG you can't have this book, but lets go to your room and get your aeroplane book. etc

Most importantly don't give in depsite the tantrum. He will begin to understand that when you explain why he can't have something, he won't get it regardless.

Sorry for the long post and all the info. Changing my aproach to dylan has helped us alot.

Hi Gals, hope the new year is...so far so good...under the circumstances

I am sorry I have no advice to the question asked but to just add my million frustrations with my 16 month old boy!
I can relate to ALL your experiences and to put the cherry on top...he HITS me Gals
I have tried everything I have read from psychology textbooks from first year at varsity hoping to find something I thought maybe I have missed in my training over the years
My son hates all his toys, to be strapped in his carseat, to sit in his stroller at the shopping malls. If I want to have a peacefull shopping I have to carry him on my back, yes on my back! then he will be bouncing as if he is riding a horse . I have became immune to the horrible looks I get from people whenever he does something naughty.
I know being the only kid in the house, he gets lonely but have tried making friends for him BUT after a minute the poor friend will be screaming blue murder because he has either bitten or hit the innocent child all in the name of playing . As I'm saying this...I'm reaching my handbag for an aspirin
Once you Gals find a formula/solution, please do remember this little person called ME

Thanks Julz - I think I got my Little one semi figured out over the weekend. My thoughts are that he is lonely when he has to go home and there are no kids around, plus the frustration of me putting him in his walking ring, because I was a bad mom and dropped a headache tablet once and when I got to him he had sucked on it already - so after picking him up from school things are so rushed by getting his supper ready, bath, me bath , me make supper.... over the weekend I did not put him in the walking ring once, and I gave him pieces of toast with diffrent spreads on to eat by himself and it was as tough he was a new child..... he did not moan once.

But now - the dressing things is still out of control, It is so hard to get a nappy on him and clothes are even harder - but I will start making a game of it, get him to undo his nappy... things like that... c how it goes.

U right though - I think in a year or two's time I will be missing this.

Another question though - I have a friend - she has a 5month old, and as a rule she is putting her daughter on a "potty" at least 5 times a day to start getting used to it - when is the ideal age to start trying this? I doubt my one year old will even look at the potty twice as something interesting?

Your toddler has something to tell you and he/she has no way of being able to hence the moaning.

It is normal for a child to seem to want something only to push it away once they get it. Their little developing egos are in a constant state of struggle within which is why they do this. (My last 10 min in therapy is usually spent talking about my struggles with dylan so I get 10 min child psychology too).

Ideally you need to allow them a safe environment to express these emotions. They need be feel acknowledged as annoying as it may be!!! If we supress the little ego at this stage the child may later become very withdrawn unable to express himself which may lead to a an adult that has an unhealthy ego. We do however need to have boundaries so that the ego doesn't develop in such a way that there is no control at all.

Ideally you need to tell your child (now already even if you feel they don't understand you) that you understand that they are upset, angry hurt etc but that we still can't touch xyz etc. Ie their emotions are acknowledged but the boundary is still in place.

I promise it gets easier once your lo can tell you what they want. You will however start to feel like a waiter, but at least the moaning stops.

This is yet another phase. One that I promise you will miss some day.

Marilu i think your LO and LO were seperated at birth cos they are both just the same. I get so tired and somehow after being patient for so long i lose it and then i feel terrible for shouting at her. She moans for every single thing. She moans at every change of diaper / clothes / to eat / to sit / to get in the car seat. My neighbours probably think that i am abusing my child. She has also learnt to scream and cry ...

I hope it gets better really i do ... im just so tired ..