she is already asking

I am so glad we are discussing this because i feel very strongly about the world my son grows up in and the views he carries into adulthood.

Alot of the ideas passed down to most of us from previous generations encourage such repression and secrecy and this definitely builds so much neurosis. I know i am neurotic about so much and i do not MJ growing up with the same issues, so i let him touch and play and when he is done i put his nappy back on and i say MJ can mommy but the nappy back on?
He takes his hand away and i put his nappy on.

We name body parts and i name his penis. At first it made me uncomfortable but i know that these were my issues and i am working on those. my child is his own person and no of the weight i have placed behind sexuality has anything to do with him. If there was ever innocence in sexuality it is you little baby who know no better masturbating

changing your 'script" - that is an amazing thing.

I know for sure that i have so many issues regarding my body and its parts and alot of it comes from the shame associated with these parts of my body. What a wonderful gift to impart to your daughters.

it makes me uncomforable too, i realy dont know how to act when i see her doing it.
if i tell her to do it in private and she shares that with her cousins when she grows up(lets just say at the age of 6), i will b in trouble mos if the cousins tell their moms ****scared of the looks on their faces when they receive the news**** or even worse imagine if she does that @ her grannies n tell her "mommy said is okay if i do it in private "

thanks for sharing this is a tough one.

he he he....How stepped into that one without thinking, I think it is time for coffee no.2!

GW - first I giggled at your phrase

We are truely blessed to have so much information at our fingertips

but that is because I am really childish when it comes to masturbation humour!!

I do think it is better that we are being more aware parents, but I do miss the days where you could just bark orders at your kids, and they woudl not speak in your presence and call you "ma'am" and "sir" or what ever.

It was a simpler time ....... possibly less anxious ....

RM: I am sure it also becomes more difficult to "guide" your children as they get older like you have mentioned.

I think it is great that moms take this seriously and not just do it like our parents did (which was clearly not the way to go!).

We are truely blessed to have so much information at our fingertips, I am sure maybe if our parents had the same amount of knowledge, things could have been different. I think asking for help in those days were a sign of a weakness, I don't know, but I am glad that times have changed!!!

Thanks GW for that link.

I wrote a reply on this thread yesterday, but for someone reason the "cyber space monster" ate it and it did not appear.

Just to recap, I have definitely had some "brain expanding" thinking in the last 3 weeks or so, which have rather shockingly shifted my map of the world.

One of the key issues (for me) is our relationship with our genitals - primarily as a woman.

I am aware that the message we put out there is that our genitals are dirty/unsanitary/shameful/yuck and should be avoided - so when our kids touch thier genitals our verbal and facials que's send them this message.

And then create a chain of events that often goes on into adult hood.

In reply to Zodwa's comment - I have decided with my 21 month old, to adjust my thinking and "allow" her to explore to her heart's content.

I am not going to pull her hand away, I am not going to pull a face, and I am not going to make a "disagreeable" sound.

I am not quite sure what to do with my nearly-6 year old and my 9 year old.

Both of them touch thier genitals - and I have also given them a verbal que to stop doing it.

I am really torn how to manage this issue and at the same time allow them to appreciate who they are, and thier bodies, and also create a healthy respect for thier bodies.

To be honest I am so confused right now - that I am going to opt for an appointment with a sexual therapist and just discuss this issue, so that I can manage it better with my kids.