temper tantrums!!

yip... also just to add, I use to get hidings for tantrums/sulking/breaking things etc.. I'm clumsy, easily depro and STILL have temper tantrums.

Thanks memo....

Claudia_B, I love your advice and I couldn't agree more with your suggestions.
Once I have changed my frame of mind about how I view my toddler, significant changes started to emerge even in her behaviour. Being more strict and saying no the whole time and seeing every moment as "I have to be firm now otherwise my child will be a hooligan for the rest of his life" has the exact oposite reaction in their behaviour in my opinion (making them even more difficult to handle).

Alfie Kohn is great, so is Pinky Mckay
I believe toddlers throw tantrums because they are frustrated and dont know how to express themselves appropriately yet. Concepts like wait, later, etc are foreign and imagine spending your whole life being told no.

James also has his moments, but distraction works a treat, and if it doesnt I just remove him from the situation or oblige as much as I can.
Eg in the shops today James was fussing in the trolley because he wanted to get to the balls on display, so I gave him one to play with and when I got to the till I put it aside rather than to play with.
I keep healthy snacks in my bag ALL the time, so when he starts screaming for something to eat that he wants, I whip out a peice of dried apple/ yoghurt rice cake instead.
When cooking I put the off cuts of veg into pots for him to stir so that he feels involved and stops trying to play with the stove (which he knows is a NO)
I have limited the amount of things that I say no to, so that he doesnt feel like the whole house is a funless zone.
I dont mind if it takes me 20mins longer to do something because he wants attention:)

thanks Gloei I always like the reads you recommend x

Here is a long read for those who wants to take a look at the temper situation from a different angle and not from the point of view that my child was born a demon and I will punish him untill he is an angel...

I ignore it. Sorry but lying in the floor smacking your fists is not acceptable. He gets up after less than 20 seconds, happy as Larry.

Whenever somebody posts a question about toddlers under age 2 throwing tantrums I kind of get a mini heart attack from the "terrible responses" in MY OPINION. I know parenting is tough and we all make mistakes, but really, sometimes I wonder about the future of the human race....

I read an interesting thing recently. The common phrase "terrible two's" does not exist in all cultures worldwide. It depends on the parents response to this phase and level of understanding and patience that determines this often dificult labeled phase.

Punishment will make tantrums worse or it will damage the relationship of trust between toddler and parent in my opinion.

I would recomend reading up on what is actually happening inside a toddler when he is having a tantrum before you start treating the symptom with punishment or any random tactic with the hope it might help.

I would highly recomend my latest favourite book:

"Unconditional parenting, by Alfie Kohn"

www.alfiekohn.org/up/index.html

or
this book

www.amazon.com/How-Talk-Kids-Will-Listen...id=1312475939&sr=1-1

I think I should excuse myself now and go and have a heart attack.