Should I move my 3 year old to a new creche?

Such a battle. I am also now having to decide again whether Emily goes to school next year (age 3.5) or stays home............

I am so nervous and really dont know what to do!!

Jules - I really hope you get the answers you need from the psychologist to guide the right choices for your son.

Schatsie - let us know when you have decided!

Hi Schatsie

We're from the Western Cape, Brackenfell. And you?

I would just love a creche with 24h CCTV cameras. Don't think I'll get a thing done at work though. I'll be zoomed in on the internet all day long

2 Months is not a very long time. But then, I might be comparing it to my son's experience of difficulty adapting over the 2 year period. But the fact that they can leave a new child at creche to cry his eyes out would leave me wondering and worrying too.

I'm not a very good one to give advice, but go with your instinct. Let me know what you decide. Good Luck!

Jules, maybe you could try something like Mindset for your son. I've heard Ritalin can have awful side effects and often makes kids have these weird screaming crying fits. Mindset is totally natural but apparently really good: www.sevenpointfive.com/products/mindset-...od-stress-supplement

Hi Jules

It sounds like your son has SPD (Sensory processing disorder) - as you say battling with everyday noise, sounds and textures. Good luck with the psychologist session and assessment - we went through something similar to determine what was wrong with my son due to his speech development delay.

Where are you based?

My son has been in this creche for just over 2 months.

When I asked the creche what was wrong with the little crying boy they also said it was his 2nd day and it is normal and they didn't take any notice of him! It really disgusted me!! They also said that my son only cries for a few minutes after I dropped him off, but how do I know whether this is true? These people seem so careless about the children, but my child is the most precious person in my life, so it just doesn't work for me! I wonder if I will ever find a creche that does make me happy... I know I am probably overly fussy since he is my only child and maybe because I battled for so long to fall pregnant with him.

Maybe I need to find one of those places where they have cameras everywhere and you can log in from work to see how it is going. I think that might be the only way I will ever allow him in a creche again after these 2 bad experiences!

Hi there

No, he is still at the same creche. For some or other reason my gutt tells me that the problem lies with my son and not the creche. Although one can never be absolute sure.

My Pediatrician diagnosed my son with ODD (Oppositional Defiance Disorder) and prescribed Risperdal. When did this not work he added 10mg Ritalin. This made things even worse. He had screaming ''fits'' at creche during the day which became more and more frequent. I've experienced these ''fits'' at home in the evenings and over weekends as well. Sometimes lasting for 90 minutes. As far as I can tell there is nothing that can be the trigger. Absolute desperate, the pediatrician referred us to a pshycologist. We've had our first 2 sessions this week. It seems like he might suffer from sensory overload. Nervous system not able to cope with everyday noise and surroundings and textures. We still have to complete the assessment though, so still no definite answer. But it seems to be a neorological disorder and not the creche itself. So now we play the waiting game and see what the psycologist will decide.

I remember when I first started visiting creches to check them out - at the one creche there was also this little boy crying terribly without anyone comforting him, they told me it is his 1st day and that it is normal. Needless to say, I was very disgusted with them and immediately scrapped them off my list of possibilities.

How long has your son been going to the new creche?

Hey Jules

I'm interested to know whether you eventually moved your son to another creche.

I agree with flowergirl that he should definitely have adapted after 2 years.

I'm reading these messages since my 2.5 year old son doesn't seem to be very happy in the creche where he is at the moment. He was in another creche before, but my husband saw the personnel hitting the kids, so we decided to move him to this larger, more organised creche. However, when he was at the other creche, he was happy to go and would barely say goodbye to me in the morning and was sometimes not to eager to leave in the afternoons. Now he screams the moment I stop at the creche and doesn't even want to get out of the car and when I fetch him in the afternoons he drops everything and runs to me.

Yesterday when I took him there was a little boy who was balling his eyes out and they just let him stand there crying, no one comforted him!

Flowergirl I think the problem might be that he finds the kids who confront him to take toys he is playing with intimidating. He is an only child and is therefore not used to other kids treating him like this. When he has play dates we manage this behaviour and ensure that he does share, but I definitely get the feeling that he feels bullied. He just doesn't look happy there.

My gut feel tells me to just take him out of the creche and leave him at home with the nanny for another year or longer. She is lovely with him and I can just give her a little educational program to do with him so he will get the same educational exposure. Then I will go back to organising play dates and taking him to parks where there are other kids over the weekend to give him some social exposure.

How do the other children seem to you when you drop him off or pick him up? When I was looking around for creches for my son, the first thing I observed was "do the children look happy?" I put him in a creche where the general atmosphere was a happy one and my son loves it there. Sometimes he cries when I fetch him because he doesn't want to leave!