Feel like a bad mommy......

Hahaha same thing with my big one she hates veggies I have given up on that, and as for my little one she only like the instant pap, she can have that 3 times a day and not eat food at all I don't force her also as long she is eating food.
My kids are really different from me......
Its actually scary when they become independent and have their own personality....I really want to mother them as long as it takes.

Jip, let's not even go there hahaha

My daughter chose her own cloths since she was TWO and she had the weirdest taste but I knew she had to find her own sense of style. I chose my battles wisely. She also didn't want to sleep in pjs. She wanted to wear her tights and tops and I just left her. Told myself, is it really going to make a difference what she sleeps in. It all worked out in the end.

We just need to remember that we all have our own personalities and I now try to place myself in her shoes and think how I would feel in a certain situations

My lived with my granddad for a while and he picked out my clothes. I hated it cause I didn't have that freedom and felt ugly cause we didn't have the same taste hahaha

I also don't force her to eat veggies. I dish it up every time but I know i was exactly the same and I love my veggies now. I just make sure she gets a got multi vit etc.

Yep team me about it.....
But I am trying to be more patient with her, like if she doesn't want to wear the clothes I let her choose her own clothes.
Just to avoid a fight lol....

Parenting is hard and we never stop learning. I'm still trying to do things differently. My daughter is almost 8 and she is very very strong willed. She is also a little Scorpio and stubborn in her own little way but I'm learning and trying to more gentle and understanding.

Really hope you find your groove

I also understand where you coming from to not wanting to hug her after a fight. I'm exactly like that. I get so angry that I don't want to interact with her but I know that she needs that hug and love.

Hi
I appreciate the advice.
thanks.

Hi Natasha

You definitely not a bad mother but I can hear the desperation in your voice.
Please google ahaparenting. Dr Laura gives such wonderful, sound advice on how to handle different situations.

Sounds like you have a very spirited, strong-willed daughter and there is nothing wrong with that. We also don't want to break that spirit of her cause it can help her so much in the big world.

Respect needs to come from both sides. We can't expect our children to respect us, if we don't respect them and pls, I'm not saying that you aren't respecting her. It's hard being a working mom & bringing up 2 children. Both want attention and oldest one usually suffers the most.

When our children act out, it's a cry for help. She feels disconnected from you. Make time for her. Even if it's just 10mins a day. Try taking her somewhere, even if it's just once a month. Do something she likes to do...play dolls with her.

The important thing is to always acknowledge her feelings. Show her you understand how she feels.

We need to remember that our children are not ours to own. They are on their own journey and we are merely here to guide them

We also some times need to stop and think why are we parenting the way we are. Are we trying to force things on them because WE want it? Is it really necessary, will it make a huge difference for example what they wear to bed, having long hair or short hair......things like that. Hope I'm making sense???

Yes, there needs to be basic rules but they need to be age appropriate. Also give warnings before something is going to happen, for example, bath time or bed time. It's hard for them when they watching something and you just stop them and tell them to go and bath. Rather warn her 10mins before the time.

What struck me is that you said you were scared of your mom. I personally don't want my child to be scared of me. You can have a child that "listens" without using physical punishment. The bible says you have to bend the tree while it's young but nowhere does it say that you have to spank. If you were brought up like that, it's very hard to refrain from that but you need to try.

To me, what does it teach a child? For me, I don't see the point of inflicting pain on my children. I always tell my mother, sisters, family etc....who gives me the right to do that to her body. The long term affects are just not worth it to me. Yes, I got hidings when I was young and my daughter has had a few but I'm trying really hard to avoid it and doing things differently.

Yes, she is only 5 but remember, there are soooo many things going on in that little body. She has her own personality and her own way of thinking. You can only gently guide her. Explains things to her. Some rules can be bent, others are non negotiable, like seatbelts, carseats etc.

I can type the whole day but don't want to clog up the post hahaha

Hi ladies,

ohhh Zaza2011, I really like your advise. I too will use it. Its so important that we show and tell our children how much we love them every day. We unfortunately are living in hectic and very demanding times. But making time for your children is outmost important no matter how old they get.

All the best Natasha......