Anyone else trying for a 2014 baby?

Hi all

Sterretjie, thanks for posting. That article is spot on!

Juno, sounds about right. Depends on the meds and how many visits to the FS and if you're going for bloods for LH.

That sounds like good news FG.

Lovely read Sterretjie - thanks.

Juno - for a monitored cycle on clomid - I paid about the same (in dr. costs for appointments).

AFM - AF signs definitely here, which is not an entirely bad thing. Because, if AF arrives within the next 3 days, it would mean I have actually had a normal 28ish day cycle without drugs. That doesnt usually happen.

Gain-a-baby goodluck!

Really great article Sterretjie..

TaNasha looks like I’m in the same boat..

Am so irritated. AF still hasn’t arrived properly - been spotting lightly for 5 days with no show and I am now 2 days late. Have been having the normal cramping associated with AF and did a test which as I thought was negative. So we continue waiting…

For those going the FS route I just wanted to ask about costs. For a monitored, medicated cycle it is going to cost me about R1700 excluding the cost of the drugs. I have absolutely no clue what the norm is. Is this high, low, average?

Morning Ladies

Hope you are all well?

I came across this article and it sums up pretty much the feelings and emotions of so many couples that are struggling to conceive - it is a bit long but worth the read



Ten words that describe infertility

Here are ten words I would use to describe how infertility feels:

1. Lonely. We saw couple after couple get pregnant before us, our best friends included. When they told us, we high-fived them, then we went home, and hardly knew what to say to each other. We felt lost, sad, and even lonelier than before. We were excited for them; we were just very sad for us.

It’s okay to go home and cry your eyes out when your friends get pregnant.

2. Exposed. Everybody wants to give you advice, and some people say incredibly stupid things. My favorite: “You just need to stop trying so hard!” Some people want to know every excruciating detail of what you’re doing to get pregnant. Suddenly, your most private details are the subject of casual conversation. Once people know you’re trying, people want to know how it’s going, if you’ve done artificial insemination, if you’d consider IVF, and how it felt in that small white room with the gross leather chair & the bad magazines.

It’s okay to avoid the question, smile, and change the subject. Keep as many things private as you can (except to a few trusted friends).

3. On Hold. We were always checking the calendar, wondering if we should plan that vacation, or that work trip, because what if we’re pregnant? Then we stopped doing that, because we would have never lived if we would have scheduled everything around a “what if.”

It’s okay to miss a month or two; you have to live your life. This is hard, but over the long haul, it will create more stress if you feel so trapped that you can’t plan anything. We even found that it’s good to take a month off now and then.

4. Invaded. For women, there are so many things entering your body (probes, needles, drugs) and so many people measuring your progress. Even sex, at the mercy of a calendar or a temperature reading, can feel invasive. The loss of control can almost merge into a loss of self. But, it feels like once you’ve started down this road, there’s no stopping until you get pregnant.

It’s okay to say what you need, and it’s okay to shore up your boundaries in whatever ways you can.

5. Awkward. During one of the first visits where I was given the small cup and ceremoniously ushered into the small room, I actually ran into some people from my church afterwards. Of course they had their baby with them. I had a small cup that contained very personal contents with me. They asked, “What are you doing here?” I mean, what do you say?

It’s okay to laugh at yourself sometimes. And when someone catches you with your cup in your hand, that’s all you can do.

6. Angry. Unfair is the password that gets you into the infertility club. Mary tells a story of a friend asking her if she was angry with God. “No!” she blurted. “I’m angry at pregnant women!” She knew this was irrational, but she also knew that it was good for her soul to be honest in safe places. You actually may be angry with God, and you may need to find some safe places to be honest about that.

It’s okay to express the darkness, even the stuff you’re terribly embarrassed about, because it’s good for your soul. But in the right places, with people who can handle it.

7. Stressed. Even though it seems like a stressed out couple is less likely to get pregnant, The American Society for Reproductive Medicine finds that there is no proof stress causes infertility. Besides, trying hard to “not be so stressed about it” never worked for us. It also didn’t help to “just stop trying.” Everybody has a friend who was infertile for 73 years, and the day they stopped trying, they got pregnant. That never happened with us.

It’s okay to be stressed. Don’t stress about your stress. Trying hard not to be stressed is silly.

8. Despair. The cycle of hope and despair with infertility can take you out. I remember getting so excited when Mary was 2 days late, and just knowing that this time, it’s going to happen! Then, a few days or hours later, when she told me she got “it,” I would plunge into despair. The alternative is to temper your hope so that your despair doesn’t get so low. After about a hundred months of experiencing this cycle, we found that the best route is to keep hoping, and if it doesn’t happen, keep crying. It’s too hard to pretend that you’re not excited and that you’re not depressed. Be excited. Be depressed.

It’s okay to hope, and it’s okay to cry. Keep hoping and keep crying.

9. Loss. This was not how it was supposed to be. This was not what you dreamed it would be. And you don’t know how it will end.

It’s okay if you don’t know how to wrap your mind around your emotions. Be gentle with yourself for not totally having control of how you feel from moment to moment.

10. Ambivalence. Every time you have to go through another kind of treatment, you ask yourself: “Is it worth it? Do I really want it that bad?” And then in the very next breath, you are taken out by the sheer magnitude of how much you want a baby.

It’s okay to want and not want. That’s normal.

If you’re struggling with infertility, it can be such a dark time. You have to be out loud with each other about what you need, and every journey will be different. You have to give yourselves permission to do this journey in whatever way makes the most sense for you.

My blessing for you as you struggle: May God give you what you need, when you need it, over and over and over again.

Eve - if you are being monitored on Clomid (i.e dr. checking to ensure that you are infact ovulating on the clomid), then the next step would be AI. However, if you have just been taking the clomid without being monitored, it could be that you are still not ovulating on the current dosage of clomid, so that would need to be adjusted. but 6 months is kind of the max for a consecutive period if I remember correctly, so definitely check in with the prescribing doctor.

Hi all

Gain a Baby - so sorry. Yes it is very stressful. Hope the break does you well.

FG - So sorry again.

Eve- 6 months on Clomid is quite hectic. Best to see the FS. I did 6 rounds of AI with Femara and may have to move onto IVF.
Usually 6 months of Clomid home plan may mean to move onto AI or to change the stimulating meds. Also important to do SA again.

Juno, yes I will be doing OPK's again, also hate not knowing. So sorry AF picthed.
FX for the next cycle.

GW- glad you hear from you again.

TaNasha, the waiting gaime is so frustrating!

AFM - AF started on Saturday 9dpo, early!! CD3 today.

Good Morning ladies,

Hope you have all had a lovely weekend!

Gain-a-baby I am sorry, I know it must have been disappointing walking out of the hospital after the negative results. Good Luck with your weight loss journey x

EveStyles, are you being monitored while on Clomid? And has DH been tested?

Sorry about AF Juno, good luck for the new cycle. I also hate not knowing. I like knowing exactly when I have, or even IF I have ovulated at all.

Gloeiwurmpie I have heard lots of good things about Vitex! I tried it back in my old TTC days, but it did not do much for me. Glad it is working well for you.

Carmen how is the 2WW?

Hello to everyone else!

AFM, still no AF!! I just want AF to arrive so I can start charting again and know where I am in my cycle. We are going on holiday in 2 weeks and it would really suck if AF decided to arrive then, GRRRRRRRRR