Hi Cindaq,
There is another group you can join on here called Trying for a 2016 baby. I was part of that group for long and that is the kind of group that actually understands your feelings, disappointment etc.
Hubby and I also struggled with secondary infertility for nearly 2 years. My doctor put me on Fertomid for a few cycles and when nothing happened, he suggested we do insemination. So hubby had to go and leave his sperm at the hospital and when I went to collect it, we discovered that he has low sperm count. I do think that If I asked him to be tested, he would go, but needless to say, we found out when he left his sperm for the procedure. We did the procedure in anyway, with no success.
We were then scheduled to go see the urologist so that we could make sure everything with him is fine. But before we could get to that appointment, we discovered I was expecting. We did however, try conceive plus fertility lubricant and we still believe that is what helped get the "few" sperm he had at that time to the right place.
Good luck with your journey. There is not much anyone can say that will make you feel better.