Feeling so exhausted

@Mandz. I've only recently gone back to gym. My LG is almost a year old and sleeps through the night so no more waking up in the wee hours.

@Zulu: that's why I say we are killing ourselves for our DH's and babies who would actually give u MUCH more of a break than u give yourself! They think u don't go anywhere/do anything for yourself cos u don't want to. They have NO IDEA u are doing all of that for them. My DH has also often said "but I NEVER restrict you from going out/ doing stuff for yourself! In fact I encourage it but u seem to always want to stay at home." ... question is, do I WANT to always be at home or do I subconsciously feel that I NEED TO/ SHOULD always be home?... Nobody made those rules but you made them for yourself.

DH just does not understand the me feeling guilty party. He says i'm not leaving the kids next door.

Zulu like everyone else says, its a normal feeling. We as working moms (and NOT saying SAHM have it easier- cos they dont) are all trying to find the balance. There are only so many hours in a day and I must admit, I cannot fit gym in, though we belong to gym-and I also feel the FAT factor Zulu-and DONT want to end up like Ruby either!

Ok so I see there are some super human moms here-you go to bed after all the chores are done, possibly wake up quite a few times with baby at night and then still wake up and end up at gyms door at 5am!!!! Wow, are you guys training for the marathon LOL? I do wish I had the energy to do that. But maybe DH and I should take turns each morning. One day he goes and one day I go? Have you considered that? And that way you get the break in between.

When I get home I feel like I need to focus my attention on LO 100% as he will be asleep by 6pm and that doesnt give us much bonding time in a day.

As for the nails, hair etc- I struggle to fit that in....and also feel guilty spending money on myself as I would feel better buying Nan or Diapers! LOL and i know that we should pamper ourselves, but it is hard....

No real help I guess, just a quick note to say I hear you!

@Zulu. This is a valuable lesson I also learnt from a friend. Never let yourself get to a place where u are practically bursting with frustration!!! Before u get there, give yourself some relief.

What she would do (funny story) - when their nanny was off for the weekend, she would look after the baby all day and all night and her DH would be watching tv or out with friends. So, if she was up at 4am with a crying baby after she'd looked after the baby all day and night, whether DH had just got home from a night out or was watching movies till the wee hours of the morning, she didn't care. She would give him the baby, bottle, nappy bag etc and lock herself into the guest bedroom. She said, she could just feel her blood boiling with anger at DH and frustration at crying baby & rather than reach a point where she snapped, rather give yourself a breather. DH might not be impressed but he'll get over it. If she'd bn doing it for like 16 straight hourse, surely he could help out for a few hours while she got some rest! It's his kid too!

See, most of us...even at the point of going insane, still feel it's our responsibility to look after baba. Well, what i learnt from that friend is to recognise my limits and don't let things get there. and also, you don't have to do it all yourseld. Your kids will greet u with a smile whether u get home at 4pm or at 6pm cos u took some time after work to go to the mall/gym/nails/ whatever. Infact, believe it or not, they will barely notice!!! It's our exaggerated sense of guilt that makes us punish ourselves more than your kids/DH would.

Thanx Mommies

@Patty, i have a nanny, she is fairly good, she doesn't complain, she laughed when i said i'm just going to look like Ruby, and said i should not make the kids an excuse.( in a friendly way)

@RM, today i surprised myself and rolled out of bed and went to the gym at 5h30, and i felt a bit better afterwards, except that when i had to leave for work i was in a rush grabbing phone, bag, keys.
Naturally, i'm a very organised person, but i've lost that, scared my sanity is just hanging by the thread.

@Christelle, can't i get the VitB tables, i heard that the injection makes you immobile because of pain. My gym does have child care facilities but it's my son only who is registered, and i'm so scared to go with him, he is ADHD, the other day DH was called from the spinning class he was getting out of control

@Elamsmom, i really need a "NOT NEGOTIABLE ME TIME" b4 i loose my sanity.

Thax a lot
Z

Hi Zulu - shame, I think there are few mommies out there who haven't felt what you're feeling! I agree with what the other moms have said. And I can really agree with Christelle - find out if there is a childcare facility at your gym - my little girl LOVES going - so it works for both of us. I never gym for long, but feel more human after that bit of me time! I know I'm a better mom when I'm not feeling "used up" and frazzled.

Hi Zulu

I feel your pain dear. I'm sure you are one of those ppl who, like a lot of us here, have that over exaggerated sense of responsibility almost to the point of being a martyr! Problem is, all the while that you are doing what you "should" do (according to your very thick rule book of what a mother & wife/fiance/girlfriend ought to do for her family), YOU are not feeling good/happy/fulfilled inside...then you feel guilty cos SURELY, you should be happy doing what a "good" mother/wife/fiance/girlfriend should do...

Well, it doesn't quite work that way. Save for a VERY few select group of ppl which includes Mother Theresa and the like , most of us need to take care of "ME" in order to really be happy taking care of others...

When I start to feel claustrophobic and have that "trapped" feeling or start to feel overwhelmed, I have learnt to put tools down!If the nanny is away, I leave the baby with my husband & get out of the house! Even if for an hour. Go to the mall, buy a book, window shop, have a coffee/lunch all by myself etc.

With respect to gym, I do that weekdays and I leave home at 06:45 to make the 6am class at gym. I try to get to work earlier, around 7 - 7:30am and skip the lunch hour thing so that i can get home early. That way, even tho, I left my baby still asleep, I get to spend an extra hour or 2 with her in the evenings.If u can't do the morning, why don't you pack your gym stuff &go to the gym straight from work? Going home 1st then leaving again for the gym would challenge even the most avid gym-goer.

With hair and nails and all, make the time. so maybe one Saturday a month it becomes non-negotiable that it is mommy's "ME TIME."

I also sometimes (always) feel guilty about spending money on myself, but again, I know that I am aperson who likes to have hair and nails done and new clothes every now and then & I know how UGLY I feel if I have nothing to wear in the morning, or my hair looks crappy. & feeling that way doesn't do my family any justice so rather work out a way for everyone to get a treat once in a while. What I like to do is to have a month where I know its all about Baby and I buy her whatever I think she needs (& spoil her a little ) then maybe the next month, I don't spend (except on essentials like groceries obviously) then the next month, it's about me then DH etc.

Taking care of you is part of taking care of them.