Expectations

Thanks EP!

@Claire A and Julz: you're right about taking what you need from the books (and certainly some of it with a pinch of salt!). I actually do still sometimes consult the Baby Sense book as there is some useful information in it.

The thing with the books though, for me, is that when you are a new first time mom in that hormone addled, sleep deprived postpartum period and have misplaced the manual that baba came with, you lack the ability to calmly and logically sift through the information in the books and not stress about what seems to be going wrong. They make it seem so simple if only your LO will be like a pre-programmed robot that should respond in a certain way, and you end up feeling like a failure and frustrated when it doesn't work, until the fog starts to clear and you start to lighten up.

As for us judging each other, I find I judge others most harshly for things that I judge myself for. I do find that I am very judgemental of moms who choose elective c-sections and who won't try to breastfeed. I had a natural birth with epidural, but I know that had I had to have a c-sec I would've been very disappointed with myself (as it is, I still regret the epidural because I risked having a c-sec because of that choice). As for breastfeeding, I exclusively bf until 5 weeks when I started topping up with formula because of low supply, and I think I still feel bad about that because of "breast is best", etc. I see that when I stop judging myself, I will probably stop judging others.

Here is the link

www.iol.co.za/html/frame_babynet.php?set...0614071409220C859273

WTF!!! Sunblock causes skin cancer??? Great!

My mom was a working mom and yet she asks why I don't stay home with Dylan rather.

I think I only breastfed for so long due to being lazy. So much easier than making bottles and washing them etc. I loved it.

I was bottle fed soy milk. I still wonder if this is not why I have so many health issues.

And just incase you don't worry enought there is now evidence that sun block actually causes skin cancer. Brilliant!!!

(Sorry, the post submitted twice )

Awesome thread!

I find it EXTREMELY difficult to be a mom, a employee and a house'wife'. I think only being a mom is already a full time job! Society really puts alot of pressure on us like Claudia said, according to society we should do all of these while being totally composed, looking fabulous and calm and relaxed. OR NOT.

About the people judging moms...I find that even my mother judge me daily, and does not respect the decisions I make regarding my baby. When I decided to get a nanny in the beginning, she was against it, when the nanny didn't work out my mom was the first to tell me 'I told you so!', now that that creche also isn't working out it's the same story all over again. So yes, without the support system of your family or friends it's REALLY difficult trying to be a 3in1 supermom.

I wasnt breast fed as a baby, my mother couldnt breastfeed, she tried with my older sister and developed cysts, so as soon as I was born I was put onto forumla. My DH's mom didnt even attempt to breastfeed him, also put him straight onto formula.

When I found out I was pregnant, the thought of not breastfeeding didnt enter my mind. I wasnt adament to do it, but I just always thought I could and should at least try to breastfeed.

When Jensen was born, he couldnt latch, the sisters told me to give him a dummy so that he could learn how to suck, which I did. He eventually started sucking but still wouldnt latch properly and ended up biting my nipples - which was so painful.

My second day with my LB the MIL came to visit, she marched down to the nurses station and demanded a bottle with formula for her first grandson because she would not allow me, the new mother, to starve her grandson and leave him to scream from hunger. The nursing sister came to me and asked if I wanted to try formula and I said no - I believed that he was getting enough and there was no need not to breastfeed.

I continued to breastfeed for 10 weeks until I could no longer take the pain, the bleeding and throbbing nipples and moved him onto formula.

I know that I did the best job that I could in that department, although, the MIL believes that I shouldnt have even bothered.

Her expectations were not met by me, and this might be the reason I get treated the way I do by her - I dont feel bad, he is growing up perfectly healthy and strong and wouldnt change a single thing! (well - besides the MIL of course )