Or should you choose? Is there even a choice? Choosing to stay at home and be present at every milestone your child goes through, or to go to work to be in a position to provide a better financial future, is a personal decision. Opinions are as vast as there are mother types. Moomie got some inspiration from Moomie Moms!

Moms like us telling it like it is!

Mom Tasneem: "Yes, you definitely can. I still have career goals and I am still working towards it, my son being two years old now. It’s all about your partner’s support and prioritising and time management. Another important factor is your determination and the amount of time and effort you are willing to put into everything you need to do."

Mom Fahria: "I think it is so important to have career goals as a mum – having kids and being a mum doesn’t mean any of your career goals or dreams have to come to an end. I personally think it’s so important to be a well-rounded mum in every aspect of your life and it’s such a great way of being a role-model to both our little sons and daughters. It shows them that mums really ARE superwomen – seeing to home as well as working and being in charge of it all! In a way as well it motivates them to be the best that they can be and also shows them that having a goal in life and working towards it is so rewarding! I love it when my kids ask why I work and what I want to do in the future and then hear their response about what they would like to be as well – that’s just amazing!" 

Mom Abigail: "Yes, you can have career goals. My mom always said never wait on a man to bring you money. I worked straight out of school, met my husband the same year I started working and when our second child was born I told him I'm not happy. After seven years of working, my youngest was very sick and because he had to be breastfed we decided it's best for me to stay at home. I decided to get a degree while I am at home. This is my third year of studying, I work my ass off and I am an A student. It's hard - very hard, had to put my baby in a crèche. He is turning four, I don't mind staying at home, it's very nice but I feel incomplete. I am very happy now even though I miss my salary but that will come again. I got a spouse who is supportive of me and our kids, like 200% committed, but he understands that I need to pursue my own career and dreams and I am very thankful to him. I try to make it work around my children's schedules. I go to class while they are in school. I have amazing friends that help if I can't fetch the eldest. I sit with homework, I talk to them and I study when they sleep. I read them stories, we play, I'm always tired but I got a dream and come hell or high water I'm going to work hard to get what I want!"

Mom Sihaam: "I don't think the answer is as simple as a yes or no. I want to have career goals, but I don't want my relationship with my kids to suffer. I think it also depends on the goals, for me the hardest thing is sticking to my goals or staying on track, because I'm my kids’ support system. Daddy works hard and puts in the hours etc. So I can't also? Who will be there for them if we both working on our careers. Yes, it's important to have career goals and want to be successful, but right now (in my case) working on a career is not an option."

Mom Emelia: "I had two kids, aged four and eight, when I went to study full time... I fell pregnant and had a baby, and I am currently doing my internship. You must have career goals - your goals motivates your kids when they see what you can achieve and it encourages them to do better… that’s what I believe."

Mom Nawaal: "Absolutely possible! I've nurtured two children as a single mom for the past 17 years. It's definitely possible. It’s about priorities, obligations and living on our own terms. I got ill a few years ago and resigned from the rat race. Guess what? My kids adore me... Guilt free, they do. We had no compromise on quality time. As for my profession... I worked my little buns off and we thrived. Today they are the strongest, kindest and most considerate thinkers. And their ambitions? To live life on their own terms and they do so every day. Happiness is not limited to stay at home moms. I made my career and all associates acknowledge the priority of my children. They hunted me and paid me anyway. It’s all about balance and entirely about love!"

And there you have it! Straight from moms’ mouths. Indeed, it can be done, if you can put the work necessary into it. But it is all based on personal choice and preference.

Personally, if I could have my way, I would be a stay at home mom and be part of the magic of children growing up, and putting my time and effort into parenting them. But then again, I’ve never really been the very ambitious kind to start with. Now unfortunately work is a necessity as we need the second income to survive, so no option there. 

Moomie would love to hear your opinion! Do you agree with these Moomie Moms? Or do you see it in a different light? 

 – Jana Cloete

Picture by: Dani G Photography. Contact her at info@danigphotography.co.za.