MIssesMom - why lock a thread?

That debate comes up time and time again. How inconsiderate of others to spread such nonsense.
Its those that have a big 'mouth' on forums that wouldn't dare say all of this face to face.

What you don't realise is that people are laughing at you behind your back. Perhaps a few apologies are in order. Especially to Missesmom who has our best interests at heart. And yes she can and will lock threads that have the tendency to lead to uncalled for bitchiness! Take it or leave

Kirst sadly this topic does bring out the worst in us and I have seen it get very nasty . I think it was a wise choice to block the thread.

There will always be people who can debate an issue in a calm way without becoming personal and then there are others who do become personal. All of them actually really good people, but mothering choices tend to be our core and when another has an opinion it is sometimes taken as a judgement.

Reluctant mom once said what is actually so bad about judgement. You can't always prevent another person from being critical or spiteful, but you can certainly choose how you want to react to it.

It has been a hard year for everyone I recon and people are tired and it is just harder to maintain a good balance this time of the year.

To save loads of heartache rather lock the thread. It will come up again I promise.

I don't think you give adult women enough credit for being able to make up their own minds: "No mother can make an informed decision when personal, judgemental comments are being made". As some mothers said in reply to the topic they made their own choices in the face of being judged by others. And if we were all so susceptible to the judgements of others (and show me anyone who doesn't make judgements), we would all be simultaneously racists, liberals, pro choice, anti abortion, pro vaccine, anti vaccine, etc.

As for some people looking down on others for their choices, it's not the thread that caused that, it's a fact of life, we all do it. I look down on others for some of their choices and they look down at me for some of mine. Maybe it is even helpful for some women sitting on the fence where their birthing choice is concerned to see that it is harshly judged by some people and why (and to see the replies in response to that judgement). The thread reflected the responses they could expect to encounter in the real world, and I would think that this is actually helpful.

I still don't know why the thread has to be locked rather than requesting that people not make personal attacks. And who knows, if you let it unfold, we may all manage to finally agree to peacefully disagree. Or not.

But it is your forum to do with as you wish.

Comments were getting out of hand, and I could see one step away from becoming seriously personal.
The thread had moved into a "I'm better than you" topic, which is not what Moomie is about. No mother can make an informed decision when personal, judgemental comments are being made.

Moomie is here for moms to support each other, to help, not to make other women feel like crap!

Its a happy time of year coming and personally I will not have it marred by a bitch fight!

Kirst, I agree that these threads are informative and important for other mothers who need to make a choice about a birthing method.

I believe the thread moved away from the goal of informing other women of their birthing options and offering help, but it rather moved towards a situation where moomies start to look down upon each other for their birthing choices and that is not helpful to the forum (in my opinion) and it only causes tension between users.

I know it is a public forum and people can say what they want but I also respect the owners of the forum who chooses what they will have on their forum and what not.

I see the c-sec thread has been locked and I’m just wondering why this is done when I think it was becoming an interesting discussion? Yes, things were becoming heated, but is that a reason to lock the thread? Are people not allowed to say what they really think?

I know Moomie is primarily a place for people to come for advice and information, but surely there is information for them even in a slightly heated debate.

If you don’t like what people are saying or how they are saying it, then why not approach them on the forum and say so? Rather than locking a thread just because you disagree with what people are saying.

By locking the thread you don’t allow for anymore discussion on the topic, for people to be able to reply to posts and for people to be able to start to see others’ perspectives – I gave a lot of thought to Liz’s post and her perspective, which gave me a better understanding of where some women in their choices are coming from, and when I went to reply the thread is locked.

We are all adults here with our own opinions and we can disagree with each other. If someone disagrees with us, even in a nasty way, we can choose to take that on or not, that’s life. We all left nursery school long ago. I for one have no problem with someone saying that my post is pathetic – that’s simply their opinion. As I would expect others to take my opinion if they agree with it, or not if they don’t.