Birth stories - Trans-like home birth

Birth stories - Trans-like home birth ^Featured

Xenia Malherbe Venter (32) was lucky. She wanted a homebirth with a midwife and got it. And it was wonderful.

Xenia admits to not really doing a lot of research beforehand. “I just felt like it was what I wanted to do,” she explains. She adds that the first birth is a very unsure experience. “My midwife arrived 40 minutes before Stella was born. We didn’t really think birth was so close until I started pushing as my water broke and she was on her way back from Cape Town and we live in Paarl. She guided the pushing phase which I’d like to manage myself undisturbed this time around,” says Xenia, who at the time of the interview was 37 weeks with her second child.

Mild Contractions

Her contractions started around 21:00. “I wasn’t sure what to feel. I was expecting everything to contract in spasms but it just felt like really bad period pains. I had every ten minutes throughout the night. I couldn’t sleep. I just breathed and squatted.” Stella was born the next morning around 11:00.

Just Go With It

Xenia says that everything felt natural during Stella’s birth. “It didn’t feel out of control. I just went with it.” She adds that she was privileged to have a very good experience with birth and everything just flowing. She had pain, but deep breathing and squatting worked best. “I didn’t feel as though I need support and managed it on my own, being in a safe place, my parents’ guest house facility. I moved around freely, took warm baths etc. My husband was there all of the time I needed him. I was totally overwhelmed by the experience, totally engaged in it. I gave birth on all fours in be.” She says again that she’d like the pushing phase to be as undisturbed as the rest of her experience. “The midwife also massaged my stomach to release the placenta which wasn’t pleasant. My worst fear was an episiotomy and I was happy I didn’t tear!”

Dealing with It

Xenia dealt with the overwhelming experience of giving birth by breathing as deeply as she could. “I never experienced any fear. I just went with it. I did feel out of control when it comes to pain for a moment in the transition phase when pain is really intense but managed to walk down a flight of stair after that as the only warm water was upstairs. As I came down my water broke and I started pushing automatically. I was very aware of everything: the ring of fire, the baby crowning… everything was clear!” The fact that everything went so smoothly and being really focused inward got Xenia through the experience, but she admits that she was emotional at a point as she was a week overdue and everybody kept asking where the baby was. “I didn’t really let anyone’s fears interfere with what I wanted. I worked closely with my midwife and I trusted her. My husband was totally for it and I never doubted that he wanted to experience this with me. He encourage it.”

The Amazing Female Body

“I did it,” says Xenia, still amazed. “I just gave birth. It’s really overwhelming and exhilarating, almost a trans-like state,” she describes her experience.” She kept thinking that giving birth was a natural thing for women all over the world. “We are designed to do this,” she adds.

A Little More Next Time

Xenia says she wishes that she’d read all of Ina May Gaskin’s books as she hadn’t read any. “I wasn’t prepared for the guided pushing stage, being told what to do then. That was negative to me,” says Xenia. “I had bleeding nipples for two months. Stella was very sleepy and didn’t latch properly. I have slightly inverted nipples and she bruised as I didn’t know what to do and feel I didn’t have great guidance.” She also received a Voltaren injection, but states that she’ll make it clear she doesn’t want one next time. “I’d also love to have a water birth,” concludes Xenia. - Staff writer

Baby’s Weight: 3.02 kg @ 41 weeks

Books Read: What to Expect when you’re Expecting

*Artwork: “Weightless / Transition”, acrylic on wood by Melissa Loera

Birth stories - Trans-like home birth Featured

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Birth stories - Trans-like home birth ^Featured