Oct/Nov 2008 mommies!

Oh Vix, my post crossed your post, so now i know how you are coping. Thanks for sharing, and I can also understand what you needed to do to get through it. Its even more impressive that Elway gave you that space to find time to bond with Jonathan. Its not like you not to be motherly but you were dealing with LIFE adn DEATH concern for yourself, and two babies and all the hormones must have been on overload. You were also worried about your husband on the domestic front, how he was coping with all the birth issues and his wife, as well as how Christopher was getting on and settiling in, that is huge.. Emotionally you have survived thus far and after all that, you found time to allow "feeling" and accepting Jonathan when you could "fit" it in amongst everything else! so glad you are able to bond with him now! Amazing stuff. and relieved that your mom will be there for that extra set of hands... wish you had 4 sets of hands, one for each child and one for yourself!!

Shame mandy not easy to see as a parent but it is quite normal! We were told that should Dylan hit or bite another child, that we should shower the hurt child with love and ignore our own. Not sure about it but it may help.

Dylan used to hurt me and is getting better now, but still smacks when angry.

Ahhh lwasi I cant imagine how it must be for you. Oh my word it is going to be heaven to see your boy again!!!!!!!

vix I can completely relate to what you mean about protecting yourself by switching off emotionally. It is human nature. I did it when pregnant with Dylan as I was so scared of loosing him. I actually do it alot in life in general.

What you have been through has been scary and you have needed to be strong for everyone including yourself, but you are human and have feelings and it is okay to feel and get angry and upset as this is how you accept things and grow. From my therapy and from chatting to my therapist who had a baby born at 28weeks many many years ago which survived purely on mothers love and instinct, I know that you and Jono are going to have the most special, unique bond that a mother and child can possibly have. xxx

Hi ladies,

Vix I am so happy to have you post in such a jolly mood, hun your coping mechanism dont have to make sense to us so long as you are fine with them and they make sense to you. You know what amazes me, its that the moment you held Jono he became excited to have his mom there, the innocence the dependence that says mom I need you and ur the only one that makes sense to me. Thats why I cant wait to see Amo and for him to see his mom.

Congratulations Vix please know that we love you and we are here for you no matter what, stay strong my love.

oh Vix, THANKS hon, too beautiful!! Really awesome pics, Alex looks so big compared to Jono! those glasses are cool hey! what were those for? You look fantastic... right at the birth and truly happy..

How are you coping love?

Helen - when you are next here, we are very excited to hear from you!! I think I will call you today and see how you are doing!

Gals - we have my dad staying over and he kindly got up with Cameron at 05h30 this morning. I got up at 06h30 and hubby at 07h30 - HEAVEN! we are going to the zoo lake this morning to feed the ducks and take a stroll, and then I have a FREE afternoon - I mean BABY FREE - Im off to a christmas lunch with my dad and his mates and leaving Cam with his daddio! WHOO HOOO! I think I will hang out there ALL afternoon.. just to enjoy the bliss of it! ( Sorry if I sound mean - but really excited! )

We took Cam to Yeesh yesterday ( and hubby went to the boys to watch rugby and play poker) and Cam actually played on his own! He does not often leave the table if I ever go to a restuarant with a playground - which is at least once a week on the week end - so he is becoming a little more independant!

Im having a serious problem with his aggression still! Yesterday much to my HORROR at top tots - he leant in and hugged a gal and then what i thought was a cute kiss , turned into a bite! the gal had teeth marks on her cheek and she of course was holwing! and I just watched and then took him to the naughty corner in the class! while at yeesh the cutest blonde gal jumped into the ball pool and was quietly sitting next to him and he reached over and hit her twice in the face before i could separate them! anyhoo - all I can do is apologise myself after making him apologize and work on it!!!

NAUGHTY BOY!!

Anyhoo - have a lovely day - its going to be toooooo hot here at 30 degrees!!! Wish i had a pool!

Stunning photos Vix. I am so impressed by you. You just knew exactly what to do with Jonathan even though he is so tiny and it must be so scary. Jonathan can do nothing but get stronger day by day with you there to touch him and even breastfeed him!!! wow awesome. Brings tears of joy. glad you mom can help you a bit. You must be so excited to see Christopher. x


Helen what a picture perfect birth. So chuffed for you. xxx

oh forgot to tell you guys, Jonathan's weight had dropped down to 1.558 but as of yesterday he had gained 5g, doesn't sound like much but for him it's great and every gain is a step closer to coming home, i really need to get him on 100% BM then he should start gaining fast.

My milk 'came in' last night, wow big hard boobies, forgot about those, but I'm managing to express nearly 50ml every 3 hours just from the 1 breast and I'm saving one breast for Alex, just rotating sides each time so both breasts get equal stimulation and emptying.

so they should easily be able to put Jonathan on full BM as off tomorrow! Yippie.

I think holding Jonathan changed my emotions and in turn bought on the hormonal change needed for the milk to come. It's such an odd feeling as if I've cried and let my frustration out without the tears. Before we went to NICU yesterday i still felt like i was trying not to think about it too much to avoid getting emotional but now i feel so void of disappointment and just feel free again to be happy. It's like holding him made me realise he is real and as adorable as my other boys and soon he will be home with us.

I have a weird coping system but i think my way of dealing with hurt is to avoid it in the first place so by not recognizing emotionally what my baby was going through would somehow make the difficulty easier...........mmmm does that make sense to anyone? It's not like I'm holding my emotions in, it's just like I'm actually not allowing myself to develop any surrounding the situation rather.