Oct/Nov 2008 mommies!

Leigh no you can't feel like this. You have lost your identity and guilt is keeping you there. I realise you have 3 kids, but you need to make a plan to have some "you" time.

Even if Frans can't look after the kids, your mom can for an hour or two every week.

EG I do yoga on a wed evening. Amazing me time. cost 200.00 for 5 lessons. Not too bad.

As for our appearance this is tricky as it costs to look good and I know you don't wear makeup.

I guess that is why Neil and I are quite happy. We have our own lives away from each other. Really important.

We are going to go walking hey!!!!!

Oh and while I am working from home I am going to adopt the no tracksuit rule. I am going to get up every morning shower wash hair as always, put on makeup and dress properly to take Dylan to school and you are all going to kick my butt if I don't.

Plus I have ideas on wanting to expand and do different things but now I'm just held back. I don't want Erin to go into a creche, not even for a morning - I just feel its too early. The other 2 went at 3 years and I want to do the same for her. I don't think I could bear dropping her off now and walking away, I think that would just be the cherry on top. But I just feel like my dreams are put on hold. I don't know, I feel bad when I say it - I love my kids with all my heart...but I just feel trapped. I don't feel to go back to being a working mum....but I just want to venture. Does this sound selfish?

Somehow I think this discussion is going to have me in tears when I write and read others true thoughts.

A few weeks ago there was a woman on "Style by Jury". She lived in tracksuit pants and had long hair, always kept back - very dull looking person. Thats just SOOO me. And I was in tears when I watched it. I want to look after me but I just can't find the time. And when I do I just feel so guilty leaving even DH with the 3.

I just don't think he understands that I know he has an 8 hour day but he gets out. And when he comes home he has a change of scenery. I don't. And just lately I just feel like I'm suffocating. Sometimes I have the opportunity to go out....but then its normally last minute, I don't have anyone to see and I don't really want to go out on my own.

Leigh and Ally I can relate. N asked me if I don't find him attractive anymore as we don't do the deed as often. We still manage once a week, but less obviously. It isn't him, I just feel like I am all out of "space". Like I want to be by myself a bit. I guess it has been two years of devotion to a baby and I am finished.

It was nice going out on our own on Friday. Neil was checking his phone the whole time.I was just enjoying it being us with no kid to look after.

Leigh you need to take time for yourself. It is so so important. I know it isn't easy, but you need to.

firstly Angie - CJ is gorgeous!! Keep them coming!

Angie and Lee - you know, the truth is MOTHERS have to JUST GET ON WITH IT for most of our time, and thats not fun!! You two think you are doing what you have to in order to get through it and to help your family, but if you dont look after number one, NO ONE ELSE WILL!
I have said it before, but i think that what many of us need from time to time is a LIFE COACH!.. and there are workshops and courses for this.. They really do help you FIND TIME for YOU by helping you plan it and get help from your own family.. they help you set goals and make plans and for your goals to be set for a particular time so that you follow through. They also help you PACK away your stuff and I just found it so valueble!

Hahhahahahhahahahhahahhahahahahaha....Julz, you think I'm taking them all??? No way. Anyway just found out its lunch on Saturday at 1pm, so can't make it this time, will promise to try next time.

I don't know. Sometimes I just think the move was maybe a bit too big for us. I mean we moved and it all ran smoothly, but I'm not sure we understood what everything was going to mean once we'd gotten this side. And now with my aunt passing....sometimes it just feels like too much.

DH and I have distanced from each other so much since having kids. And now especially with having 3. I find it a huge responsibility to look after them myself and not ask for help when I need babysitting. I think sometime we can handle one or two downs at a time....but sometimes too much just gets too much. I have some busy months ahead of me with it being birthday months. I think the same as Ally, possibly we've just changed so much. And with me how I feel about myself...weight wise...he's just not in it with me really.

Its just too much.

Leigh do you mean for the meet. I would take you if you like, but I can't fit all the kids in my car.

You be surprised what a therapist can do. They can't change your situation, but they can help you figure out how your emotions relate to things. I have had so many a ha moments. You could get the same from Oprah though. I have a personal oprah I guess.